


Barriers

by IwriteDreams



Category: World Trigger
Genre: Barriers, I can't belive I'm going back to finish writing my first ever story for my first year of nanowrimo, I had some actually really good ideas for other stories as i wrote this, I swear I'll write you better stories, Maybe - Freeform, Multi, NaNoWriMo, NaNoWriMo 2016, Rewrite, This is trash, and my struggles are in vain., curse my soul, gays, hoooooo boiiii, if i ever finish this., later. - Freeform, nobody will every read this, nobody!, okay then.... i'm off to go sleep. wait nvm, space stuff, that's actually nice, that's sad, trash, we're talking some voltron shit, who even reads my stories?, written under stress
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-10
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-08-30 06:54:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 59,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8522941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IwriteDreams/pseuds/IwriteDreams
Summary: "Barriers.""You're not alone.""You'd better believe it.""I can't believe I found you.""I'm here to help.""what's that?""I don't know what you're talking about.""This is insane.""What happened?""This is crazy! I would do it again in a heartbeat.""I guess we'll get used to it...""Barriers..."





	1. You're Not alone

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, to those who read the original version, there have been some changes to the story. Chapter 5 is non-romantic, and Karasuma and Konami aren't as prominent. Apologies in advance for my lack of good editing, I write this trash in the wee hour of the morning, and I'm posting the first few chapters from my laptop that I won't be taking with me on a week long trip, 20 mins before heading to the airport. November has been a crazy stressful month with everything that's happened, and I'm sure in not the only one to think so, so please, from the bottom of my heart, Thank you for maybe being out there to read my shit, and I hope you're doing well. Without further ado, here is the new and improved, first story of mine ever, Barriers:

Madness. 

That’s what it was. That’s what you came for. You wanted a story with a little life in it, and here you go.

Kodrea sipped at tea, Usami was hunched before her computer, Midorikawa watched rank wars, Yuma was with Osamu, Tachikawa frowned down at his newly received bad grades. Jin puzzled over why his side effect was almost hazy, Kikuchihara and Kazama were at afternoon practice, and Konimi and Kyousuke lounged at Tamakoma. They were about to be subject to one hell of an adventure, but remember, stories start with the status quote, to emphasize the madness.

That is what you came here to read, correct?

Yousuke was playing a videogame in his apartment. It was normal for him too, he mindlessly tapped at the buttons in the bright afternoon sun that filtered through the window. It was a lazy afternoon, and he assumed that it would end the same was it had started. The same as ever. Izumi had been texting him about something that he really didn’t care about, so when his phone vibrated, he didn’t bother to grab it.

He was in the process of a long and tedious fetch quest for some elf lady, sipping at a soda can, his mind not really tied down to anything in particular, when his phone buzzed a second time.

Grumbling, he didn't assume anything of it, and was sure that if he picked it up he’d be telling Izumi to shut up and stop blowing up his phone once he saw what it was, but he looked anyways, on the small off chance it was somebody he was more keen on talking to.

[ 1 New Message, Border HQ.]  
[1 New Message, Miwa.]

That, more than anything all day, caught Yosuke's attention. It was strange really, to get a message for either, and curiosity lead his finger to unlock his phone.  
It wasn’t any kind of secret that Miwa didn’t like to talk to other people. Narasaka and Kodrea were shocked to learn that Miwa would occasionally drop him by little messages that didn’t concern business, because evidently he never did it for anybody else. Now, Yosuke had always respected Miwa when he talked to him, but after finding out that Miwa trusted him more than others, and let him in farther, he really began to cherish what he had been given, and from then on, he had put anything that Miwa ever said to him on a pedestal.

[Yosuke, Are you there? I’m so sorry, could we maybe meet at my house, soon as you can?  
That was it]. 

There was no context, no… nothing. That was all the message read, and Yosuke's mind suddenly was forced to stumble through the dark in search of an explanation. Was this as dire as it sounded?

Yosuke could only assume.

Yousuke knew his friend, and knew he would never tell him this without good reason, so it must be important, right?

Yosuke quickly opened the message from HQ, and now, it really didn’t take priority, but he was glad he looked at it, because he suddenly had the answers that he needed.

[Attention all A-rank agents:  
As you may or may not know, our engineers have been working on a long term project to create two triggers called “BARRIERS”  
They, after 4 years, have succeeded in creating these triggers, which will act as a filter to gates. It acts like a forcefield, and prevents most neighbors from entering our realm. It is a time for celebration, and we will be selecting party members for another away mission at a meeting tomorrow at 12:00pm for the placement of these triggers. 

We expect your cooperation and understanding.]

Yosuke’s heart turned to stone. 

He was aware of the project. Barriers had been a hot topic amongst Operators and engineers around HQ For the past few weeks, saying that something big had just fit into place about it, and that it may be ready soon. 

But not THIS soon.

This was what Izumi was just talking to him about, half an hour ago. He was going on and on about this, and ‘how it changed everything’. But now that wasn’t really Yosuke’s concern.

He was worried about Miwa.

Yousuke was waiting for something of this caliber to happen. Miwa had been behaving more glum than usual after a certain Border meeting the previous week. Yousuke knew something was up, but also knew Miwa was far more sensitive then he let on. Yousuke never said anything and waited for Miwa to tell him in time. However, it looked like he was too late, and the damage was done. Border was possibly falling, and Border was the center of Miwa’s universe. It was what he cared about the most.

So, of course, when Yousuke got the text he hit the ground running. He grabbed his copy of Miwa’s key, and slammed the door behind him. Miwa's house was only a few blocks away, so he sprinted there as fast as he could. His mind was buzzing, but he tried to not think about any of this to hard, or to much, like he did with any other big issue. It was far easier to deny most of it, and accept a little bit, then do it again and again, until it was over, than to face the whole reality of it at once. Unluckily, Miwa had a very hard time accepting such things, and Yosuke knew that Miwa’s mental state was about as stable as the leaning tower of Piza would be during a rate 10 earthquake.  
Yosuke bounded up Miwa’s front steps, wondering how fast he had gotten here, and what he was going to find inside. Miwa lived with his mother, but she was gone for days at a time, and Yosuke knew he was alone before he had his key jammed in the lock, and popped the door open.

The sight that greeted him was the usual grey kitchen. The slight coating of dust on the surfaces gave the impression that Miwa’s mother had been absent for a long time, and Miwa, true to form, corralled himself in his room, and didn’t associate with others, or look outside. Which, was a sad way to live, frankly. However, Yosuke acutely noted that all the blinds were drawn, and their was hardly light in the room as he quickly kicked off his shoes.

That couldn’t be good… any sign of Miwa’s returning depression never was.

"Shuji?" Yousuke called quietly, but to no avail. It didn't really matter though, because Yousuke was already racing up the steps to Miwa's bedroom. Sure enough, the hallways were dusty too, and undisturbed, everything had been in the same place for about half a month, and not a window in the house was opened. He stopped abruptly outside the door and took a deep breath. He placed his hand on the doorknob for a moment, and hesitated, frozen in fear of what he might see on the other side, when he heard a sob emitting from behind the door. Yosuke figured this was going to happen, but that still didn’t make it any easier to swallow. He heard a second, and he let the door give way and let his eyes cast themselves towards one of the more heartbreaking things he had seen in awhile.

Miwa was sitting on the edge of the bed, face in his hands. He could clearly tell Miwa had been crying for a while, he was hunched over and powerless. And even then as Yousuke stood in the doorway, awkwardly, he could clearly make out the muffled sobs, and short gasps for air. He hadn’t felt so empty… in, well, since the first invasion.  
Yosuke came to Miwa’s side in silence, at first, subtly letting him know he was there. Miwa didn’t even look up, and Yosuke enveloped him in a hug, his arms wrapping about  
Miwa tightly and securely. It still didn’t stop Miwa’s trembling and whimpering. Miwa finally gave a sign of acknowledgement, which was him grabbing back around him. Yousuke held him close, and let Miwa rest his head on his shoulder for a few minutes before finally asking what was wrong. Miwa leaned on him, and Yosuke reflected on how long it had been scene Miwa had cried. His depression had been easing up over the past few months, but it seemed as if were back in full swing.  
“Hey, hey, I saw the message…” Yosuke quietly told him.

…

No response.

Only more sobbing. 

“Hey, look at me…”

Nothing.

“Shuji, hey, hey talk to me… What’s happening? How long did you know? You won’t get any better if you do nothing…”

…

Yosuke started to rub his back in circles.

“Please… just say something for me? Anything, say anything, please… I beg you…” 

…

“Is it over?” Miwa finally forced out.

Yosuke pulled him into the crook of his neck. 

“No, Border will be fine, it’s never going to be over, it’s okay…”

“What gave you that idea?”

Yosuke frowned. Miwa was the one at all the meetings, not him. Miwa probably had more information than anybody. Maybe Miwa was right, and Border was over, but still.

“Barriers isn’t going to prevent everything, the people still need us.” He said, half convincing Miwa, half convincing himself.

“What if they don’t?”

“What kind of a stupid question is that?”

Miwa shifted. 

“We have no idea what’s going to happen…” He fumbled.

Yosuke felt Miwa’s heartbeat pounding, and Miwa still sobbed. 

“I do…” He cried. “I know…”

Yosuke felt his heart empty.

“Then tell me!”

Miwa had his face successfully buried in his collarbone, and Yosuke felt his tears soak through his shirt. He tried to form a sentence, but the start was unintelligible, and the ending never came.

“Calm down, I’m here for you… it’s gonna be okay, just… clear your mind…”

Miwa hiccuped, choking down breath. “What if we are dismissed from duty permanently?”

“That won’t happen…” Yosuke tried to sway his view. “I swear…”

“Then you’re a liar.”

“Shuji, look, even if we are safe, it won’t end like this, I promise… I’m not lying to you... “

“Who am I?”

“Pardon me?”

“You heard me.” He sobbed. “Who will I be without Border?”

Yosuke stopped. Miwa shook in his grasp, and Yosuke wished he could stay like this forever. Not Miwa, Yosuke obviously wanted him to get better, but he wished that Miwa would let him wrap him in a hug all the time, not just this once. 

Yosuke bit his lip, before he responded in a voice that had the same weight as a falling feather.

“You are whoever you want to be, but if I had any say in it, you could stay just the way you are now, if you’d like…” 

“What if that ‘me’ is worthless?”

“Then you can be the Shuji I remember from before the invasion…”

“It won’t be the same…”

Yosuke sighed, Miwa’s trebling fingers seemed to have no trouble tying his stomach into knots.

“No, no it won’t be, and that’s okay…” He whispered, once again, unsure of which of them really needed to hear that. “Sometimes we just have to change, no matter how frightening that may be.”

His words we evidently ineffective, as Miwa grabbed fistfuls of his shirt to pull him in, tears streaming down his cheeks.

There was silence for another prolonged couple of minutes. 

Miwa was practically in his lap when he tried to speak again. 

He sniffled his words, but Yosuke was truly just trying to decipher what he said, so he didn’t have to repeat himself, than how he said it. 

“It’s not properly tested.” He whimpered, sullenly. He really was shaking, which mabe Yosuke wary of his state, and Yosuke wanted Miwa to stay within his sight for the next few days.

“Obviously I want everybody to be safe, but I can’t lose you. Or the rest of the squad, I just couldn’t handle it…” He cried again, words muffled a little as his spoke into his neck.

“You’ll never lose us. I promise… Even if Border ends, which it won’t, we won’t leave you! Not for the world!” He swore, meaningfully.

“Really?” Miwa sounded skeptical. “I wouldn’t blame you for not wanting me around. I only seem to cause you trouble…”

“Of course we would stay…” Yosuke smiled, as he reached up to stoke Miwa’s hair. “You’re never trouble, you’re our friend, and we wouldn’t abandon you for anything.”

Miwa seemed to relax slightly at this, but he was still crying something awful.

He really was scared of being left for dead, but thankfully, he didn’t have to be. Miwa would never be alone again, Yosuke would make sure of it.  
Adrenaline took over.

Yosuke suddenly just… didn’t think, and bit the bullet that he had been postponing.

Miwa was so close to him, pressing up to his chest, it seemed natural to him, like an instinct. 

Yosuke retreaded a tad, before leaning back in, and laying a careful kiss on his cold lips

…

What the hell did he just do?

Miwa cringed in confusion, and his hands immediately tried to throw him off. Yousuke tore away, frozen in a state of incomprehension of the damage he had just caused.

Yousuke was turning a vibrant shade of red, and he started to tremble, while Miwa's crying had ceased at they both vainly tried to grasp what Yousuke had just done. There was a moment of silence before Yousuke finally got a grip of reality.

After great pause, he began to back up slowly, wanting to distance himself from the whole new problem on numb legs. Then increased his pace until his back hit the door of the closet. He fell to the floor and kept his eyes on Miwa.  
What the hell have I done?

The room was silent, as the last of his tears still quietly rolled down Miwa’s face, Yosuke's vision became full of water. 

Miwa knew.

Miwa now knew how Yousuke had been feeling about him. Yousuke was giving up. He closed his eyes and water spilled out.

He had told himself over and over, Miwa won’t love you, never in this way, and he knew he was right. Yosuke knew that the day Miwa found out was the day his spot on the 

Miwa squad was revoked. He was all too aware that Miwa avoided love, because the death of his sister had traumatized him into thinking that no matter what, love will only  
hurt you. 

This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen.

It was supposed to never have happened. It was supposed to have never been mentioned, brought up, or found. It wasn’t supposed to exist, this never was anything.

Yet now it was… and it was his fault. 

 

He just couldn’t seem to hold it together, he couldn’t do ANYTHING. It had just… come out, and Yosuke wished that he could reverse this, because only bad things were to come of this long stored revelation.

"I'm... I'm-I'm sorry Shuji. I'm so so sorry. I didn't mean to- I know you- I know I just- I can’t- I-”

But it was no use, no matter his struggle, it was to no avail whatsoever.

“Fine… I love you, alright? I admit it, and I’m sorry…”

Yosuke wasn't sure if he was satisfied with that… he didn’t think he would ever have the courage to say it, but in the moment, it felt like not enough… it wasn't really anything. Like somewhere along the line, it had lost all of it’s meaning.  
He hid his head behind his knees and shut his eyes. It was silent for a moment more. What more was there to say? What more could he do? Yosuke almost wanted to leave 

Miwa there alone, but he still didn’t have the heart to abandon him while he was still in tears. Also, he didn’t think he could move his legs. But surely he had to do  
something? This wasn’t going to end well, he knew, and he should probably let Miwa calm down a little bit. 

Who was he kidding? He really had fucked this up.

Yosuke was still waist deep in guilt and thought when Miwa finally spoke.

“You’ve got to be kidding me…”

It seemed like a strange thing to say, but Miwa had seemingly found his voice again, so Yosuke was ready to incur the full wrath that he deserved for all of this. Yosuke thought that he’d have rather died than be thrown into this scenario. He had just turned the future on it’s head, it was the most drastic change he could’ve made, and now nothing would ever be the same way.

Yosuke shut his eyes. He didn’t think he could bear to see Miwa… hearing him would be bad enough.

Yosuke wondered why Miwa hadn’t thrown him out of the house yet, when he hear the creaking of the mattress, and heard Miwa slowly shuffling over to him. 

Yosuke risked opening one eye when he heard Miwa standing before him, and blinked in surprize when he saw him kneeling down before him, at his eye level. More than that, he was offering Yosuke a hand to stand up.

Yosuke wasn't entirely sure what this meant, only that he shouldn't question it. Miwa was leading him now, he had given the reigns situation to him. 

Miwa pulled Yosuke up off of the floor, Miwa’s hand felt soft in his own, and Yosuke was about to speak, when Miwa cut him off.

Miwa stepped in, and his hands grabbed at the front of his shirt. He pulled himself in close, his chest pressed to Yosuke’s, he had his back to the door still.  
He nuzzled in Yosuke’s neck, having to crane upwards to do so, because Yosuke was now slightly taller than him.

Miwa had to try, Yousuke always had to be happy, and Miwa always had to be reserved. Too Miwa, that's what he depended on. He depended on Yousuke and his joyful attitude… It’s just… how it was, and Miwa wanted it to stay that way.

Maybe he was a creature of habit… maybe he just loved him to much to let him go.

Yousuke stiffened.

What?

Miwa relished there for as long as he could, finally having given into the feelings he was so ashamed about. Eventually, Miwa pulled away, and looked Yousuke in the eye for a brief moment. 

“Are you kidding me?” Yosuke whispered. Miwa shook his head, before Yosuke pulled him in again. Arms wrapped around his waist.  
His grip was strong, and Miwa tilted his head forwards, the perfect angle, and he felt Sasuke's forehead touch his own. It was hazy, and Miwa didn’t give a shit whether or not this was a dream or not.

 

Miwa's arms clutching onto Yousuke for dear life, and Yousuke was speechless, Where Miwa eventually was curled up into a vulnerable ball, snuggling into Yosuke's chest, Grabbing at the front of Yosuke's shirt Miwa cried into his friends collarbone. Yousuke brought up his knees a put his arms around Miwa. Miwa was still shaking, but Yousuke was holding him as tightly as he could.

Neither of them had a care in the world beyond what was directly before them. Shortsighted you could call it, but you could also call it perfection.  
Who even knew at this point?

The room was filled with Miwa's sobs with grew more and more quiet as time went on. Yousuke just held on as tightly as he could, caught up in this moment that he had been dreaming of. To anyone else, Shuji Miwa would be unrecognizable now. Vulnerable, whimpering, and for once, leaning and depending on somebody else. But to 

Yousuke, this was the side that was bound to be in there.

Yousuke knew how hard things were for Miwa. How Miwa was sensitive, and always cared about what others were saying about him. Yousuke knew how Miwa was always thinking he wasn't good enough, and Yousuke knew Miwa was far from perfect. But even to Yousuke, this was still an uncommon occurrence. Yousuke was always ready to help in any way he could, but even though he knew that Miwa was due to snap any day from then, it had been a long time.  
It was heart wrenching, yes, but also good for Miwa to let go every now and again. It was healthy to allow yourself to be vulnerable, that’s what it meant to be human, really.

He was not ready for how much it hurt him to see Miwa like this.

Yousuke eventually reached up and began to slowly run his fingers down the back of Miwa's head, feeling his soft hair helped Yousuke relax.

"Shh... It's gonna be ok..." Yousuke told Miwa quietly. 

"We don't know all the details, I'm sure Border will still be here..."

Miwa's trembling was slowly fading.

"I promise you, now that we're together, everything will be just fine."

…

…

…

“I know…”

“Come again?”

“You’re right… it will be fine… I guess I was just… so scared.”

“I’m right here, you don’t have to be scared. I promise you, the forcefield won’t last very long… some invader will find a way to penetrate it, I promise you… but we should  
be glad, because there will be less casualties this way.”

“I know… but Still… It’s just… a little hard to swallow.”

“What, and this whole ‘I love you thing’ Isn’t?”

“I mean… I was kinda hoping this would be true… I guess I dreamed of it so often… it didn’t seem as farfetched as it was.”

“You’re not the only one…”

“I know.”

“You’re not alone, either.”

“I know…”


	2. You'd Better Believe It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I spelled some names wrong, and I'll go back to fix that later. In the meantime, I'm sorry, but everybody calling him Torimaru didn't sound right for the chapter, and that really frustrated me, so I didn't use the nickname. Oh well.

Kyosuke believed meetings to be the most boring thing in the world. There were so many better ways you could do a meeting. Personally, Kyosuke, while holding today’s matter at the utmost importance, couldn’t begin to fathom why this damn meeting had to be dragged by it’s feet in such a tedious and time consuming fashion. 

 

Shinoda, Kyosuke loved the guy, but he was going ON and on, and he was tempted to ask if he had ever been in a broadway musical because THERE WAS NO WAY THAT SHINODA COULD GO ON THIS LONG WITHOUT A BREATH WITHOUT PRACTICE. Or at the very least, a glass of water- SOMETHING.

 

Kyosuke groaned. There were movies in theaters that were shorter than this, and Shinoda was telling them something that could’ve easily been summarized, and thrown onto, like, five pages. He got the whole ‘interaction’ thing, but this was ludicrous. Never before had an away mission speech gone on for such a long time. Kyosuke was about to get up and leave, just to see if Shinoda, who was still rambling, would even notice, when Netsuki shot him a glare as if to say, ‘I know that you of all people might have a hard time sitting still, and I can see you getting impatient, but for the love of god, every life on the planet depends on this.’

 

Natsuki had more than a 6th sense, this guy had… I dunno, like, 12. Maybe he was psychic, Kyosuke would never know.

 

He slouched back down in defeat, and decided to tune back in the conversation, just to see how close they were to finishing this. Shinoda was explaining some last detail, and Kyouse tore away from his speech, ready to die of boredom, and decided that he would only stick out the wrapping summary the director always gave at the end of the meeting to recap.

 

Kyosuke still had a lot of questions… mostly about why Shinoda couldn’t just say the recap from the start and have everybody ask questions and leave after 20 minutes, rather than forcing them to stay for 95.

 

Instead, he let his eyes wander about the table. 

 

Surrounding the black edges of the tabletop were the selected agents to pertake on the mission.

 

Jin looked mildly uncomfortable, and he looked very intent on something in the distance that nobody else could see, and Kyosuke could only assume he was praying in everybody’s social life in the future for entertainment…

 

Or blackmail fuel, it was a very thin line when Jin was involved. 

 

Tachikawa looked about as ready to burst as Kyosuke was. He was shifting, and eyeing a weary Kazama from across the table with a look that screamed ‘This is my worst nightmare, and It’ll be yours too, if you refuse to fight me after this.’

 

Kikuchihara sat beside Kazama, looking grumpy, so Kyosuke came to the conclusion that Kikuchihara was having a regular day, and was either zoning out, or listening to Shinoda’s heartbeat to tell if he was nervous. 

 

“People lie more than they realise… even if it’s a current, new fact that we all belive to be true, they know they’re lying somewhere deep down.” He’d say. “I listen to them so I can tell what’s going to go wrong.

 

Midorikawa looked as if he couldn’t care less. Yuma, however, was very intrigued with whatever they were saying. 

 

Kodrea and Usami were the only ones asking any questions… and that was to be expected, really. Those two loved adventure… and lectures. He didn’t think he would ever understand. 

 

Miwa and Yosuke also sat together. And though nobody could tell, under the table their hands were clasped together, gripping tight, hearing that it was all going to work out.

 

Kyosuke then looked at Konami, who was also selected to go. This table was the people who were allowed to participate. Less than normal, because the triggers they had made required a ton of support technology that required a lot of space. And, they didn’t want everybody gone, with Jin predicting more irregular gates in the upcoming future, and they wanted agents here for that. 

 

Only one operator, and no whole teams. Chika had already sacrificed trion to expand the ship, and with less people, they were ensured that it would be a tad more comfortable this time, though Kyosuke had his doubts. 

 

“Time for a recap.” Shinoda said, loud enough to grab his attention. Shinoda’s voice was indeed phasing the point of horse, and really, the man probably needed some water. 

 

“In two days we leave to activate ‘Barriers’ partner triggers to block out and erase trion signals. stronger neighbors could breach it, but this would end up saving thousands of lives outside Mikado, and would save thousands of worries IN Mikado. Patrols will be less regular, though you all will be payed the same… we will still need you.”

 

Kyosuke relaxed at this part. he was unsure whether or not his family could handle more cutting of corners. It was rough as is. “We can’t say how long the trip there will be… We’ll have you go through a gate to coordinates as close as we can, but the Neighborhood is huge, and you could be out there for a long time.Your trip home should be immediate, however, as a gate will take you directly back to here, as we know our location better than we do Lequis. Usami will lead you all, as she has been assisting Barrier’s creation and development, and she will be required to select one of you to help her activate it when you land. When you land, she’ll activate the first, wait for it to set, than her assistant will activate the second. You all are there to protect her as it sets up. Lequis, we've been informed, is mysterious and nasty… any questions?”

 

“...”

 

…

 

“...”

 

“Then I wish you all a good afternoon, and a safe trip…. dismissed.”

 

‘Finally…’

 

Kyosuke was the first one out the door, legs stiff, and ready to stretch out. He’d kill for a rank war, but thanks to his custom trigger, that wish was denied. 

 

Maybe one day…

 

“Hey Karasama…”

 

He turned, but already knew who it was. 

 

“Hey Konomi… what’s up?”

 

“Nothing much… just wanted to say hi, seeing as I’m gonna be shoved into some crappy, claustrophobic, enclosed space with you for an eternity.”

 

Kyosuke mused, and pointed to the door. 

 

“Did we not already do that?”

 

Konami stifled a laugh. 

 

“Hell yeah we did… god, eternity is right, and I though RINDO droned on… I’m surprised my legs even work still.”

 

“Goes both ways.” He smiled. “Hey, I’d love to talk, but I have work in a few minutes… I need to run.”

 

“I know…” Konami nodded. “Good luck… don’t forget to pack.”

 

“I won’t... thank you though…”

 

He headed towards the main entrance, because he thought the meeting was to be a little more… reasonable, he needed to get to work quick, or he’d be late.

 

However, he hadn’t so much as passed one corridor, when Jin stopped him.

 

“Yo! Karasama, hey, can I have a quick word?”

 

“Jin? I really have to-” Kyosuke tried to protest, but arguing with Jin was like arguing with a lawyer. They were trained for that, besides, Jin never would waste his time if he didn’t have somewhere to be. 

 

“Fine…”

 

“It’ll be quick… I promise.”

 

“Well, spit it out then!” 

 

“I just wanted you to know that for this away mission… It’s gonna be a little…”Jin paused, looking or the right words. 

 

“Off the script.”

 

…

 

“What’s that supposed to mean? You can literally predict the future, what are you trying to say?!”

 

“I’m telling you that I can’t do everything, and I can’t see everything, so I want you, just this once to be… ignorant to the future.”

 

“What?”

 

“... Karasama, don’t play dumb… you love to know the future, you’ve almost created a dependency on me… and I wanted to let you know that you shouldn't do that… and that for this trip, I want you to do all those things that you might be afraid to do, because the future is such a looseleaf at the moment, I can’t advise you for, or push you against any option.”

 

“I don’t understand…”

 

“The future is in your hands Karasama. It never had anything to do with me, because Your future is yours, and mine is mine.”

 

“But you can see it-”

 

“And YOU can change it… You know what I’m on about… Now, go to work.”

 

And with that, he was gone.

 

_______________

 

Konami wondered if she would ever understand men. They lied, cheated, stole, or were inconsiderate. 

 

And the nice ones were always so damn COMPLICATED, it made her want to scream.

 

It was more than a little frustrating, especially when you worked with ones who took advantage of your trust, or could see the future. 

 

These men are so hard to predict. 

 

Konami almost wanted to tell them how infuriating they could sometimes be, but hey, at the very least, held her respect, for some unknowable reason.

 

She just wanted to poke around, see if she might run into a friend. Katora… or Kako, somebody that at least made some sense, when Jin suddenly was at her heels.

 

“Hey Konami…”

 

Konami sighed, knowing he had been behind her for a minute or so.

 

“Yes Jin?”

 

“I wanted to wish you good luck on the mission.”

 

Konami stopped. 

 

…

 

“But why? You’re going with us, correct?”

 

Jin sighed. “I am…”

 

“Is something bad going to happen?”

 

“Who knows?”

 

“I’m taking that as a yes… what should I be concerned over?”

 

“... I don’t know… nothing really. Just…” Jim held his breath for a split second.

 

“Good luck.”

 

And he disappeared.

 

…

 

‘I swear to god, men are on the other side of the fucking planet.”

 

…

 

It sure felt like it.

 

________________

Konami came back to Tamakoma headquarters late. 

 

Far later than she had expected. 

 

She had run into Kako, who took her out for coffee, and they caught up about their recent misadventures, and whatever gossip they could salvage from C-rankers… (With so many of them, somebody usually saw something, and they loved to hear that shit) 

 

Konami was appalled that Kako had even ATTEMPTED to recruit Kuga, and all Kako could say was that she hadn’t softened him up enough, and that she would get him in her claws eventually. (Kako’s words, most certainly not her own.)

 

They had laughed, and Kako had agreed with Konami that men were idiots… mostly, and they promised that they really should do this more often, which they said every time, but life got hectic.)

 

Konami had slid her way through the doors, and dropped her bag. Usami looked up from a book at her arrival. 

 

“You’re back late…”

 

“I caught Kako and some coffee.” Konami responded. “Did I miss anything?”

 

“Yeah, actually… Kyosuke baked cookies, it was great to see him give Reiji’s terrain of the kitchen a try.”

 

“Did he burn anything?”

 

“No, surprisingly… they turned out pretty well…” She smiled, “I already had one, it was pretty dang good.”

 

“Oh, well that’s new…”

 

“Right? It seemed like he was actually trying… here, are you stiff? The lecture went on for a while… I could run a simulation for you, if you’d like a little training time.”

 

Konami shook her head. 

 

“Any other time and I’d say yes, but hanging out with Kako can be draining, and I’ve gotta pack, sooner rather than later, then see if I can cram in homework before we leave… do you need any help? I can’t believe you’re the only operator going with us!”

 

“I should be good, thank you… go put your stuff away, and grab a cookie!”

 

Konami obliged, dragging her bag up the steps to her room. 

 

She popped open the door, ready to crash on her bed, and procrastinate for a few minutes in a pile of blankets, and dirty, knee-high socks that were disposed there, when she saw something else.

 

A plate of chocolate chip cookies, on her bed, already waiting for her, with a small sticky note.

 

“I know you’re busy. Don’t forget to pack. ;)”

 

She smiled at the message. The cookies were still warm, chocolate still melting. 

 

She didn’t know if Kyosuke was awake, or even here, so she grabbed her phone, unlocked it and texted him.

 

“I’m not as forgetful as you, ya dork. I won’t forget. Thanks for the cookies :)”

 

Before she kicked off her shoes, and took a bite of one.

 

__________________

 

The next morning, she woke to see her room. 

 

It still looked as if a tornado had come through, but when didn’t it? She saw one remaining cookie, and a half-full suitcase, and she reluctantly sat up, knowing that she had things to be doing. 

 

She really didn’t want to be doing things, but duty calls. 

 

Jin had been acting odd, and she was offset… she deciding that that should be her goal for today. Bully Jin out of silence, because if he was concerned, or acting strange without any ludicrous, backhanded explanation… well, it was a cause for concern. 

 

She stumbled out of bed, and changes, having forgotten that she had fallen asleep in her clothes until that moment.

 

Whatever.

 

She stumbled down the steps, to see Kyosuke scanning the newspaper with dull eyes, which was another red alert for her. 

 

She knew Kyosuke well, and he only read the newspaper when he wanted other things to be thinking about, and a Kyosuke that was the tiniest bit offset, he will suddenly lose his immunity to stress, which was a horrifying thing, she knew all too well. She was more familiar with that stress and urgency than she would care to admit, and she did, in fact, feel afraid. Reiji appeared to have noticed as well, which she had already figured before hearing him subtly probing him for answers. Reiji was very sharp when it came to behavioral changes… Konami was unsure of what Reiji COULDN'T do, in all actuality.

 

He was a mad man. 

 

Yet, even Reiji looked distressed as Kyosuke appeared to be giving half, one word answers, stubbornly scanning some news article.

 

Reiji noticed Konami on the steps first, and the look in his eyes asked her if she could see what was wrong, to which she tried to silently convey that she did, indeed, understand.

 

“Hello Karasama, good morning Reiji.” She smiled. 

 

Only then did Kyosuke look up. Reiji looked semi-grateful, and semi-distraught that Konami could do what he couldn’t by walking down the steps. 

 

“Good morning Konami.” He muttered quietly. “Sleep well?”

 

He sounded tired, and she wondered what had happened during the night. This didn’t appear to be the man who had made some cookies for them all out of the good of his heart the night before, and yet, there he was.

 

Men are SO DAMN complex…

 

“Good enough… you?” 

 

Kyosuke shrugged. “It was okay?”

 

Konami slid into the seat across from him, and he had yet to look down at the paper again. 

 

“Was it really? You look tired.”

 

He huffed. 

 

“I suppose it could’ve been better, could’ve been worse. It's whatever though… I’m fine.”

 

“Oh, I know you are, it’s nothing like that.” She said, tone an assurance that he still held her upmost respect. “I was just wondering.”

 

She found her phone in her sweater pocket, and tried to keep it casual, as to not alarm him. He more likely than not knew what he was doing, but she still wanted to tone it down. 

 

“One message, Karasama”

 

…

 

“My pleasure… and I know, you’re way smarter than me… humor me, okay? Have a good night.”

 

She found herself grinning at that again, but tried to beat the feeling down. 

 

“So, what do you have today?” She asked. “Besides work, I mean.” Kyousuke looked down at his plate, but not back at his paper. 

 

“Nothing today, actually, the shop’s closed today, I gotta pack, but that’s about it.”

 

“Oh, well that’s good.” She smiled. 

 

“At least you’re not overworking yourself.”

 

“I mean, I guess…”

 

There was a silence, and Kyosuke finished his eggs quickly, his gaze awkwardly flicking about the room, and Reiji stood around uselessly, not wanting to break the silence.

 

However, as Kyosuke stood up, and mumbled a small “I should start that packing.” His paper was left, not another sentence having been read.

 

_________________

 

Kyosuke half packs, and hardly sets a pencil to his mountain of homework before 4:00pm. Where the hell did his dedication go? If he had work today, it would’ve been messy. 

 

Really, was he so pathetic, as to let some generic thoughts prevent him from work? It was upsetting to him, that he couldn’t attempt to put the notion away of Konami… in general. 

 

Yes, he had a crush on her… this infatuation wasn’t sudden, nor very prominent. It was a mere afterthought. Something healthy to indulge in in small doses, but never to much, because he couldn’t afford to waste his life on some dumb girl. Well, Konami was more than that. She was a friend just as much as she was any type of love interest. She was the kind of friend you’d fight for, or bake cookies when you wanted to be kind. She was the friend that would help share the responsibility, and help in any way they can, even if you might not be all that similar. 

 

Kyosuke actually took that back. The two of them were plenty alike, they just never necessarily capitalized on that idea. 

 

Either way, she was meant to be a support. Something to keep him from crumbling. Not something that’s gonna take him down. Not somebody who’ll help drag his feet in the sand. 

 

That wasn’t going to help him. 

 

His suitcase, still missing many essentials, was daunting, and all this homework was floating in one ear and out the other. 

 

He had been wondering when the time would come.

 

Intent and love were feelings that grew because you let them, and Kyosuke was very good about not letting those things simmer. He simply- didn’t have time for then. Need he reiterate that Konami was somebody to help lift the weight, not burden the gravity that pulled him down to the reality that resistance was futile anyways. 

 

It looks like he might’ve tipped a hand in too deep, and it looks like his walls were finally falling. He was impressed. 

 

It took a lot to get any emotion from him at all.

 

It also was impressive he had held out against Konami for so long. 

 

A victory on both sides, he would say. 

 

The point still stood, however, that he was now in hot water, and he was actually falling for her. 

 

It was inevitable, and he had been counting off his last days of freedom from the grip of love. He wouldn’t lie… It was intimidating. 

 

He couldn't rid the thought from his mind. It clung on with fierce claws, and blocked out the urgency he felt in staring down unfinished business. He was so dissatisfied with himself, somehow, the hours had slipped away, and little was accomplished?

 

It wasn’t a de-stress thing either, in fact, staring at the work he had yet to do, and not being able to work only made it worse. This was a wreck.

 

He slumped on his bed in defeat, knowing that he should probably relax a little, before coming back to his work, when he heard a small tapping on his door.

 

Kyosuke, already fearful for who it was, gripped at his sheets.

 

“Come in.”

 

His door opened cautiously to see, to nobody’s surprise, Konami.

 

“Hey, what’s up?” He asked. He wanted to get this over quick. 

 

Konami took a single step into the room, and just shuffled her feet. 

 

“You haven't come out all day, and you missed lunch, so I brought you some dorayaki. I guess I just was worried we haven't hear from you…” She paused for a solid second before “You don’t look to good, are you sure that everything’s okay?”

 

Kyosuke just frowned. 

 

“Yeah… I mean, I should be fine… my attention is slipping though, and I think I’m just stressing myself out more.”

 

“I see…” Konami nodded, handing the lukewarm plate to him. “You seemed rather… out of form this morning too.”

 

“Did I really?”

 

“Uh-huh…” She nodded. “Is there anything I can do to help? Take over Osamu’s practice today? Bring you a cookie? I dunno… something?”

 

He frowned. “I really appreciate the offer, but there's nothing you can really do. You know… It’s like that sometimes… you get me, right?” 

 

“I mean… I guess… kinda frustrating though…”

 

“Yeah, I’m sorry, but I’ll manage somehow. Maybe I just need to step away from it all for a bit, and train or something. Something more fun…”

 

“Training? Oh! Wanna go?! I’ll fight you!”

 

“Right now?”

 

“After you eat that lunch of yours, dummy.” She smiled. 

 

“Honestly, you get so ahead of yourself. There’s no winning any race angest yourself, slow down.”

 

“Is this news to you?”

 

“No, you just do it all the time.”

 

“You’d better believe it.”

 

“Oh, I do.”

 

_________________

 

They fought for a little while, and Kyosuke could feel his attention span shrinking even more so, yet couldn’t find it in himself to stop.

 

This was such a nice, easy and clean way to spend time with her. Bonding, moving as one, fighting with one another, fighting opposed to the other, fighting for another, it was really all three if you thought about it hard enough. There was no talking, just fighting. There wasn’t silence either, just competitive spirit, and the adrenaline that still ran through them as their blades clashed, and meet. 

 

Usami was always jumping at a chance to be helpful, even though with the upcoming mission, she had more than enough on her plate. Kyosuke would’ve helped her with the work if he could’ve, that’s simply how the Tamakoma 1 operated, but you need to care for yourself before you can care for others.

 

When he gets back to his room, suddenly the crippling nervousness and affection he felt crawling in his lungs, lessons from his windpipe, and he feels as if maybe he is a little more focused at the moment. Or so he thought. 

 

He is tired, but he feels loose, and like it was a good choice, which he’ll say he’s proud of. Any good choice was appreciated. When it came to these kinds of days, it’s the key to victory, and needs rewarding.

 

In a few minutes, he’s already called down for dinner, but at least he got to hang out with Konami, and finish packing his suitcase.

 

He’ll count it as better than nothing. 

 

______________________________

 

The night comes in a haze. Konami can’t bring herself to admit that a certain somebody has been knocking her already toppled list of priorities askew. 

 

It’s not as if it was any big deal… she just… didn’t know what was happening. 

 

She was ready for the mission, but her good study habits were fading as her mind wandered where it pleased. It had been rocky.

 

To say the least.

 

She wasn’t entirely sure what she thought of the whole thing… just that she was generally confused. It was like time had come to a halt, and the only thing in motion was the clock, no longer tracking the time, only spinning in a circle.

 

Konami sighed.

 

She got spacey when she was confused.

 

It just… happened.

 

Whatever the reason, she looked onto her bed, and saw a letter there. It had slid under her door a few minutes prior, and she was getting jittery and nervous just looking at it. She didn’t know what the inked contents would entail, but it would be drastic. 

 

She didn’t even know who put it there. But something seemed off. It was slightly intimidating, It’s envelope blank, right corner unintentionally folded. 

 

Konami had a sneaking suspicion that Jin was involved, because let’s be honest, if you have somebody who can see the future, don’t trust him as far as you could throw him, right?

 

And yet, Konami believed him. She would believe anybody.

 

She stared at the letter for a while longer.

 

She would open it when she was ready. It couldn’t hurt to wait, she should be well prepared.

 

She looked over a half empty cup of cold tea that had steeped for far too long, before picking it up by the cold handle and taking a small sip. It was bitter, but she didn’t mind. Anything to keep herself awake.

 

She saw the last of her cookies out of the corner of her eye on her desk.

 

She set down the mug. It was strong, she had forgotten about it as it steeped, and the taste clung to her tounge stubbournly. She would finish it, but slowly. The cookies were good, and she reached out for it without a second thought.

 

Maybe she would read it now after all.

 

Something in her gut told her to be weary of it, but she decided that she should go for it, before the dread wore a hole through her heart and mind.

 

___________________________

 

Dear Konami,

 

I’ve written this letter so many damn times I’ve lost count. Dozens of times over the years, and none of them were quite right, because over these years, we’ve changed so much, the first time I wrote this letter to you, it would hardly apply to you.

 

It’s still the same message, and yet, It’s so different, every time I feel like it’s time to write you this letter, It’s never quite what I intend, and I know something's wrong, and I’ll try again in a few weeks.

 

If you’re reading this, It’s a miracle, believe me, my garbage is full of different variations of this letter.

 

I guess that you’ve probably caught on if I have the courage to ever hand this to you. I don’t know how other guys do this.

 

The point is, is that I really like you.  
More than a friend, I mean.

 

It’s hard to really put it into words, and my record of failed attempts should probably reflect that. 

 

In all my other attempts, I go on and on, but I am wrong. It’s really that simple. It’s not some earth shattering reveal.

 

Take from this what you will, and please speak your mind.

 

Thank you.

 

Karasama

 

_________________________

 

Jin strode down the hall. 

 

‘All in a good day’s work.’

 

And Jin knew very well that maybe rummaging in other people’s drawers for letters that were meant for their eyes only wasn't ethical, but who even cared.

 

The future was out of reach, and Jin relished in the unexplained absence of foresight.

 

Whatever his clear mind meant, it was promising.

 

He knew what he’d done, but he felt that only good things would come of this. 

 

Karasama would have his ass on a stick by the end of the night, he was sure. But who cared?

 

Jin had good feelings about this.

 

Feelings.

 

No future.

 

And you’d better believe it.


	3. Echo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY. So I've been traveling a ton, and NaNoWriMo is already kicking my ass, so I did very minimal changes to this chapter, meaning: IT'S CRINGEY AF BUT I'M SO STRESSED AND EXHAUSTED AND I KNOW THAT NOBODY READS MY STORIES AND I'M POSTING THIS OUT OF SPITE SO I DON'T EVEN CARE ANYMORE.
> 
> ...
> 
> :(

It was a chilly day, and the wind rushed through everything in a casual, never ending race. Kikuchihara cast his ears as far as they would go, but as all the sounds of the city overcame him, he didn't hear the one person he wanted to hear the most.

 

Kikuchihara didn't want to think to hard about what exactly he was doing, he didn't want to think at all. That would ruin the whole thing. There was the resounding noise of countless footsteps, by couples and lenders alike, the creaking of opening a news box, for somebody to grab the daily paper. There were the flashing of street lights changing color, and the city was alive with chatter and the opening of rusty shop doors.

 

Everybody would always ask him what it was like to have this kind of a side effect… but Kikuchihara, thought he never did, was always wondering what it would be like to NOT have it. Would he not be able to hear the echoes coming from the bustle? Would he not hear the police sirens from 2 miles South? Would he be deaf to the falling pots and pans from 3 blocks behind him? Who knows? He couldn't imagine NOT being able to hear it, so maybe the others might be able too as well.

He walked down a few more blocks slowly, his sweater doing very little to block out the cold rush of wind that bluntly hit him head on. The city was loud, and bustling Kikuchihara noted as the noise radiated through his head. It was a big city, and there was little hope in finding who he was looking for, had he not been told a lead, but as he emptied his mind of thoughts, and let the sound fill him instead, he wasn’t thinking too hard about it. 

 

Being able to hear such things was a gift as much as it was a curse. His ears had grown accustomed to hearing everything so loudly, so that wasn’t any issue. However, if you hear more, you hear it all. You hear people fighting in the alleyways, and you hear managers screaming and swearing at new employees. He could hear friends arguing, and sometimes, if he passed through neighborhood a few other not so great things from inside the homes. Family arguments, wife beaters, and then, of course, at night… other things, that were less awful, and more unsettling. And distasteful. But here in the city, right now, it was just an overload… which, he’ll admit, for him, wasn't much better. He did know better than to turn up his hearing all the way, but he was getting a little desperate.

He still didn't hear Kazama.

Finally, that realization broke his reality. He WAS looking for him. Not in a weird stalker-ish way… just… 

 

He really wanted to see him.

"What am I doing?"

‘It’s not like I’m jealous… I just wanted to make sure he’s okay…. That’s all…

 

…

 

That’s all…

 

It was a lie, and he knew that well. He did want to see him, but he really wished that Kazama was anywhere else… preferably somewhere where Kikuchihara could see him… just to have him there… just to complain to him for a little while about the things that he didn’t really care about. ‘No amount of wishful deniability is going to change the facts…’ Kikuchihara scowled, before kicking a pebble that had rest on the sidewalk as hard as he could, as he listened to it skip across the pavement.

 

It really was hopeless. Kikuchihara was about to spit, or swear, but some kids were running past him, and Kikuchihara decided he had the decency not to do so. He resumed walking. He let himself to listen to the wind, and hear a little rain in the distance… well, not really the distance, but a few blocks behind him… and he really only heard the crowds commenting on it, and grumbling. He walked to the next crosswalk, ending the dreary, common-day city block there, and contained his hearing. The city noises faded out. He tried to pull a 180° and block out the world as he finally gave up.

"I'm hopeless..."

Suddenly, without honing in all on the happy laughter, and teasing jokes between comrades. the world seemed rather sad and dark. Cold, too. He supposed though… that was his own fault.

 

Kikuchihara hated himself for having feelings for his leader, he knew there was practically NO chance of Kazama even remotely liking him that way. Now that Kikuchihara thought about it, it was impossible. Why did he have to care if Kazama never would? It just didn't seem fair. Kikuchihara tried time and time again to beat down those feelings, but for some reason, he just couldn't give up on them. Maybe this was his punishment for being so insensitive, so naive. The guilt plagued him whenever Kazama set foot in the room, but he couldn’t shake the intensity of his heart. After being a pessimist for a couple of minutes, Kikuchihara decided that maybe he should find out where he was. He had been lost in his head for a while, aimlessly walking through the lively city. Fully aware this time, Kikuchihara guilt fully extended his hearing to its maximum, looking one last time for Kazama.

"I'm just curious..."

He didn't search for long, then decided that it shouldn't be.

 

Just as he was tuning out though… he heard it.

 

He hears him. 

 

He stopped dead… he hadn’t actually thought he’d find him… but no, he heard him, he was certain. 

 

But something was ari. That much, he was sure of. Before he heard Kazama S voice… again, clear as day…

 

“Why…?”

 

Kikuchihara hung back in stride for a moment. Kazama was the block diagonal to him. He could see him, and his date. They were at an outdoor standing table. It seemed causal, only the Kazama was backing away. Kikuchihara felt some alarms going off at that, Kazama’s body language was not promising, and his…

 

…

 

..date, seemed to be… unaffected.

 

Kazama was shaking his head, and Kikuchihara strained to make his words more than a whisper that barely picked up, amongst the rest of the bustle.

 

“Was this what you had planned from the start?”

 

Betrayal rang in his voice, and Kikuchihara immediately got a grasp on the situation they were in. 

 

He heard her say “And what if I did? It’s not like you can change anything now…”

 

Kazama was walking away, and Kikuchihara heard his hoarse voice make out the words of “I should've known.”

 

…

 

_______________________

 

Kikuchihara jaywalked across the street. He was moving fast, so thankfully no cars bleared their horns, the noise of a car horn always shredded his eardrums apart. The bustle was never ending, and as K Uchihara walked towards that bitch, he picked up on all the conversation he’d pass.

 

“But it’s in season, It’s so nice!” He heard a girl say with her friends in toe.

 

A child was googling at something 

 

Did this whore think that he was going to let this slide?

 

Granted, she had no idea what she was now in for as Kikuchihara came up behind her.

 

He didn’t know her personally, but Kikuchihara was prone to outbursts of impulsive violence. A small, teeny, tiny little hindrance…

 

sort of.

 

“The Fuck was that?”

 

_____________________

 

Kikuchihara walked away. He didn’t intend to cause a scene, but what could he say, really? He got crazy possessive, and that motherfucker had it coming. 

 

He didn’t regret that punch to her gut.

 

He didn’t want to be proud of it either though, so he walked on by, and tried to forget about it. Many people were looking at him funny from across the street, looking anxious, to which he didn’t blame them. Violence wasn’t the best way to settle things in any means, but sometimes, it was his instinct, and Kikuchihara was to lazy to fight those. 

 

He hadn’t hit THAT hard anyways, and she was to shocked to do anything before he had already stalked off, following Kazama’s direction.

 

Kikuchihara wasn’t happy that those were his automatic reactions to situations as this, and he really wished that he had a sense of a level head, but he didn’t. 

 

There wasn't much he could do now… Oh, if he could turn back time. He needed to find his friend.

Kikuchihara set off at a dead run, now having found a reason to see the team's leader. An awful reason. What would he do? If he did know, where would he be? What if he didn't? Kikuchihara's hearing was fully extended as he sped down the block, attempting to cover as much ground as possible. Eventually, he slowed down and tried to think clearly. He reached out, listening intently for every last water droplet, for every sliding zipper, every animal noise, every vibrating cell phone, every speech, every passive aggressive grumble, every footstep, and every echo.

Something echoed.

Kikuchihara skidded to a halt as he heard it again. A large group was walking in front of an alleyway, their footsteps drowning out most noise in that direction, but the echoes were hitting something Kikuchihara couldn't see. 

 

What WAS that?

 

Kikuchihara held his focus, before determining that the noise was exactly what he was after, and jaywalked again, because breaking such a passive law didn’t really concern him all that much. 

The group passed, and Kikuchihara heard something else this time coming from the alleyway. Something he really didn't want to hear. Crying.

Kikuchihara then realised that Kazama had his trigger on him, and if he didn't want to be seen he would have activated Chameleon. He would be somebody to do that. Kazama, like himself, was also subject to terrible, spontaneous ideas. Unlike him, Kazama made a situation better at the cost of his own sanity, and Kikuchihara tolled the situation to gain his sanity back. Two very different approaches.

Finally slowing, Kikuchihara stood at the entrance of the cavernous, dark nook. He quickly retracted his hearing, because he could now hear Kazama loud and clear from where he was standing. Besides, there was nothing outside these worn, cement-chipped walls that concerned him anymore anyways. Not daring to do anything to drastic or startling, he simply called out the name of his leader. "Kazama?"

The name echoed between the brick walls over and over, and sweetly resounded in Kikuchihara's head as well. "Kazama?" Kikuchihara repeated again even quieter, to match the relieved sound waves.

Only a small sniffle came as a reply. But Kazama was kidding himself now. Kikuchihara had found him, and there was no way in hell he was mistaking him for a rodent living between weeds and trash cans.

Kikuchihara lowered down by the wall, and slowly reached out, holding his breath, until his hand finally came into contact with his leader's shoulder. His hearing never lied to him, it was among the few things he would trust in this backwards world. The illusion of his invisibly broken, Kikuchihara saw his partner, his leader, his friend, Kazama, curled up, silently trembling and breaking down. All alone. For a moment, Kikuchihara noted that this was the first time he had ever seen Kazama cry. It simply wasn't an action you would link to the hardened, short and respectable leader that he was. Kikuchihara wondered if this was always what happened when he was sad, crying all alone, because someone would think less of you if they saw you doing it. Maybe Kazama was afraid that if he showed this, he'd go soft. Kikuchihara wondered why those thought would even root in his head. He could see it happening, but he really wished that just for ONCE Kazama would see though his own foolishness, and maybe think for himself. It’s as if he was born without feeling any sense of self preservation.

Kazama hid his head behind his knees, still crying, one of his most hated things. Looking weak, or being weak in front of others. Eventually looked up to see who it was, and seemed very surprised to see Kikuchihara standing before him. Kikuchihara was surprised too, but for all the wrong reasons as he stared down at his red-eyed teammate, his heart aching. He wrapped his arms around his love with no hesitation. Kazama would have jumped if so much else hadn't been on his mind. Or maybe he was just lucky. Kazama was still caught off guard as the young boy took him into his arms. Kazama still hadn't said anything, and he wondered why the scene unfolded in silence, if one of them had incredible hearing. Kikuchihara's embrace was warm and firm, the kind Kazama always got lost in. He felt the tears streaking down his face, leaving a cool, wet trail behind them.

When Kazama tried to say something at last, Kikuchihara murmured a soft-hearted "I know, I know, you don't have to say a word" Kikuchihara's grip tightened, and he pulled Kazama even deeper into his arms. Feeling welcomed, Kazama closed his eyes and reached his arms around the listener's waist, and hung on. Kikuchihara wasn't prepared for that. He was prepared for Kazama to push him away, claiming that he was "fine", not for him to welcome his gesture of care. Dumbfounded, Kikuchihara felt even worse now, secure grasp on his loved one or not. Kazama must be absolutely torn apart to do that. The teen felt his voice catch and tangle up in his throat. Maybe he was too caring, or over protective, or maybe too sympathetic. Either way, he felt like his world had fallen apart, right along with Kazama's.

Kazama couldn't stop it, he tried, oh, he tried, but no matter how hard he wished, he was still sobbing after what must have been 5 minutes in Kikuchihara's arms. His arms still gripping back, the red eyed boy clung to the only person that could possibly get through to him at that moment. "Kikuchihara deserves better than me..." Kazma thought without question "I'm honestly just a burden." However, he felt as if he never wanted to let go, the brunette's arms were too welcoming, and the boy himself was too kind. Kazama wondered why his partner would even bother with him like this, he knew Kikuchihara hated weaklings, and now that's probably what he thought of Kazama. Though, Kazama accepted the comfort anyway. Still sniffling a bit, Kikuchihara took his leader by the back of his head, and brought Kazama into the crook of his neck, to both of their surprise.

Swept up by the moment, or maybe just not thinking, he began running his fingers through Kazama's hair. It was soft, and ruffled up, at the gesture however, it almost automatically went silent. Nothing moved other than Kazama's trembling self, Kikuchihara's hand, and a single blackbird that flew over head, in a crooked manner. Kazama's breath finally got more and more stable as he was practically surrounded by Kikuchihara, and he hoped that the tears now dampening Kikuchihara's shoulder where the last. He retreated his arms away for Kikuchihara's waistline, and let himself reach for Kikuchihara's neck instead. The teen's eyes widened as Kazama gripped him higher up, and he felt his face grow warm. "No! No, it's just a sign of friendship, nothing more" Kikuchihara scolded himself, but he still couldn't help but get his hopes up even higher. Kazama reluctantly removed the arms he had draped over his friend, and Kikuchihara removed his after a few more moments.

"How did you know?"

"Know what?"

"What was happening, and where to find me? How did you know what-"  
Kazama's voice caught, and his breath hitched again, and Kikuchihara's hands flashed out to hold Kazama at his shoulders as a reflex. "... What happened..." Kazama finished, sadly.

Well. Of course Kazma just started by asking all the hard questions.

 

Kikuchihara paused in doubt. There was no way to tell the truth, and not have it sound creepy as fuck. He immediately took a rain check on everything he had been doing. 

"Well, I mean, uh… I was getting a little freaked out from all by the loud noises in the city, and I was heading back to my car when I heard you guys…”

 

‘Smooth’ He scolded himself, the dishonesty oozing from his words. ‘Fuck it.’ And he released Kazama.

It suddenly felt cold outside without Kazama's body pressed against his. Kazama, still wiping away tears, then gazed bashfully at his partner, and all that came out of him was an almost inaudible:

"Thank you."

It was a wonder Kikuchihara heard it, good ears or not, because Kazama had a very hard time saying these things. More often than not, Kazama tried to avoid the need to say something of that manner entirely. The raven haired attacker looked down at his feet shyly. Kikuchihara matched his bashful and humble expression by quietly nodding, closing his eyes and telling Kazama "Yeah, don't mention it..."

 

He briefly prayed that his cheeks weren't as red as they felt. They were practically on fire. Kazama couldn't keep that small voice in his head IN his head any longer. "Kikuchihara, I was wondering..." Kazama self-consciously began. "Yes?" "well-l..." Kazama stammered.

Kazama threw his arms right back around Kikuchihara and brought him in, rewarding him with an adorable little *squeak* from behalf of the younger boy.

"Really, I want to thank you."  
"What?"  
"Thank you so much."

Silence.

And then, "But, what did I do?" Kazama tightened his grasp on the younger boy. 

"Where would I be right now if you hadn't shown up? And no, not just today, but in general. Where would I stand in Border? Who would have taken your place? Probably someone who isn't as talented. Or nice..."

For some unexplained reason, Kazama had been thinking more and more about Kikuchihara, and what he had done from them. Kazama just couldn't get it out of his mind. Kikuchihara appeared to be flawless. Well, maybe he was arrogant, rude and prideful, But he wasn't one to talk...

"If I hadn't shown up?" The brunette considered out loud.

"I'll tell you, but, uh, don't ever repeat this, ok?" Kikuchihara muttered, slightly embarrassed. "Ok..." Kikuchihara shuffled his feet. "Well, I probably would have gone crazy, or I would be the most introverted person you would ever know. I mean," his face grew even more warm as he admitted "you're my only friends...."

"What?" The thought had never crossed Kazama's mind. Kikuchihara was foul, rude, aggressive, and possibly intimidating, but his friends were the most important things in the world to him, so maybe Kazama had just always thought that he made friends easily. 

Evidently, he didn't.

Kazama was about to ask why he didn't know this 'till now, but Kikuchihara silenced him as he grabbed back around his leaders waist, making his heart feel light and airy. "Honesty Kazma, you worry too much. I am here for you, and i'm not the one we should be worried about here." Kazama nodded, letting himself be taken care of by someone else for once. It felt odd, having somebody else help you like this... Kazma reflected. Or Maybe i'm just not used to it... To Kikuchihara's delight, Kazama didn't want to let go, using this as an excuse to himself, Kikuchihara held Kazama close to his heart, and honed in on the sound of the others. 

Fast.

Was Kazama excited? Why? The teen didn't have a clue. He mentally slapped himself. Idiot! Don't get your hopes up over something that is hopeless! But he couldn't help it. It was too easy to do, with someone like Kazama.

Kikuchihara didn't know how much time had passed, but it had least been 20 minutes of simply holding Kazama. Then again, he couldn't be 100% sure, since the only outside noise he heard was the screech a lonesome bird. Eventually, Kikuchihara remembered that Kazama had defense duty. 

"Hey Kazama?"

"Hmm?" The red eyed leader softly groaned in response. 

"How about I take over for you on defense duty today, alright?" Kazama finally let go, Kikuchihara's arms still wrapped around his neck as he retreated back. "No Kikuchihara, thanks to you I should be fine, you don't have to..." The brunette shot him a glance. "Consider it off your schedule" He forcefully insisted. Kazama let him be stubborn just this once, grateful that Kikuchihara had found him. 

"Thanks for this again..." Kazama worried that he might be sounding like a broken record at this point, but it had to be said. Never before had the two been so close, to Kikuchihara, it was rather exciting.

"Yeah, don't mention it... Well, I better head to the base now then, do you need anything else?" Kikuchihara's humbleness took him by surprise, and Kazama. The leader shook his head. "Nope, I should be alright. Though, seriously, where would I be without you?" Kazama mumbled, shaking his head. "Somewhere a lot less pleasant." The other boy responded, trying to get back in touch with his usual cocky self. "Yeah, I suppose..."

"Once i'm done I'll come find you, ok?" Kazama sighed "Kikuchihara, I can-" the look the younger boy was shooting at him silenced the smaller one. "Fine. Just to check in, if it really makes you feel better." Kazama huffed, sounding annoyed. "Knowing that my captain is doing alright physically and mentally after such a crappy day would make me feel better. See you soon" Kikuchihara waved as he walked off. His crush probably needed some space anyway, so did he, to tell the truth. Kikuchihara walked away feeling light headed, and shamefully noted that he had fallen even deeper in love with Kazama. For the first time, Kikuchihara could see that he too, was as human as him.

 

___________________________

On the way back to headquarters however, he didn't seem to get much space. Or alone time. His thoughts were plagued by Kazama, and his imagination took him away. To the adorable places that made him blush into his sweater, and to places that he'd rather not say out loud. It became apparent to him that his secret would not hold for much longer, to his despair.

 

What the hell had gotten into him?

Kikuchihara was more than just a little disappointed in himself for even letting his mind wander the tiniest bit. What was the point of wishing, when the outcome was impossible, and out of your control anyways? He wanted it so badly, but he knew it would only end up hurting him more in the end. 

 

But when was the end, REALLY?

Only one thing would pull him out of his thoughts of shame and love.

A small blackbird.

 

Kikuchihara only noticed it because it was so out of the blue. As if opening his eyes for the first time in a few minutes, he looked about and saw it in another small alley to his left.

It's pathetic crow sounds like a small whimper, or a cry for help, and the screech echoed off the nearby ally walls. It's wing looked burned and crooked, and his foot was caught under a rock.

"That poor thing…”

Checking to see if anyone was around, Kikuchihara kneeled down beside the bird, and removed the rock off it's trapped leg. The bird stopped whining as he helped it stand up, and inspected it's wing. It was dislocated. The bird however, had a mind of it's own, and once it could move again, it thought it was fine. Leaving an almost grateful nuzzle of sorts to Kikuchihara's hand, it refused help, and skipped away on it's still bad leg. Kikuchihara couldn't reach it. The bird refused help, and probably never had been offered it anyway. To Kikuchihara though, the bird seemed really sad hobbling off.

The sky seemed so out of reach.

 

__________________________

Kazama lay beneath the tree, legs outstretched, pressing his back to the rough bark, closing his eyes, attempting to relax. He was glad that his day wasn't ruined, and he had his chance to stand back on his feet. Having a friend like Kikuchihara, really was a blessing. Thinking of him made him feel even calmer as the bottom of the sun tapped the hills in the distance before brushing lower in the sky. Today would soon be in the past. Thank heavens.

"Hey"

Kazama started out of his thoughts. "When did you get here?" he hadn't even decided whether that should have stayed in his head or not, by the time he blurted it out. So much for staying cool.

"Just now, obviously." Kikuchihara smarted, looking down at him.

 

“Looks like you’re old self is up and running again, huh?”

 

“I dunno, maybe up and lazily power walking… running takes too much effort.”

 

“Yup, that’s definitely you… so, what’s up?”

 

"Just checking in to make sure you doing ok, I didn't mean to startle you."

Why was Kikuchihara being polite?

"Yeah, i'm doing alright, Thanks too you." Kazama mumbled, causing the other's cheeks to go slightly pink. The small attacker turned his gaze back to the sunset. The Sun's lower areas where slowly being dipped into the earth on a backdrop of gold.

Kikuchihara shifted his weight, knowing what was to come.

 

…

 

Kikuchihara was holding his breath. 

"Good to hear... Kazama, can I show you something?" He probed. Not removing his gaze from the sky, now turning a wonderful spectrum of pinks, Kazama shrugged. "Yeah, alright, shoot" 

 

"Here we go..."

 

"Alright, one second..." Kikuchihara swiftly darted behind a huge patch of trees, out of sight. And then faded from sight, wondering if his immense blush would show through.

__________________________

What was he even doing?

Every step was one closer to failure. Kikuchihara knew that. Failure was inevitable. In position now, he took a moment to realize this the last opportunity to turn back. The thought was one he didn't even consider. He didn't want to. Convincing himself he deserved this, at least once, he made his move. 

 

He did deserve this right?

 

:literally, nothing here would go in his favor, but after today, Kikuchihara didn’t give a shit, besides, if Kazama could get over that girl so fast, so could he. Call it ‘inspiration’, but now was the time to brazen out his fate.  
____________________ 

Kazama first felt something brush his cheek, and he dismissed it as the wind.Then something more firm rest on the side of his face, something soft. Suddenly, something was pressed against his lips. This time he wasn't as lucky, he jolted as the hands grabbed at the back of his head, Pulling him in. after a moment of shock, Kazama reached out and broke the illusion, and his heart skipped a beat.

Kikuchihara leaned over him, head in his hands, his lips connecting with Kazama's. It was soft hearted, pleasant, and possibly a tad rushed. It was enough. Kikuchihara broke away, breathless, suddenly wishing he had considered turning back. It was a quick kiss, more of a peck really, but it was enough. Kikuchihara face couldn't have gotten more red. Kazama's face was one of absolute Bewilderment. Never losing his smarting attitude, Kikuchihara eventually smirked and mumbled a "Glad to see your doing alright"

Kazama was jerked out of his temporary daze, and he stole himself to do something he had only dreamed of for a long time. Both of them still out of air, Kazama reached for Kikuchihara's neck, and pulled him back in. Their lips connected, and Kazama truly relaxed into this. Why he ever considered being together with someone else was now a mystery to him. Kikuchihara's lips fit perfectly with his, as did Kikuchihara's hands. deepening the moment, Kikuchihara grabbed at Kazama's waist, and pulled him in.

Simply staying connected was enough to get Kikuchihara excited, but it somehow got even better as Kazama tested his Bounds by briefly swiping his tongue over the teens mouth. He gasped and finally pulled away, it was to good to be true, but it was. Kazama pulled Kikuchihara forward, until he was on top of him. Taking a moment to continue processing the scene before him, Kazama hesitated before pulling his crush down into his arms. before turning him over to playfully roll him down the hill, Kikuchihara didn't let go however, and the two of them tumbled down like children, hand in hand carefree.

_______________________ 

Kikuchihara walked home alone. He was positive he was still red faced, even after a few hours, but it really didn't bother him all that much at that time. 

Kazama loves me...

He couldn't quite get that though his head then. He is mine...

For once in his lifetime, he could block out the rest of the world's outside noises with ease. How strange.

A small blackbird.

Kikuchihara froze. The bird look sad, depressed even. It held out it's broken little wing to Kikuchihara, as if begging for his kindness once more. It looked like it was done pretending it was alright. coming to terms with reality. Not bothering to look around, Kikuchihara keeled down by the bird and quietly whispered in his ear, "Shh... this won't hurt for long... I hope..." Kikuchihara pressed down on the wing hard and released it after he heard a crack, pop, and a crow. The bird was still in pain, but looked satisfied that it was over. Squawking once to Kikuchihara, he finally flew free, and Kikuchihara walked home, feeling like the happiest man alive. Not that anybody would have the privilege of knowing that. 

 

Deniability and happiness echoes in his head for miles.

_____________________

It was a cold morning in the outdoor central plaza of Border. An early one to boot, as the squads for the final away mission were in place. Director Kido was discussing something with Usami. Kikuchihara scowled. Then he picked up on something interesting. For once he redirected his gaze faster then his ears to the Miwa squad, noting that Narusaka wasn't going, where he saw Miwa and Yoneya standing awfully close, whispering. Having a side effect like his, Kikuchihara was a nosey person, and decided to listen in on their conversation. 

"Look, you're gonna do fine Shuji, I promise, and I'm here with you now..." Yoneya was whispering in an uncharacteristically soft tone. "I'm not leaving you behind for anything, ok?" Miwa looked down. "Yeah, alright. Thanks Yosuke..." Kikuchihara wasn't really one to hang out with them, but something struck him as odd when he saw Miwa reach for Yoneya's hand. 

Not quite understanding, and deciding that he had been nosey enough, Kikuchihara tuned out of the conversation as abruptly as he joined it. Not a moment passed before one last thing caught his attention.

Konami was giggling. "what?" she laughed. "Aww... Kyousuke, your too cute!" Kikuchihara blinked, since when did Konami use his real name? "It's not cute, I just, don't want anyone to really know..." he mumbled. 

Commander Kido stood up, and the squad immediately feel silent. Not that it mattered, because Kikuchihara had heard enough of their conversation to know what was up. 

"Everyone," Commander Kido's voice boomed, commanding everyone's attention. 

"Welcome to the final away mission."


	4. (Un)Reliable (IN)Sanitiy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His slid his hand into Jin's and pulled him towards an exit.
> 
>  
> 
> "We'll both be (un)reliable and (in)sane before you know it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and me have some history. It was the longest project I had ever done at the time, and it was hard, and when it was done I was almost proud, but mostly sick of it. I'm still a little sick of this story, and I gave up editing the last few padges, yu have no idea how many times I've been reading the same damn sentences. Again, a comment will really help me know if anybody's reading this, even if it just says 'hello' or is you plugging your own stories. I don't care. Enjoy anyways. :)

Empty.

 

Blank. 

 

It was a lack of contents, a lack of everything. A lack of reasoning, a lack of explanation, a lack of warning. He was doing nothing out of the ordinary when suddenly, it was all gone. He knew it was wrong, and he knew that nothing good would come out of this, but sudden jars of reality like this were reserved for children's stories, and the real world would always be run on a set track of rules. Something so peculiar and influential just… disappearing, it didn’t just happen.

 

So what the hell was it?

 

He avoided pursuing the answer. He didn’t even acknowledge that anything was wrong until too late, and by that point, he just threw his hands up willingly, hoping that maybe a blank slate for the future would be just as refreshing as he’d always dreamed. Jin felt lost and wondered why he felt his brain was on hyperdrive, yet, so empty at the same time. He followed the two boys down the sidewalk to the base. once again, without realizing it, being troubled by the possibilities that weren't actually there.

 

_______________________

 

"What is it like to have a future seeing side effect anyway?"

 

The corridors of headquarters were otherwise empty as the two of them walked side by side, but the presence of hundreds of other agents filled the area, making sure that it didn't feel alone.

 

"What was it like?"

 

That was a question that, to say the least, had a few too many answers. Jin took a moment or three to wonder how he should respond. All futures held different outcomes, risks, situations, benefits, losses, sensations, and experiences. Jin often wondered how he could handle it all, the futures of thousands of people. It wasn’t common, and Jin occasionally took the time to be concerned at his mental state, and how unknown it was, but figured that worrying about it was a waste of time. One of the most honest possible answers was "stressful." It was devastating at times to walk through the bustling halls of Border, only to see futures of hard truths, failure and pain. It also put a lot of pressure on him, to see everything. To stop everything. They didn't seem to understand that not everything is avoidable. Bit everyone expected that he know and do it all, by himself. If it happens in his head, nobody can really help.

 

"Uh, Jin? You still there?" Tachikawa teased, with a layer of suspicion. Jin started a little, an odd occurrence for somebody like him. "Hey, Jin, you alright?" Tachikawa raised an eyebrow. Oh, one little jump and suddenly something is wrong! he thought darkly, but in all honesty, he was frustrated immediately by how well Tachikawa knew him. A moment's hesitation and Tachikawa could figure something was wrong. "Yeah, I'm fine," he said, smiling to cover up. "Why the sudden interest?" Tachikawa grinned awkwardly. "I've always been curious, I guess I just never got around to asking." Jin stopped for a moment to think, of the many answers he could give, 'Stressed' wasn't the correct one here…

 

Ignorant bastard.

 

He cursed mentally. "Well, It's very unique." He piped, his forced smile always didn't fit right with Tachikawa around. "And fascinating..." As he spoke, Jin decided that maybe it was time to try to force his future.  
Ever since his mind had been wiped of foresight, Jin hadn’t chased the future. Maybe something bad would happen, and Jin didn’t want to tell anybody about something that nobody really understood, and he didn’t want to force it to do anything it didn’t want to. Suddenly having fate invisible was disorienting, and Jin didn’t know whether or not he wanted it back, or winter of not he should do something. He had been trying to ignore it because this was such a big change, he didn’t want to panic just yet. But for Tachikawa, and because his old friend was practically prompting him to try so, he began flipping through the 627 most probable futures of this conversation, looking for the best outcome. Or rather, the shortest. In his hunt, futures 20, 106, 215, 460 and 592 stood out for his needs.

 

That was an awful mistake.

 

Why did he fight his fate of unseeing?

 

Why did Jin never learn to not touch the things that he didn’t fully understand?

 

It started suddenly as a sharp pain slicing, through him, then bouncing back, cutting through his brain. It started to throb immediately, in a hard and rapid succession. "Holy fuck!" the words had slid out as soon as it began. He gripped his head. The sharp stinging became unbearable in an instant. He felt as if his skull would split at any moment. Jin buckled down, cursing, as the futures he had so briefly seen became distorted. "Jin!" Tachikawa yelped as Jin abruptly fell to his knees. "Damn!" Jin managed as it passed slowly. his eyes to the clean floor. "Jin! Oh my god, are you alright? What the hell was that?" Jin raised his head, confused to ask the same question. Once his gaze hit his concerned rival, however, futures bloomed again and the pulsating agony. It was easily the worst pain he had ever felt. Tachikawa wouldn't touch him, and his cries were drowned out by a throbbing hell. What the hell was this? He got a sickening feeling in his stomach that this wasn't going to end well. (what he would never guess was the extent of it all) He attempted to stand only to crumble down again. Tachikawa looked horrified. It became hazy, and the world slid in and out of focus with ease. He tried once more to rise to his feet, and a small yelp escaped him before it all went dark.

 

_________________________

 

The crisp, cold morning biting down at his nose had fully woken Tachikawa. Which was saying something, as sleep tugged down at his eyes? He had stayed at HQ late into the night after Jin had abruptly collapsed. Tachikawa had stubbornly refused to go home until his friend woke up, despite the staff's futile attempts. That happened to 3am. The doctors wouldn't let him see anyway, and after some bargaining forcefully sent him home. Jin had texted him an hour or so later, apologizing for the trouble, (Trouble? It wasn't like Jin had given him a chore or anything, he wasn't bothered at all, he was just worried.) and confirming that he would still be going on the away mission. Tachikawa concerns became more and more justified as Jin doggedly avoided all of Tachikawa's questions of his health. He only ever responded with an "I'm fine, don't worry about it.”  
Jin really knew his way around deniability and could dodge questions the same way he could dodge blades.

 

That jerk.

 

Looking through the plaza full of whispering A-Rank agents, Tachikawa still didn't see Jin anywhere. Tachikawa noted that everybody really was whispering as if afraid of speaking too loudly and ruining the authentic silence that mingled with the fog in the dark morning scene. Maybe he was just being paranoid, seeing some of the other A Rank agents had yet to arrive. Checking around he saw most of the A-Rank operators whispering urgently. Ren and Ayatsuji were talking about the "Barriers" trigger technology, and how sleek it was. And seeing as there was nobody to really talk to, he waited for the others to arrive. (Half listening to the operators, who were not particularly interesting, as they just seemed to be squealing like stereotypical school girls.)

 

"Come on Usami!" Tachikawa heard Ayatsuji almost squeal. "We know exactly who you're gonna pick to help activate it once you land!" Usami, behind a mob of her friends and other agents, was still clearly nervous. "Gosh! Come on! You two would be so cute together! Come on, you better ask him! It's not like he would turn it down. Actually, I'll bet he asks to help you with all the calculations!" she gasped in awe as an idea came to her, and Tachikawa wondered where Arshyama's operator had gotten all her energy. It was still about 6:00 AM. "My gosh! Ren, imagine if he did! They would be doing science together for hours! You did say it would take you a while to do all the research!!!"

 

“Ayatsuji… I don’t think that-”

 

“Oh, come on, the first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one!”

 

“It’s not really a problem, though…”  
“Usami and Kodera sittin’ in a tree…”

 

She kept babbling on and on, as she got more and more out of hand. Ren was clearly done with her friend's antics, as she left the optimistic Ayatsuji and a rather flustered looking Usami behind her, she brushed past Tachikawa muttering something of an "I shouldn't have given her that coffee."

 

Little did anyone know, this was the start of Tachikawa's seemingly perpetual confusion.

 

He wasn't kept waiting as long as he first thought, as the doors opened to reveal the last if the agents trickle in. Three more agents came through. The first two was ... Kazama and Kikuchihara? That struck Tachikawa as odd, Kazama was normally very punctual, it wasn't like him at all to be late. Kazama must've felt it was wrong too, as his eyes nervously darted back and forth, as he hurriedly dragged a grumbling Kikuchihara by the wrist. The duo looked to be in such in such a hurry, they hadn't even activated their triggers yet. To Tachikawa's surprize, Kazama didn't seem angry in the slightest. Not even remotely frustrated. Tachikawa had known Kazama for a long time, and he could tell there was something different about him. A more optimistic and playful tone had been added to his usually serious and unwaveringly discipline air…

 

Huh.

 

Well, it didn't really seem like his business, and Kazama seemed happy, for whatever reason, so Tachikawa tried to put that out of his mind. He had enough to worry about, namely the man the trailed behind the couple, but Tachikawa couldn't help but notice the unusual white sweater that Kazama wore. It almost swallowed him, really. He could've sworn that it belonged to Kikuchihara, but he never got around to asking. It wasn't really his place to pry anyway. Instead, his attention was redirected to Jin. Or, rather, who should've been Jin.  
But It really wasn’t him, and Tachikawa could tell almost instantly. It wasn’t very hard, especially with somebody like Jin. It took a lot to pin him down, but if something was wrong, you could see the fear and uncertainty in his eyes from a mile away.

 

Tachikawa could automatically tell something was wrong. There was a suddenly starved need for answers that appeared out of nowhere but Jin's oddly slouched figure. He felt himself get more and more curious the closer he got, as his questions filled up and spilled over. The only one that truly mattered, however, was the simply broad question of a "What happened?" and "Will you be ok?" Unlike the late night, the digital conversation they had the night before, Jin couldn't avoid him now. He hoped. It wasn't until the crowd parted and Jin was almost before he could Tachikawa see what a sorry state he was in. He was slouching, as he had noticed earlier. His posture honestly reminded Tachikawa of that of somebody with a hangover. He looked rather... Beat. He actually wore his goggles for once, but there were askew on the bridge of his nose. He looked disheveled, and his Jacket was ruffled and slightly tattered. His usual air of confidence had suddenly vanished, only to be replaced by exhaustion and confusion. Uncertainty, you could call it. That really stuck with Tachikawa. He had never in his life see Jin like this scene the day he had predicted his own death…

 

Tachikawa got a little red faced as he committed his own common mental taboo. He thought about the night Jin had predicted that death. Jin had held it together until Tachikawa had found him. The moment Tachikawa had forced him to talk about it…

 

Not the issue now, FOCUS!

 

Forcefully casting the thoughts from his mind, he took the last steps towards Jin.

 

It really was a powerful contrast, the mastermind, the manipulator, had fallen behind. That was how dire the situation was. As he would explain the half-truths of it to Izumi later, he called it "The figurative gravity." of a situation.

 

Tachikawa opened his mouth to say something, anything, ask and hope for an answer of any kind, he was immediately denied that right. He had gotten out about half of his sentence when Jin realized who he was talking to, went pale, and turned away.

 

He walked away without another word.

 

His eyes fixed downwards as he staggered the other direction, Jin couldn't even walk straight. This was bad.  
Anyones' initial reaction to their best friend turning away rudely like that might be a shock or betrayal, Tachikawa's reaction, by comparison, may have had a little shock, but rather than any lingering emotions like bitterness, it felt more of a concerned curiosity. Knowing Jin's stubborn nature firsthand, he knew that pursuing him would be pointless, and probably decrease his chances of understanding this insane situation.

 

After a careful pause, Tachikawa assembled his plan of action, just like he would do anything else in life. Regardless if that plan was carried through or not (His battle plans usually worked out well, his school-work battle plans did not often end up well...).

 

He worked his way over to the gossiping operators. All he could hear was an excitable "Just admit it! You will totally pick him, and you totally like-" "Shut up!" Usami flustered playfully. In Tachikawa's opinion, it wasn't really a time for games. Usami looked embarrassed, and Tachikawa felt that he didn't have time for this. Having heard enough, he quickly pulled Usami away from her overly enthusiastic friend.  
"Yes, Tachikawa? Do you need anything? You don't look so good."

 

Whether or not he was, he couldn't tell. "No, I think Jin does. Have you seen him?" Usami frowned. "Jin? Yeah, I was confirming his mental state last night. Why? He seemed fine then." After taking in the look on Tachikawa's face, she replied "Yes, I was there, the only issue I saw was some clouded judgment. He was so sleep deprived, we didn't think too much of it. Why? What did you notice? You would be better at this than me..." Tachikawa was about to ask what she was on about, (Good heavens, Tachikawa thought himself to be the least qualified person to help with something like this, he wasn't a scientist) but his priorities were on Jin, not on some vague attempt at flattery or whatever she had meant by that. "Not the point right now, something is terribly wrong, I need your-"

 

"Everyone."

 

Commander Kido's voice fired through the thin air like a cannon. He sure knew how to direct attention to him. He was greeted by his usual, immediate silence.  
"Welcome to the final away mission."

 

And that was it. Kido had given a very large and unhelpful speech about the purpose of the away mission. Maybe it was because Tachikawa wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, or maybe it's because he had so many other things on his mind, he only caught bits and pieces of the speech here and there. He understood enough. Usami held, in her possession, two triggers that combined to create "Barriers." She would need one other agent's, of her choice, help. They would need to activate it together. To ensure the first trigger had set in properly, they would be activated one at a time with a given period of time, that they would need to stall for, in between. Unfortunately, that time would be hard fought for, as the planet they would land on to set it up from a proper distance, was the most aggressive planet in the data. Leagues. Commander Kido asked for everyone's full cooperation with Usami, no matter the branch they work for. Usami was handed a ludicrous amount of paperwork, and they boarded the away ship.

 

So much for getting the help they needed.

 

Immediately the ship was very different from all the others. It looks like an actual home, not just Rows of cramped, ugly seats. They had taken the time to use volume-creation triggers to make tons of extra space. It was still small, especially with 14 passengers, but it was a definite Improvement. There was a small kitchen area and adjoined living room. The walls were glass. Real glass, (Glass was too hard to replicate out of trion) so that they could look out into the deep contents of space. There was a long hallway with bedrooms. 2 people per room, with the owner's name engraved on plates on the doors. In the back of a steel Trion door labeled "control room/ lab" no surprise there, every Away ship had one. The door closed behind them, and the real world was gone. Out of pure curiosity, Tachikawa went over to read the names of the rooms.

 

.Yoneya, Miwa.

 

.Yuma, Midorikawa.

 

.Osamu, Kodrea.

 

.Karasuma.

 

.Usami, Konami.

 

.Kikuchihara, Kazama.

 

.Jin, Tachikawa.

 

.Control room/Lab  
.  
"Huh."  
Jin couldn't escape from him now, and Tachikawa was scared to know WHY he was trying to avoid him. Tachikawa just wanted to know if he was alright, though the probability of that was pretty low.  
He tried not to focus on that as he followed Jin into their room. Tachikawa looked around, it looked like some kind of hotel room. two small, white beds, a closet, and a small bathroom. there was a desk by the window that had a pleasant black shine, and a filing cabinet beside it. For some reason, it was filled with studies and documents about triggers, away ships, and files on every passenger. They had reading lights hooked to the wall by both beds. The wallpaper in the room was kind of generic, not that it really bothered them. The door closed behind them.

 

Tachikawa remained silent for a minute or so, and began to unpack, as he wondered what the proper way to start this conversation was. For some reason, this already seems like a careful topic, and he should tread lightly. Not something he was particularly good at. Taking quick glances at Jin he noticed he was actually wearing his goggles instead of letting them hang freely off his neck. He looks beat, maybe even defeated. He didn't start to unpack, he just flopped onto the bed, and curled up tightly into a small ball on top of the sheets.Tachikawa couldn't tell if that was intentional, but Jin was looking away from him and out the window. The ship jolted, and in the blink of an eye, they went through the Gateway, the sides of the gateway leaking bolts of unstable trion. The gate closed behind them and the real world was gone. Usami must have started up the engines. His stomach dropped as the window revealed the smooth, suction-like passage. Then they were there, in the neighborhood. Deciding that he should probably just ask Jin now before it got worse, Tachikawa sat on the end of Jin's bed.

 

When it came to getting Jin to open up, which was not an easy task, Tachikawa had learned it was all in the little things. He didn't respond at all at first, no surprise there, Jin always got what he wanted, and he always wanted to be independent and reliable. He would never admit to failure. Attempting to bridge the gap, Tachikawa whispered gently, "Hey Jin? Are you okay? I understand if you don't want to talk about it, I'm just really concerned about you." he continued, choosing his words carefully. There was still no response at all, it was as if he wasn't there. He was about to reach for Jin's hand, as a sign to him that he was there to help. The exhausted man pulled it away as soon as reached out, he twitched and his eyes shut the moment his gaze hit Tachikawa above his eye wear.

 

“Jin? At least tell me how I can help right now, even if it’s just to not talk now.”

 

"...Get... away from me..." he growled through bared teeth.

 

"What? Jin, what.. what's wrong?" Tachikawa's tone dropped, this was serious.

 

"I said.. get away from me!" he shrieked, as he sprung up, recoiling away from the other man as if he had been stung. "GET AWAY FROM ME, GODDAMNIT!"

 

He adjusted his goggles and gripped his head. Tachikawa was very confused, but as he drew back, the other man had seemed to have calmed a little.

 

"... Just-... leave me alone..." Jin mumbled, sullenly, without a trace of his usual personality.

 

Deciding that maybe, shouting wouldn't help anything, he mustered a small "...please." as a beg for his solitude. Tachikawa really hadn't expected that. Jin had never yelled at anyone before, much less him., so he felt as if he didn’t have any option other than to respect what Jin said. Regretfully making up his mind, he decided it was pointless to do anything else now. Not that it would stop him from wishing he could. He stood up and walked towards the door, slowly, as if he wanted Jin to stop him from apologizing, but Jin never did.  
"I'll be... out here if you need me...For anything. Okay?"

 

A visible shiver ran through Jin, but he didn't respond. The door closed behind him.

 

______________________________________

 

It was always off-putting when day night looks the same.

 

It's been about 14 hours since Jin had blown up, and Tachikawa hadn't seen him since. He hadn't even dared enter the room, knowing Jin was still trapped in. He didn't even come out to eat. If the others noticed Jin’s absence, they didn’t say so. Everyone began to trickle out of the living room at the end of the day, finally leaving Tachikawa and Usami alone. The last to leave was Kyousuke, who carried a sleeping Konami to her room. However, Usami knew what was happening, and didn’t have a moment to lose.

 

"What happened?" she begged, the moment the two disappeared. "Jin hasn't come out all day! You were trying to talk to me earlier, and I’m sorry, I got pulled away, What did you need me for? What can I do to help you?”  
“Help me? You need to help Jin!”’

 

“I know… but uh, you didn't... do anything, did you?"

 

Tachikawa scrambled to collect his thoughts. "Of course, I had to do something! He's my rival!" He started indignantly, "Is he your friend? Or is he rival?" she asked politely. "I think you need to make up your mind." Her curious eyes met Tachikawa's blank gaze, "That's not the point here," she told him distractedly. "The point is that something is horribly wrong to Jin, which in turn probably means there's something horribly wrong in store for us." Tachikawa wanted to deny that but couldn't. "Now, I won't act like I know what I'm talking about here, after all, I don't really know Jin, but I-"

 

"What?" Tachikawa cut her off.

 

"You're around him far more than I am!"

 

Usami's patience became limited and was running out for this dense idiot.

 

"I know the Jin he wants me to know. You know Jin well. You've gone through thick and thin with him, for a long time. I have only ever met the 'power elite', you've to meet Jin. you're the only person alive who has!" This suddenly seemed to carry a lot more weight. "I'm sorry to say, but I don't know what to tell you..." Usami said scratching her head. "I can help diagnose his mental state, but you would need to get him into the lab yourself." Tachikawa slumped forward.

 

"What? Why me?" he asked. She glared at him meaningfully. "What?" he asked again. "He's really mad at me! He hasn't come out all day, in case you hadn't noticed. Thanks for reminding me that this is my fault."  
"I have noticed, Tachikawa, and that's precisely why only you can do this!" She pushed. Tachikawa rubbed his temples, and his jaw clamped shut. This is all making his head spin. "If he got mad at you for attempting to help, How can any of us do this?"

 

Still seeing his hesitation, She pleaded. "Please! Only you could do this!" that was barely enough to convince him, but he gave in. "Alright, will you be in the lab tomorrow?" Usami nodded. "For the whole day, I'll be ready whenever so I don't care when just please get him in there!"

 

"...Understood..."

 

_________________________

 

Usami headed to bed when it occurred to him that Jin had not eaten or drunk anything that day, and knowing what a week Tachikawa had left him as, starvation and dehydration wouldn’t really help the problem. Not in the slightest. And knowing that Jin didn’t eat of sleep as much as he needed to, Tachikawa felt as if this was the least he could do. He grabbed Jin some water and an apple, and marched over to the door before his hand froze on the icy surface of the doorknob.

 

This wasn't a good idea. Maybe he should sleep on the couch instead? It seemed a little extreme, besides, Tachikawa badly wanted to see him, even just to know that he was alive. So, holding his breath, he finally knocked on the door.

 

…  
Almost thankfully there was no response. Tachikawa opened the door tentatively to see Jin, for the first time ever, asleep.

 

Tachikawa knew this was both good and bad, but decided to let it be. If Jin wanted it, what more could you do? Jin always got what he wanted after all…

 

He placed the water and fruit on Jin’s bedside table, before actually inspecting Jin.

 

…

 

He was an idiot.

 

His covers were scrunched up at the foot of his bed. He was unhappy and pale and was also sweating.That very clearly wasn't a good sign. He hadn't changed clothes either, only removed his goggles. He was twitching and I watched, horrified, as Jin often gasped "No."

 

Nightmares.

 

It was not new news that Jin had nightmares. Jin had horrific episodes as his brain tried to piece together large, and often times were broken, and unsorted information, leading to horrific imagery. Jin would always try to be tough about it, but occasionally, when Jin would spend the night, he’d wake up in a fit of hysteria and tears. Which was rather unnerving to see, you know, the top dog being demoted by nothing more than themselves?

 

Tachikawa, however, tried not to worry too much about the things he couldn’t change, but that was awfully hard. Jin looked so discontent and pale. Even after Tachikawa crawled in his own bed, feeling mentally and physically exhausted, he couldn't sleep, he was too concerned. He badly wanted to wake up Jin, he had to bite down on his lip to stop himself, Jin would probably be even madder at him if he had, though, and then they ran the risk of being unable to get the help they needed. Anyway, Tachikawa turned on his reading light and begin to watch over Jin. Just as a friend. Seeing that it was worrying him so much, then he might as well.  
No matter what, Tachikawa was determined to keep him safe.

 

…

 

Hours pass slowly, but Tachikawa doesn’t notice.

 

He was glad he did.

 

He'd been desperately debating waking up Jin until 3:23 a.m. when his little Game of 'guard dog' paid off, in an unfortunate manner. No longer the quiet mutters, Jin's voice began to rise.

 

"Stop it..."

 

His slurred speech sounded sad, as his fingers clenched. His expression screwed shut. "no get away from me!" he cried. He sounded afraid.

 

It almost sounded like a beg, a cry for help. Tachikawa's eyes widened when he saw tears roll down the sleeping cheeks of his friend. He shook, "Stop this... Stop!" he cried, Tachikawa was on his feet in moments. Rapidly tapping Jin, He called his name Softly. "Jin? Jin, Jin!" His eyes opened, he jumped backward, seeing Tachikawa standing above him.

 

"Jin?" He tried again.

 

Tears still rolled down his cheeks, and he didn't seem to know why. He looked around hurriedly as if he couldn't remember anything before he seized his goggles. He gulped, trembling. "T-Tachikawa?" The older man tried to smile reassuringly. "Yes, Jin, do you need anything? I brought you some-" Jin had a terrifying glint in his eyes. "I said to leave me alone!" he yelled forcefully, scrambling back even farther as if intimidated.  
It was as if this was some elaborate prank. Jin had been substituted by this cowardly, fearful, puppy. This won't do…

 

Tachikawa remembered what Usami had said. "Why?" he asked Jin as unthreatening as possible. "You- ... know exactly why!" he sobbed, his words became rather butchered.

 

"No, I don't know why. Please tell me..."

 

He started to close the gap between him and his seemingly unstable friend. "You're here to hurt me? and torture me? to kill me? Go away! I don't want you here, I want the pain to stop! I want to leave! Go away!" he shrieked. Tachikawa briefly thanked the engineers for making all the walls soundproof. "I promise, I'm not here to hurt you," he continues to inch closer, there was nowhere for him to run, his back was to the glass window. "Liar..." he choked out as he broke into another pitiful sob.

 

"No, I'm not. Would I lie to you?" Tachikawa defended himself, choosing his words carefully.

 

"I said.. get away from me!" He screamed, but Tachikawa was almost there. His hand was reaching out, trying to show that he wasn't there to harm him. Crying didn't really suit Jin. His eyes were red and puffy behind his eyewear, and he shrunk away. He looked like a small mouse withdrawing from a cat. He seemed panicked. His eyes squeezed shut in anticipation for something awful. Tachikawa's fingertips brushed the fabric of Jin's jacket sleeve, ruffled because of his hunched shoulders. His hand meets Jin's arm peacefully. A squeak followed, but after a moment he opened his eyes, and a quick tremble shook Jin's body. Tachikawa's eyes shone with care and support, Jin's with worry and timidity.

 

"What are you doing?" Jin managed.

 

"I'm helping you," he responded. Jin flinched again as the other man's hand moved suddenly, but it only rubbed up and down his own arm comfortingly. "Why?" he asked, voice rising. He was trying and failing miserably to suppress his tears. "Why? Because I care about you, I don't want you to be alone or scared, or hurt. I want you to be happy and safe."

 

He'd suddenly gained all the patience and kindness in the world, a good thing, because it got very out of hand very quickly. Jin opened his mouth to respond but was suddenly cut off as he hit his limit. All the came out with a broken sob, a gasp, and pathetic whine. Tears spilled every which way, "Jin?" Tachikawa asked as he gathered the uncontrolled sobbing mess into his arms. "Jin, can you hear me?" All that surfaced as a response was another uncharacteristically desolate mewl.

 

"God..." Tachikawa flustered. Jin seems conflicted. He had just been screaming at him to leave, but now desperately back onto him. Maybe Tachikawa had gotten through to him.

 

That hope was short-lived.

 

Jin dug into him, and he almost split into two. It was rather disorienting. Jin leaned into him, tears falling in a waterfall, digging his hands into his shoulders. Full and weak, Jin wanted to pull closer, but he also didn't want to. He hugged Tachikawa close, needing him desperately, but he cursed at him under his breath. He choked out gasps with his demands to "stop." or "leave." he swore, and verbally abused both Tachikawa and himself. No matter how vehemently he hated them, he would not let go. It was like two entities trapped in one. Seeing it unfold before him was quite a mind screw.

 

It was as if they didn’t realize that reality told them not so. It seemed like a strong contradiction, but Tachikawa was unsure of what law they were defying, only that he felt as if they were in the process of violation.  
Tachikawa was always told that he never thought before he spoke, so he didn't dare say a word. He could only hope that Jin would get it all out of his system. He was still appalled, and felt uneasy as Jin fought a war within his head. Maybe he was contradicting himself.

 

What ever it was, it made his heart pound, and skin crawl. What the hell was happening?

 

______________________

 

He sat there for almost an hour, yet time flowed by them in a daze, as Jin cussed them out and hated them, yet clung onto him for dear life, tears still spilling out of his eyes. It was a painful hour before Jin reached an agreement, and without warning, the fight was over. He made up his mind. Jin shoved Tachikawa back and scrambled away. Tachikawa lately swore under his breath, He just wanted to have, or to keep this or, him, under control.

 

"Why don't you ever listen to me?!" Jin begged desperately. "I said leave!" he shouted. Or at least, tried to. His voice faltered through his tears. "Jin! Calm down, I was only-"

 

"What did you say? ME, calm down? YOU FUCKING PSYCHO!" Jin's voice was rising at the very second, but it was weak and torn from crying, and there was a hint of subtle anger in it. Frustration.  
Tachikawa had honestly had no idea what he was on about. He wondered if even Usami could-could figure it out. He tried to approach but Jin started backing away again. He continued to follow him until Jin's back hit the door of the restroom. He skidded behind the door, and locked himself in, finally gaining his unhealthy solitude once more.

 

Tachikawa rattled the door, but it was no use. He heard more sobs from the other side, but Tachikawa picked his battles. This was pointless and hopeless, but he couldn't just leave his friend like this, so he leaned his back up against the wooden slab and listened to the desolate cries from the other side as he looked for heavy from exhaustion. It was 4:36 a.m., and he had a long day, to begin with, but he still couldn't quite relax. Now, we can start this over eventually...His efforts eased up, even through all that had happened, and he fell asleep with his back to the door.

 

______________________________

 

He was safe. For now, not for long, never for long, nothing ever lasted. Everything was warped, when was anything clear? Something was always uncertain. His head stung and the ground moved under him in waves. He was trapped, he was cornered, he was scared and he wanted to leave. Every muscle and voice in his head were caterwauling, screaming in agony, screeching noises shredding his ears. They told him to escape this. The man outside... what was his name again? Had he always been there? He couldn't remember. He couldn’t see either. Every time he tried to see, it hurt. It was a hellfire blazing in his brain, it was torturing, anguish and pain flooding his mind, threatening to rip him open at the seams, he wanted to die.

 

He wanted to die so badly.

 

Maybe Jin would die here. Maybe he was already dead, and this really was hell, where he belong, for being the one responsible for all those deaths. Choosing between people to save because he could see. He didn’t want to have that responsibility. He didn’t want their blood on his hands. He wanted to see again.

 

Nobody knows, there was nobody to know. Was there ever anyone? He wondered what the man outside was thinking. Did he think? was Jin thinking? His head pounded and his throat was dry. He didn't know. He felt dizzy and heavy as he slumped to the floor.

 

He didn't know anything. Was he lost? Was he human? He closed his eyes and prayed for a better tomorrow, not quite remembering what tomorrow was, or if it would ever come.

 

________________________________________________

 

"Jin?"

 

A light voice carried through the door. The one flimsy barrier between them. Jin started awake. He felt awful. His arms and legs felt as if they were lead, and his side ached where he had been sleeping on it. He was lightheaded and empty, when was the last time he had eaten? The sun was gone, missing from this sky, so he couldn't say for sure. He had an awful headache, and he felt like this had been dragging on for weeks. How long was a week again?

 

"Jin?" The voice rang again. Jin desperately dug his mind for a name. One surfaced, but he was uncertain.  
"Tachikawa?" He couldn't think straight, his voice was quaking. He sat up to see a small puddle by his head. Had he been crying? He didn't remember it. His futures didn't tell him so. The futures weren't telling him anything. He couldn’t seem to think on his own.

 

"Jin! You're awake! We need to talk, please, come out." With great difficulty, Jin found his footing. He scraped his memories for any information. His Futures almost glitched away from him, yet, he wan\isnot receiving anything at all, like the ghost of a future was glitching from reach, when he was staring a blank wall in the face. He only came up with one thought, one pattern. One image. He only remembered what Tachikawa did best. The one thing he could recall…

 

Killing.

 

"No!" Jin gasped suddenly. Abruptly fearful for his life yet again. Tachikawa could possibly break down the door. Why couldn't this man leave him alone? Jin didn't know, so he found out. he turned to the mirror, the futures would tell him.

 

Shit.

 

His goggles were gone, so he stared head first into the blossoming possibilities. Wrong move.

 

Negative 27 futures were available. They all lead, in unison, to white hot pain. The futures were agonizing. His skull felt like it was being shredded to bloody pieces. These phantom futures were paralyzing. He couldn't take it anymore, nobody else's, and not his own. He had lost control. One swing and he didn't have to see it. One action and this temporary pain was over. he did it without thinking twice.

 

The mirror broke apart into sharp scraps under his hand. He had swung with such force, the entire smooth surface was demolished. The small splinters peeled up under his fist and dug under his skin. The large pieces crashed to the floor, cracking into glittering thorns. Jin let out a daunt cry of pain as slivers of glass dug deeper and deeper into his flesh, blood already running down his wrist and hands down to his knuckles. "Jin!?" Tachikawa called, sounding panicked. Jin didn't even hear him. "What happened?" he cried again. Jin swore loudly, as he felt the need to cry, but there was no water left in him. The fragments were small, and Jin’s shaky hands reassured him that there was no way in hell he’d be able to help himself.

 

He only heard a large crash as the door swung back on it's hinges.

 

"Holy shit..." Was all he could muster. The scene before him was horrific. Shattered glass everywhere, coating the floor in dangerous gleams. Jin was cut up, bruised and terrified. He leaned on the counter in a petty attempt to stand but tumbled down as Tachikawa entered. Jin's hand was swollen and severely bleeding, the sour red liquid started streaming down onto the floor. Some of the scattered glass had Jin's blood, small slivers jammed into his hand, so they barely poked out the red surface of his body. "Jin! Oh my god, what happened?" That was a dumb question, he knew exactly what happened, it didn't make it any less awful. Glass snapped underfoot as he raced to his side. "Jin, what has happened to you? This is insane!" Jin didn't even reply.  
"Damn it, your hand!" Tachikawa started opening cabinets at random. "Hold on!" Jin couldn't move, he just sat there, feeling faint, consciousness was so hard to held onto. He didn't want to see any more futures, he didn’t want to see Tachikawa, he didn’t want to see anything. He closed his eyes again and felt the throbbing of his gray matter coursing throughout him, pain reaching the pads of his fingers, and the tips of his toes. Tachikawa knelt beside him, and carefully took Jin's hand in his own, and took a good look at what Jin had done to himself. If this wasn’t self-destruction, he didn’t know what was.

 

Whatever you wanted to call it, it was a nasty piece of work. The glass was busy relocating itself deeper into the stream of blood, deeper into him, the pouring blood concealing more of the damage, making it hard to work around.

 

"We're gonna get help for you after this, ok? It will all be fine..." His voice sounded hoarse and distant, and he couldn't tell if that was because everything sounded hoarse and distant to him then, or if it was because Tachikawa didn't believe what he said, not like it mattered to him anyways.

 

Trion body activated, he leaned down and began to pick out the small slivers of glass that had embedded themselves in his soft skin. Jin didn't say anything, he didn't thank him or curse him for the help. his eyes were dazed, he trembled, but nothing could force its way out. His constant quake did make it hard to pull shards out of him, but Tachikawa remained patient. The limp figure before him didn't seem to care either way.  
It took a minute to wrap up the wound. Tachikawa tried his best, but he should have Usami do it next time, she had a steadier hand than him. The entire mirror was on the ground in ruins. "Come on, let's get you out of here, we'll go get help for you, it will all be ok..."

 

Jin looked up at him, blinking. "We'll go together, come on!" He held out his hand to help Jin up, but it was refused. "Go with you?" he asked, even his voice shook uncontrollably. "Yes, with me. Usami said she could help you." Jin looked at the empty space above Tachikawa's shoulder, avoiding the future. Standing was hard. "Help me?" he echoed as if not quite registering, or even hearing any of this. "Yes, we can go figure this out!"  
"If only I knew what 'this' was." His forced smile felt odd around his best friend.  
"Won't you just hurt me?" he asked worriedly. This entire scenario felt more and more forced by the moment. Or maybe it was just out of place. "I promise, here..." he dug around in his pockets. "Trigger, off!" His real body appeared, heavy and clumsy. "I can't possibly hurt you now." Jin looked at him and flinched. His failing memory paining him. "Come with me-"

 

There was a foul smack.

 

Impact.

 

Tachikawa crashed against the door. He was stunned. He couldn't speak. The impact had been too sudden for that. His cheek was stinging, "What the hell?" he gasped. Red had filtered through Jin's wrapped hand where his hand had struck, soaking through the cotton. "Get the fuck... away from me..." Jin growled. He clutched his hand, small crimson leaks splattered onto the floor with long, red fingers. Did Jin just... slap him? Tachikawa was shocked. He had landed square on his tailbone. That stung too. Jin looked from his hand to Tachikawa, fear written all over his face. How disconnected was Jin from the rest of the world? Tachikawa snapped. There wasn't any another option. Jin would thank him for this later, once he was back to normal…

 

If he got back to normal.

 

Tachikawa's kindness was gone, he would have to do this the hard way.

 

It must have shown, because Jin stepped away, seeing the resolve and anger combining in Tachikawa’s expression. "I didn't mean to-" he cut off in a squeak as Tachikawa swiftly grabbed at Jin's jacket sleeve. Jin's eyes widened as he was forcefully hauled out the door. He wanted to get away from this place, not go with this guy! Despite his futile efforts, however, he was too much of a wreck to truly resist. His feet skidded on the floor behind him as he was forcefully thrown back into the main room. "Grab your goggles and the food, and we're going to Usami's" He asserted. Jin couldn't even think for himself, so he simply obliged.

 

__________________________________________

 

Tachikawa flung the door open, not thinking about the others on the ship, and pointed towards the lab door. "Out." He commanded. This wasn't going to be easy, was it? Already, he felt so bad about what he was doing, he wished that he could’ve held Jin in his arms until the dust had settled, but that seemingly only kicked up more debt, and his first priority was Jin’s mental stability, and if he had to do this the hard way… so be it. This was the only help he could really offer. Sometimes to do some good, you've got to be the bad guy. Still, guilt rose up in his chest, and the thought of holding Jin in his arms until this was over was FAR to appealing for his comfort.

 

"Now!"

 

Jin bowed his head, and slunk out the door, headed to the end of the hall. Tachikawa closed the door behind them, hoping to leave the world of madness behind them. He glanced back, Konami and Kyosuke had appeared in the entrance to the hallway, to see what the commotion was. The two looked concerned (Konami gripped onto Kyousuke's hand), as they glanced at Jin's retreating figure, but Tachikawa nodded at them to signal that it was all under control… Sort of.

 

Under control for now.

 

They must've noticed Jin's absence yesterday because Konami looked on the verge of interrupting them to question this. Thankfully, Kyosuke seemingly got the message, or maybe caught a glimpse of the rare fear in his eyes, as he grabbed her other hand and pulled her away.

 

Tachikawa had always assumed they were dating, but he had never really asked. Evidently, his assumption was right. (Little did he know that they had just gotten together two days previous, and his original guess had been several months ago, and wrong.) Not really his concern right then, as Jin opened up the door before them, and they set foot in another new place. The thought to the lab soothed him, it was a welcoming, stable and reliable area, and the followed Jin inside.

 

______________________

 

It had taken about an hour. Tachikawa couldn't really do much as Usami questioned Jin, examining notes, Making points, and scribbling out improbable answers on a clipboard. The lab was far more pleasant than it looked from the outside. You could tell it was made for Usami by the nice pastel color of the walls to a plush bean bag by the bookshelf. There was a dark wooden coffee table in the middle with a couch and two chairs facing it, which was rather welcoming. Two filing cabinets, and said large bookshelf, crammed full of everything from mangas to hardbound textbooks. Already, tons of which had been pulled off the shelf and stacked in messy piles. It had only been a handful of hours since she had offered her help, and yet she had already done loads of research and made on the long list of possibilities based on Jin's actions. The most intriguing part of the room was in the back. A Massive control panel, with complex figures, and maps. Where it was common knowledge that Tachikawa wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, the little glowing dials intrigued him so, and he wished that he was here in lighter terms so that maybe he could ask what they were all meant to do. Usami had also left her signature mark on the room by abandoning, already, three pairs of fuzzy socks, strewn on the floor. Thankfully, Jin didn't seem nearly as scared of Usami as he was by him. he agreed to her will and answered most questions without turbulence. (although his responses seemed minimal)

 

Usami asked him to temporarily step outside for the final part of the questioning. He wondered what she would have him leave for, but didn’t question, or rebel against the notion. If Usami thought it was best, he would leave it at that. He leaned his back against the wall just outside the door, just so he could be with Jin for the final verdict. He got more and more scared of what the answer to this was, as his imagination ran away with him. How bad was this? Tachikawa already had his suspicions, but never before ad he wanted so badly to be wrong. This was horrifying.

 

Not that he had very long to ponder what was happening beyond the door, which he should know better than to worry too much over, seeing as it was far beyond his control because it seemed as if the other agents had started to wake up.

 

There was a crash, as one of the doors swung back on its hinges as a blurry wad of limbs flew out of it.  
Tachikawa took a moment to decipher Miwa and Yosuke from their tangle, Yosuke bouncing atop his small captain.

 

Tachikawa blinked furiously to ensure that he wasn’t hallucinating this, but Miwa seemed to be laughing. But sure enough, when he looked again, there it was.Miwa was smiling. A REAL AUTHENTIC smile. It was nice to see. His laugh was surprisingly calming as well, full of energy and bounce.  
Who knew?

 

…

 

Wait, what was he witnessing again?

 

Tachikawa had no clue.

 

Yosuke was grinning madly as his captain squirmed under him. Miwa giggled, and smiled at the other boy, as his hands slid down the wall. "Hey! No fair! Cut it out!" he choked out, between a cheery laugh. Tachikawa wasn't really sure whether or not he was actually seeing this. "Aww..." was all Yosuke replied, but he stopped, letting Miwa catch his breath. "Did I ever tell you what a sweet laugh you have?" Yosuke's eyes shone with care. "Yes, but you're still wrong. Yours is still better." He airily smiled. (Tachikawa wondered what he was on because Miwa never smiled.) Miwa blushed, and shifted his weight nervously.

 

“I really, really love you…” he whispered, and in response, Yosuke folded around him in a hug.

 

“I love you too, Sunshine…”

 

…

 

…

 

…

 

And then the time was up. He ruined it.

 

Miwa had finally spotted him at the end of the hallway. "Tachikawa?" He looked suddenly pale and wished to be anywhere else. Tachikawa nodded, attempting, for his sake, and theirs, to stay as straight-faced as possible. Easier said than done, however, seeing before him the most carefree agent in border pinning Shuji Miwa to the wall. Sexually. Yosuke gulped, and his face went red, with an expression that screamed "Oh... shit."

 

"T-this isn't what it looks like!" Miwa looked mortified. Yosuke frowned, knowing that Tachikawa wasn't that dumb. "Actually," He leaned down and kissed Miwa quickly. "This is exactly what it looks like." He corrected. Miwa fumed a vibrant hue of red, and after another prolonged silence, Yosuke took him by the hand and pulled him back into their room without another word. The door closed behind the duo, and the normal world resumed.

 

…

 

"What the hell was that?"

 

Tachikawa had been so confused at everything recently, he almost forgot that there were any other feelings. What on earth was happening? Now, they weren't exactly on earth, were they? Usami called him back in a few minutes later, and he did his best to pretend that never happened.

 

_______________________________

 

It had been mere moments before Usami was preparing them. She had called him in a few minutes after the Miwa squad attackers had retreated in worry, and Tachikawa was unsure if he was ready for this or not. Usami seemed tense, and Jin remained as impassive as ever.

 

After a tense pause, Usami finally spoke.

 

"Well, I know what's wrong now..." She glanced at Tachikawa "And for what reasons.."

 

Jin was still slouched, and Tachikawa picked up on some fear in his eyes.

 

"I'm afraid the answer isn't very pretty."

 

Shit.

 

Tachikawa almost didn’t want her to say it. Ignorance was bliss and whatnot, but Tachikawa just didn’t want anything to be true.

 

He wanted a pass, an easy explanation, a cop out answer, like in a poorly written children’s book. He didn’t want some cruel, real world answer.

 

He didn’t want any negative answer at all.

 

He wanted a mental instability that could be resolved with hugs, and affection, not with… whatever Usami was suggesting. He wanted a future in which Jin would be honest with him about what it felt like to be in his shoes. Tachikawa knew what a lier he was, but didn’t point it out in hopes that one day, they’d be in a world in which Jin didn’t have to lie.

 

“So, it seems like the pressure of your side effect has taken a toll on some of your brain receptors and stimuli…” She mumbled, knowing very well that the other two wouldn’t really understand what that meant.  
She tightly gripped her clipboard in her hand and looked at Jin, her voice began to falter. "Well, Jin, those, er things.... You know what we discussed... Those are screwing with your subconscious and its coordination with the rest of your brain..." She looked very nervous. "Your side effect isn't reliable, and..."

 

Jin's bloodshot eyes widened. "And?" Usami wasn't even done. "Your... You're..." she seemed to have some trouble saying it.

 

She swallowed, looking nervously between them.

 

"Shit, I'm so sorry Jin..."

 

…

 

She looked away.

 

…

 

"You're insane."

 

_____________________________

 

…

 

Insane.

 

"What?"

 

No.

 

That wasn't right. That wasn't reasonable. That wasn't true. That wasn't right, that wasn't reliable. Jin's side effect, gone? Jin was insane? Forever? Permanently? Couldn't they go back? Why Jin? This wasn't happening. Usami bit her lip. Before Tachikawa realized it, he was in tears. Did he just lose Jin? The most important person in his life? How did he let this happen? Why? Why did Jin go insane now? He didn't do anything to deserve this. Jin pulled himself up to his feet, something that had been proving difficult. His hands struck the table forcefully. He seemed to be having some difficulty finding words. He had already brushed past them, in tears again and had flung open the door before he found his voice. The attacker managed to choke out "Damn you all!" before the door slammed behind him.

 

"Jin! Wait!" he moved to follow him when Usami caught his arm. "Tachikawa..." He turned to her. "What?!" His concern and focus were with the man out the door, not with her. "Please, we need you to do this, and I asked you to do it for the other reason. Tachikawa, we know how you feel about Jin, it's obvious, but I don't think Jin does. It's now or never, get in there and tell him how you feel. He really needs you right now." Usami released him.

 

"Be careful!" she called after him as he bolted down the hallway.

 

Usami knew. How did she? Even as he chased Jin, he could feel the tips of his ears get red. Jin popped open the only unmarked door in the hallway. He had slowed his pace, and Tachikawa had caught up. He wasn't that fast, however, knowing that he barely got the chance to see where he was...

 

…

 

A virtual training room. The tell-tale luminescent green grid shone down on the two as Tachikawa got a good look at Jin. Frustrated didn't even begin to describe it. It was the only thing he could think of to describe it. Jin's hand flicked out and hit the activation switch. Tachikawa blinked in bewilderment as his trion body was pulled out. He didn't have time to move, think, breathe or comprehend what was happening before there was a gap in his chest. "Trion relay system, Tachikawa down!" he was split right through the chest, and his upper half slid down the diagonal cut, trion that steamed out of him then solidified, and slid him back into place. "We're doing this the hard way I guess..." Jin was looking desperate, he swung again, but the other was ready this time as he managed to pull out his kogetsu to counter, Jin's left side became exposed as he swung with his right, and Tachikawa struck with all his might.

 

"Relay system, severed, Jin down." there was no time to think, no time to question, what happened, happened. Everything unfolded in the same fashion as a fever dream, the borderline of delusion and reality being broken and scattered. Tachikawa struck Jin down without a second thought. This was happening way too fast. One moment, he was pathetic, pitiful, crying in his arms, the next he was breaking mirrors, and diagnosed with mental insanity, then now facing off in some kind of desperate battle. It seemed forced, this whole thing. Crap. Tachikawa had lost his focus, and Jin sent a scorpion blade straight through his heart.

 

Through his heart…

 

No, Usami wasn't imagining things. Tachikawa often caught himself staring at Jin, and thinking about him in ways that he shouldn't. Tachikawa really was in love with him. Izumi would call him out for being overly obvious, but Jin never responded to his futile efforts. "If you're going to be so open about it, you might as well skip straight to sex in public." Izumi had told him once, rolling his eyes. "It's cringe worthy levels of obvious, just confess already!" but he never did. He couldn't. If he planned to confess, Jin would see it in his future, and then it would be ruined. Jin's side effect was hard to work around sometimes. Now Tachikawa understood."It's now or never." Jin wasn't using his side effect. Properly, anyway.

 

Momentarily, Jin was done. He clutched his blade in his hand and gasped for air. His chest heaved, and despite his attempts, he didn't have any energy left in him. He panted, and jabbed his blade into the ground as a mutual sign of defeat.

 

"Go on." Jin gasped. "What do you want from me...?"

 

Tachikawa frowned.

 

"I just want you to be alright, that's all. Honestly." Jin's eyes betrayed his doubt. Maintaining eye contact, Tachikawa grabbed at his blades and threw them back forcefully. Whatever it took to gain Jin's trust. The swords lodged into the camera, preventing anyone viewing them, once slashed open the activation switch, then lead on to wedge the door shut. Perfect aim. They were all alone. Tachikawa could take it from there.  
“What could you possibly do to help me, you… you… you freak?!”

 

“Well, I can try to help you start thinking regularly again…”

 

“The fuck are you on about?”

 

“Just trust me!”

 

“Why?!”

 

“Just… try this... don't look at the future... Don't trust it... Try using your head manually."

 

…

 

Jin depended on the futures to tell him about the past, present and future. He probably hadn't thought for himself in years. Jin paused and looked up at him, his beautiful blue eyes gazing up at him innocently.  
"Now tell me what you can remember about me..." He prompted, wondering what this was like. Jin hadn’t been thinking like a regular human his entire life… that in itself was incomprehensible. Jin was practically inhumane. It was so strange, to think that his brain functioned in such a different way, that he couldn’t handle normalcy.  
Jin backed away again, not that he had very far to run, his back hit the wall. "..."

 

"What are these?" he sounded intimidated. "What do they mean?" Tachikawa approached him, but it seemed that Jin no longer cared.

 

"You, care about me... We're laughing, we're fighting, and enjoying it... We're on patrol together, we're competing..." He sounded astonished. Shaking his head suddenly. He broke off.

 

"I... Love you..." Jin trailed off at that, pronouncing the three words as if it wasn’t meant to be the end of the list, but not being able to say much else afterward.

 

What?

 

…

 

Well…  
It might seem selfish to some others, but Tachikawa had an optimistic outlook when it came to loving Jin. He always felt that his chances were a little greater than most. Jin was about a flirty as they come, and that didn’t really stop at him.

 

Tachikawa felt his face warm up. Did he mean that? He might as well find out.  
"It's now or never..."

 

He had waited so many years to confess, the thought of doing it now seemed scary. He is ready for this...He told himself. His hands moved slowly as if his anxiety was weighing them down.  
Now, now, now, now, now, now, now.

 

His palm brushed Jin's cheek, soft and warm, other than the slick tear tracks that hadn't receded. Tachikawa shifted closer, Jin's hips pulling in his own like magnets, he was worried that he might lose control but tried not to let it get to him. Taking a brief moment to admire Jin's figure under his own, pinned to the wall. Their chests pressed together, Tachikawa could vaguely feel Jin's heartbeat. He felt himself reddening under Jin's electric blue stare. He saw a thin rosy powder work it's way onto Jin's face too.

 

Their foreheads touched gently.. they were so close. Tachikawa's thumbs brushed away some of the tears that slowly rolled down, and he felt Jin's pulse quicken. Maybe it was his own. He pressed his lips to Jin's. The moment they touched, Tachikawa was unsure if would be able to control himself. Somehow, Jin's lips were even better than he imagined, and he had imagined them often enough. They were so smooth, soft and luscious, his lips glided over them with ease. His hand reached up to tangle in Jin's hair. Feeling the smooth texture run past his fingertips made his heart ache even more. Jin's lips parted, allowing Tachikawa to get a better grip almost immediately. The outside friction wouldn't satisfy them for long, however, as Jin nibbled at Tachikawa's bottom lip, a sly request to insert his tongue. He obliged without question, still rather shell-shocked from the whole ordeal. 

 

His grip in Jin's hair tightened, his tongue brushing against his as they boldly reached between the other's jaws. Jin's mouth was wet, saliva dripping, tasting faintly of fruit and salt. It was coarse, sloppy, and one of the greatest things they would ever taste. He craved more, as he felt Jin's lips and teeth tugging, and his tongue rubs his inner cheek. Tachikawa almost gasped as Jin's fingers wrapped around his hips. His hands bent perfectly along the bone. The small amounts of desired friction from that weren't enough, he wanted more. He didn't take it any further, though, trying to keep himself in check. Drool slid past their lips, a combination of both of theirs, and more pooled up between them. He had to resist the urge to... feel him up. Mouths watering, Tachikawa instead pressed his lips up to Jin's harder. Jin began to stifle small moans around the other's mouth, more hums of pleasure. Tachikawa guiltily felt his pants get heavier, as Tachikawa started to suck at Jin's tongue. Hard. 

 

They wished they never had to stop, but Jin was still in a poor condition, do it had to end. Tachikawa took his time, though, because damn, his dreams couldn't even compare to the real thing. With Jin still gasping under him, he peeled himself off the succulent lips with some difficulty. He to, catching his breath, wishing he could do this all day. Jin looked up at him, behind the blue-ish plastic, Tachikawa could see his eyes fill with wonder as if contemplating whether or not this was happening. Maybe even a bit of expectancy. Either way, after a small silence, Jin was thrust right back under the weight of his life-changing situation.

 

It was an unreliable insanity.

 

That wonder-filled innocence didn't last very long as he found himself once again worrying about something other than Tachikawa's mouth. Jin's head was spinning, and not just from dehydration or sleep deprivation. How much was his life changing? This seemed to fast, how much of this was real? He was unsure.  
Tachikawa released his grip, and carefully, as if not to injure him, took Jin fully into his arms. He felt as if Jin belonged there, just within his reach, in his grasp. Jin didn't object as Tachikawa guided Jin's head into the crook of his shoulder, so he wouldn't have to see anything, no futures. Jin held on in return, but his grip was still flimsy. "It's going to be alright..." Tachikawa told him. "Everything will be just fine."

 

This was the reliable sanity that Jin needed.

 

"We can fix this, we can. We can make it through this..." Jin nuzzled into Tachikawa's neck, thinking that his little jump was adorable when he did. "J-Jin?" he blushed. "Are you with me?" Jin closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, Tachikawa's presence filling him up. Of course, he was. "I love you." was all he responded. "Er... Jin, I...." Tachikawa sighed, and then cracked a smile. "I love you too."

 

"Here," Tachikawa said, some time later. "Why don't you head back to the room and get some sleep. I need to go talk to Usami about some things,but I'll meet you there in a minute or so, alright?" Jin nodded, and retracted his arms, stepping away. "Sure..." he felt oddly vulnerable and alone now. Tachikawa pushed Jin's goggles up the bridge of his nose. "These are good for blocking out most futures, but they're not the most permanent thing in the world, I'll see what I can do about that." Jin nodded in a daze. "And don't look into anyone's future, ok?" he cautioned. "We are not doing this song and dance over again!"

 

His slid his hand into Jin's and pulled him towards an exit.

 

"We'll both be (un)reliable and (in)sane before you know it."


	5. Star Struck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He couldn’t tell anybody. He didn’t want them to panic. Osamu would be heartbroken, Chika would cry. So would Midorikawa, if they all knew that he was running out of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the new version of this chapter. Not romantic, and actually pretty sad. It's very different from the original story, and for a good reason. Thank god it is, because the original was trash.

“What’s wrong?”

 

…

 

His voice sliced through the thick layer of silence that had clouded the room.

 

Kuga frowned, the cool floor under his feet reminding him of where he was. He was home. He was always at home. 

 

The whole ship was out in the far reaches of space, the lights from their vessel shone right next to that of the nearby stars, which shimmered in a beaded print so effortlessly, it made you take a step back to question what you were really seeing. Who knows how long they would be out there… who knew what was out there? Now that he was there, on the away ship, within the cold, calming clutches of space once more, Kuga had really wanted to go see the stars again. In the dark, and by himself.

 

“I could ask you the same…” He asked cooly, not so much as glancing in Midorikawa’s direction. He refused, his eyes glued to the starry spots beyond the glass. He was at a loss for words. It was so comforting, gentle and vast… he had missed it so much.

 

Space, to Kuga, was always a step ahead. No matter where you looked, all the stars were right there, in front of you, and never behind you. Space seemed to engulf him, and he drowned in it. Space was his neighborhood, and the stars were his old friends. His family was made of the planets he’d visited, and the meteors were passerby strangers, that you knew you had seen more than once. Space was his everything.

 

Even if Meeden was his home now, he sometimes wished he could go back to someplace new, a new planet, another star. Why he hadn't thought of it sooner escaped him. Already wondering what he might see, he peered around the edges of his vision to see what other spectacles of wonder his eyes could capture.

 

He begun to feel something very strange. A stir in his chest, and tingle in his left eye, and he looked down at the stars that spotted the bottom view of the window.

 

It was happening again.  
He couldn’t tell anybody. He didn’t want them to panic. Osamu would be heartbroken, Chika would cry. So would Midorikawa, if they all knew that he was running out of time. He didn’t care. Death would be another old friend to him, right along with the stars, and he knew he had been dead for a long time. He really had died as an impulsive 11 year old child, and cheating death, was impossible. Every creature in the infinity of space would succumb to the demon of passing. It was fate. Yuma wanted more time, but he didn’t ask for more. He didn’t need more time. If death had decided that now was his time to fade away into the past, then it was to be. He hadn’t expected to last this long anyways. He should’ve died on that battlefield years ago, he deserved to. It’s the kind of lesson that is taught by stripping you of life altogether, and even though he was spared, that meant that the lesson never got it’s point across. He hadn’t learned, really. He didn’t need anymore time, he had gotten more time. He had met Osamu and Chika, and Jin, and Midorikawa, and Yosuke and Kage, and Murakami, he didn’t need anymore than that. He knew that he had helped them towards success in their lifetimes, and he knew that death would be more forgiving to them. It wasn’t their time. He was given more time to give others more time. And he would calmly fall into the hands of oblivion peacefully, knowing that he’d fulfilled his fate, and then some, and he would rest assured, knowing that he had forwarded those whose lives mattered, and were still intact. And that was all he had ever asked. That was enough.

 

He was satisfied.

 

The lights were out, but the room was fully lit, the walls were made of glass, or a trion substitute of it, and the glimmering galaxy leaked in from all sides that you could see. Mostly from the front, which was exactly where the universe belonged. Straight ahead, where it was impossible to lose.

 

From his first step in the room, Kuga was already blown away, and he could hardly contain his voice as the windows gave way to the gorgeous view. Infinite stars, stretching every witch way, illuminating the dark obsidian sky with a soft glow. Thousands of twinkling stars shining together, was so pure and perfect. Not a toe out of line. He had wondered how many times he had seen these stars before. Had he seen a few, all of them, or none of them? There was no way to know for sure, but Kuga loved the idea, that millions of little creatures were looking at the same stars he was, from trillions of miles away. Kuga's heart lurched as he thought of his old home when his gaze hit the distant planets. His old homes. Every one of them so unique, adding a small splash of individual color to the black and white glimmering masterpiece of the sky. All of his homes… he missed them all, and yet, here he was. He looked at the planets, and wondered how many people called those planets “Home”

 

A green planet, a blue, one orange, two whites and plenty too far away to really make out. An afterthought of his contemplation of inevitable death, his limited life, he remembered that this was it, this was the ending chapter of the short lived life that he lead, and he was happy to be surrounded by the stars for these last few months. 

 

On the couch and began to admire the web of space phenomenon. He couldn't believe he used to call it "home." Looking from the inside out for once, Kuga thought it was quite majestic. The neighbor sat there, trying to take it all in, knowing that out here, you'll never see the same thing twice. To anyone else, this awe inspiring, but to Kuga, maybe it was bitter-sweet. A pang of unexpected home sickness kept him focused on the stars before him, so much so, that he hadn't even heard the door open behind him. 

 

“I was just wondering what you were doing out of bed this late…” Midorikawa mumbled, and caught within his fast paced thought, Kuga had forgotten that he was still even standing there. MIdorikawa had probably paused momentarily too… anybody would.

 

Yuma took his time with a response, as he seemed to be doing a lot these days. He had known the end was coming, but now, the only thing he could do was enjoy everybody’s presence, and make sure every toe and word was in line, and perfect.

 

“I couldn’t quite sleep… I’m sorry if I woke you…”

 

Yuma wasn’t sure if he was sorry or not. Midorikawa was awestruck by the view, and he wanted to ensure that he spent plenty of time with his friends, sooner rather than later. He wanted to give him his best. So company was reassuring and fulfilling in a way. Midorikawa looked as if it was worth it, so he decided that he didn’t regret it. 

 

“It’s fine, I wasn’t asleep really either…” Midorikawa said, as Kuga scanned him for a lie, yet there was not a beat to be missed.

 

“I’m sorry about that.” He said, motioning towards the vacant seat next to him. “I understand what that’s like…”

 

Midorikawa shuffled over, before quietly whispering a small “I bet you would…”  
Kuga shifted his weight, before initiating the silence that started to pile up once more. It was relaxing, and the stars seemed to move ever so slightly, and Kuga took a split second to wonder how far away from earth they really were at the moment.

 

Midorikawa had learned that Yuma was a neighbor a few weeks ago. Yuma didn’t mind that he knew now. Shun was his friend, his beloved partner in crime, and it would be bitter for Midorikawa to have to learn the truths after the fact. It would be wrong for him to learn all the truths after he was gone. It would leave him feeling betrayed, and he wanted everybody to grow with his absence, not wither away. Shun had a right to know, so Yuma had taken him out to lunch and explained it to him. And Kuga felt a knife twisting in his heart as Midorikawa listened, and didn’t probe him for more answers than was given. He was so bloody grateful to have a friend who didn’t view him any differently for revealing a truth that he should’ve unveiled long ago. Shun understood, and seemingly only had more respect for Kuga as he said so. And having somebody like that hurt him so damn much. It was people like Midorikawa who made him WANT more time. Shun made him feel like he was alive again, and Yuma wanted so badly to stay with him for years and years. He wanted years of spars, years of bickering, years of laughter, years of meals, and stories, and mischief. He didn’t want to let him go. But he didn’t need him, therefore, he knew he could. He just wished he could tell Midorikawa to be strong for him when he was gone, without telling him what was happening.

 

The two of them turned their gaze back outwards to the universal light show.

 

There was more serene silence, and Yuma wondered what this would be like for somebody like Kikuchihara. Another persona he would dearly miss. A wise boy, arrogant, and prideful, but not really either of those things. Only defensive, and caring. What was silence like to him? Did he hear the blood pumping in his ears? Did he hear an agitated ringing? Little did Kuga know that Kikuchihara was already fast asleep, with Kazama’s soft snores in his ears, and his hand in his own.

 

“Well, what’s keeping you up?” Kuga asked finally, as the silence had begun to grow stale.

 

Midorikawa shrugged. “Nothing really, it’s just escaping me I guess…”

 

There was a discrepancy.

 

“Well that’s a sloppy lie.” He frowned. “I thought you’d have a better poker face.”

 

Midorikawa stiffened. “Damn you, I forgot you had that whole thing…”

 

“What ‘whole thing’?”

 

“The whole lie thing… you’re the worst, you know that?”

 

“Well of course I know! I’m told so everyday by you guys, but I still love ‘ya.” He said. ‘I love you guys more than you’ll ever know. My one regret is not being able to tell you how much it means to me that you’re all here.’ 

 

Another swirl came from the ghost of his wound, and he felt a slice of pain and dishonesty rise from his chest. 

 

‘I don’t want to leave you. I’ll miss you all so, so much.’

 

“Would you mind being honest? Liers bother me so…” He groaned, imitating a complaining royals men, before become serious again. 

 

“Really, I’m right here for you… and I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.”

 

…

 

Kuga was thankful that Replica was gone, because Replica would give him a stern talking-to for lying. He always did.

 

If only he was there.

 

“Thanks… I uh… maybe in a minute.” he said, looking down. “It’s, uh, kinda a big deal? I wasn’t expecting anybody to try to get the story out of me…”

 

“Consider this me paying you back for not running for the hills, or worse, hating me forever when you found out I was a neighbor.” He smiled. “Seriously dude, I owe you for that big time.”

 

Midorikawa looked puzzled. “Uh… no you don’t? It was seriously the least I could do for you… after all the great things you’ve done to help me… you really have pushed me to grow… you know?”

 

‘Stop it. Stop it, stop being kind, stop looking at me like you care, stop smiling, stop making me regretful that I don’t dare ask for more time. Stop it!’

 

“It’s okay to take it slowly.” Yuma hummed. “If you’re losing sleep over it, it can’t be any good… unless it’s a cute girl or something.”

 

“What?! NO! EW!” Midorikawa stuck out his tongue, mocking a revolted look. “My ‘romantic side’ was abandon in the city dump, where it belongs, long ago, thank you very much!”

 

“Yeah, no, I kinda figured that wasn’t it.”

 

“You know me so well…”

 

“No, you’re just very aggressive about thinking that romances are for nerds…”

 

“Do you not agree?”

 

“I mean, Osamu likes romance novels, and He reads them to me sometimes…” He swallowed. Osamu reading his sappy romance novels to him. He was going to miss that to. In the afterlife, Yuma might miss that just as much as he missed Osamu himself, right next to all his other friends.

 

“Well, you two need to get a room.”

 

“What does that mean?”

 

“Right, neighbor, sorry, nevermind.”

 

“Okay then…”

 

“Well, okay… so this is why I’m awake, right?”

 

Kuga nodded to show his support.

 

“Well, a few weeks ago, there was this group of kids picking on a new kid. He had just transferred into my middle school.”

 

“They sound like asses already.” Yuma pointed out, bluntly. He recalled Osamu telling him middle school horror stories. That place sounded like hell. “Sorry, continue.”

 

“No, they were…” Midorikawa smiled slightly, but his face was growing somber, as if recalling the details was painful. “Well, I decided to befriend the kid, he was real nice kid, I liked him a lot. Really kind, pretty funny, but for some reason these people just had it out for him…”

 

Kuga flinched. He had heard this tone before, and already he could fill in the entire story, but he let Midorikawa’s harsh tongue run it’s track.

 

“So, I guess I was trying to spare him some worry of these kids, right? But these kids just will not leave him alone, and I try to go to teachers and adults for help, but he tries to stop me, and that’s my first warning. Besides, the teachers I managed to tell anyways, never caught them in the act.”

 

Kuga nodded. “Who would bully a kid in front of a teacher or adult?”

 

“Exactly… well, I guess I was surprised he had yet to cry over it. He just got this… I dunno, defeated look on his face every time they came up to him, and started to rag on him. I’d tell them that they were wrong, and to stuff it, but he never did it himself… that was my second warning. And on the way home I asked him why he had yet to cry, because he was going through way too much, and he just shrugged and said they were right… which I tried to persuade him otherwise, but that was already my last warning. I was already too late to stop it.”

 

Yuma bowed his head. He knew very well what came next. Living your life on a battlefield will do that to you. It also hardened you.

 

Kuga reached for Midorikawa’s shaking hand as a sign that he was there, to help him and support him, no matter what happened.

 

“I was too late, I wished there was something I could’ve done… He was already on the roof, but thankfully he is safe now…” He breathed. “I don’t know how I could live with myself if he wasn’t… I don’t know how I can live with myself, even if he IS safe.”

 

Yuma nodded. “I understand. It’s a hard lesson, death is. He’s unforgiving, but thankfully, I think that death had greater plans for your friend… It’s a hard lesson to swallow…”

 

“I would know.”

 

...

 

“Hey, Yuma… I’ve been wondering…”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“If you could do one thing in the world, what would it be?”

 

Yuma replied without hesitation. He was quiet, yet definite.

 

“Midorikawa…” He sighed.

 

“I want to go home.”

 

Home. That had a very different meaning to everyone. Looking down at the A-rank agent with his hand in his, his way of showing friendship and companionship, Kuga wondered briefly what his definition of "home" was. It was probably loads different that his.

 

Funny how that works, isn’t it?

 

Midorikawa tilted his head over to rest on Kuga's shoulder as the tension passed. After another star-brought pause in reality, Midorikawa finally worked up the courage to ask something that he always had wondered. "What was it like?" Kuga didn't care anymore, and rested his head on Midorikawa's. He was going to miss them all.

 

"What was what like?"

 

"Traveling through the neighborhood! I wish I could do that someday. The planets are so beautiful, but with this Barrier technology, I guess that's impossible now, this Barriers stuff is gonna sancion us all off. So tell me, what was it like?" Kuga couldn't help but give a large response.

 

"It's like nothing you've ever done before... Every planet is so different, so unique, defined, so limitless. Infinite ways to live, infinite places too.” Kuga couldn’t help himself. In mere moments, he was grinning. He missed his home. He missed his travels, he missed his dad, and Replica. “So many creatures, friendly, oh, and some not. Genius to brainless, big and small, with every variation of everything. Amazing sights, good food, fascinating history. Everything. You'd stay there until you learn it all, then you move to the next planet and be blown away all over again." Kuga sighed, really missing his old lifestyle, but honestly, he was destined to give the rest of his days to Earth. There were certainly worse placed to end up living your final days.

 

"Why do you stay down here with us then?"

 

"Because this is the kindest planet I've ever seen.” 

 

Kuga thought for a split second, thinking it was a lie, but then realized, that it was actually the truth. 

 

“I'm not tired of you yet. Also, I have nowhere else to go." Kuga replied without more hesitation. Sure, at first he had barely been conceived enough to stay by Osamu, but he was so glad he did. "With my dad gone, and Replica too, I thought I would be alone here. I'm not. I have you and Osamu, Chika, Jin, Usami, Konami, and so many others. But maybe I stay most of all, because Meeden feels like a home, something I've always loved to have." 

 

Midorikawa seemed to relax at that. By the motion of the ship, an icy blue planet swung into view, bathing the room in a new subtle bluish light. "I'm glad you're still here. With all of us." He whispered into the dark room, shyly.

 

Kuga nodded slightly, he smiled. "Yeah, I am too."

 

Moments slipped into seconds, seconds passed to minutes. Minutes of laying there, warm and content as they both gazed in awe at the luminescent starscape before them. Midorikawa was the first to pull away, reluctantly retracting his arms from the first person to make him feel hopeful in a week. Surely he wasn't that pathetic, right? He was Shun Midorikawa, a part of the A-rank number 4 squad, he shouldn't have to depend on others so much. Risking a glance at his neighbor friend, he looked hurt. Maybe his mind was playing tricks on him now. He moved away to the opposite side of the couch. Blissfully letting the soft glow of the stars to empty his head. Ridding him of all his negativity and sorrows.

 

“Hey, Yuma?”

 

“Yes?”

 

Midorikawa paused, before stealing himself.

 

“Is it okay to be afraid of death?”

 

Yuma froze.

 

“I mean, Midorikawa, death is unknown, so it’s more of a question of, are you brave enough to face what you can’t prepare for, or can’t you?”

 

Midorikawa stopped to consider the notion before nodding. 

 

“Are you afraid of death, Yuma?”

 

Yuma turned his head, to look away guiltily.

 

“Midorikawa… you see… being a neighbor, death is a little different for me than it is for you, but I think I would go ahead and say that yes, I am.”

 

“Really?”

 

“I know that most people have accepted death as a fact of life…” Yuma said, trying to excuse himself. “But those are adults, and my brain can’t comprehend death the same way they do, and growing up on a battle ground, you see a lot of bad ways to go, and you hope it never happens to you.”

 

“That seems fair…” He mumbled. “Thanks… I was just wondering.”

 

“Are you afraid of death?’

 

MIdorikawa stopped dead, before slowly nodding.

 

“I’ve been really scared for a few nights…” he confessed, turbulence in his voice. “I guess I can’t imagine what I’d have done if he hadn’t survived… I guess I’m overthinking it, but that was literally life and death, and I can’t shake it! I’ve never dealt with anything like it before!”

 

“And there’s your answer…” Yuma said, flatly. “You’ve never seen it before, it’s reasonable to be more than a little scared, you really just need to try to branch out a bit. There are plenty of people here that would love to help you though this problem, they are all willing to talk to you… have you spoken with Yosuke or Izumi yet?”

 

Midorikawa shook his head, no words coming from him.

 

“You haven't? Oh, come on Midorikawa, you’re doing what your friend did. You have to help yourself before you can accept help from others. Those two would be great for you to talk to. They love you, and they know you well, and I know that they will help you through this… It’s a process, but trust me, it does get better. And I know, death is scary at first, but you have to be patient, and think this though. I believe in you, you can do this.”

 

“Yuma, you know I-”

 

"Well well! What have we here?"

 

The two boys jumped and whipped around to see the cocky man standing in the doorway. "Yoneya!" Midorikawa gasped, surprised. 

 

‘Speak of the devil…’

 

He leaned up against the doorway edge, arms folded, his hair a mess, cocking one eyebrow and smiling like a madman. "The one and only." he smirked. "Thanks for the warm welcome… Now explain to me what i’ve just walked in on?”

 

Yuma looked down at the hand that was still concealing Midorikawa’s, and he understood what Yosuke was getting at. "YOYAN!" "Hey hey, I know the feeling. Sorry to say, but I beat you to the punch buddy." he said, with a good natured wink.

 

“You know it’s not like that!”

 

“Awe, are you grumpy?”

 

Midorikawa scowled. “You suck…”

 

"Aww, you two are adorable!" Yousuke teased, trying to refrain from bursting out laughing.

 

“You sir, are an asshole.” Midorikawa said, sticking his tongue out at him. 

 

“I know, I know… Somebody had to…” He smiled. “I didn’t expect anybody to be awake, what gives, you guys?”

 

Kuga shrugged. “The stars were nice, and neither of us could sleep.”

 

Yosuke smiled, making his way across the dark kitchen. “Yeah… I can get behind that…” He smiled. 

 

“I’d join you, but I’m tired, and you boys might want some alone time… if ‘ya, catch my drift…”

 

“Yoyan, I swear to god!”

 

Yosuke laughed again, before reaching up for the glasses. “Hey, it’s okay, like I say, you’re not really friends until people mistake you for gay lovers…”

 

“But you ARE gay!”

 

“Yeah, but not for Izumi like everybody thought!” He said indignantly.

 

“Fair point… you and Miwa-”

 

“Hey!” He yelped. “Yuma’s here!”

 

“Speaking of…” Midorikawa grinned widely, surprising Kuga how fast his mood had changed. He was too good at concealment.

 

“You’ve been sharing’ a room with him… how’s that going?” He asked, giving a cheeky grin.

 

He glanced and nodded at the door which Yousuke had come from. Kuga raised his hand. "Um... What are you to even talking about?"

 

He was promptly ignored.

 

“Actually, we are uh… we’re enjoying it… uh, it finally worked out.”

 

“Wait, what?!”

 

“Yeah… guess who manned up a little?” Yosuke smiled, doing some half asleep finger guns. 

 

“You wouldn’t believe how it happened…”

 

“Wait, seriously? You and Miwa are together now?! How?”

 

Yosuke yawned, before smiling at Kuga’s clueless expression. 

 

“That’s a story for another day, buddy. I love you guys but, Miwa don't want anybody knowing quite yet. He’s pretty shy as far as these things go… keep a secret?”

 

Midorikawa nodded, and Kuga mumbled a small “Sure thing…” 

 

Yosuke was really the kind of person to carry around change. There was never a dull moment with Yosuke, which was the difference between him and Izumi and Midorikawa. Yosuke loved change, and always had news. There was always something happening, while the other two liked a set routine, and time to relax and laze about. But Yosuke and Miwa?

 

Good for them.

 

Yosuke smiled and nodded sighing, happily. "But don't you dare tell anyone else, alright? Shuji will have my ass over an open fire for that." He said, as he filled up two cups. 

 

“We won’t.”

 

“Hey, why are you grabbing two?”

 

Yosuke stopped. 

 

“Well… Shuji just had a night-”

 

He looked down. 

 

“A night terror.” 

 

His voice seemed hollow, as if slightly upset that this was the reality, and cards that he had been dealt, or rather, the cards that Miwa had been dealt. He sounded sad, but immediately picked it up.

 

“We’ll be okay though, I guess I was just surprised. I didn’t know he had them until he woke up crying, and clinging to me.”

 

Midorikawa choked, grinning.

 

“Wait, okay, lemme get this straight…”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“You two are in the same BED?!”

 

“It's not like that!” Yosuke stuttered, setting down the first full glass, and filling the other. The water pressure systems were out of whack, and Midorikawa wondered how full the water tanks were for the expedition.

 

“He’s just…” Yosuke turned away, mortified. “He’s just…”

 

“Clingy…” 

 

Kuga smiled with the other two. He could see that. Miwa probably hadn’t seen too much affection in his lifetime, he could visualize his need for it. It made sense for him to be chasing Yosuke then, in a way. Heartwarming.

 

“And cuddly… and… very, very, loveable…”

 

“Oh, Yosuke’s going soft!~” Midorikawa teased, devilishly. “Wait till I tell Izumi, dude, he’s gonna manipulate the shit outta you for that!”

 

“You. Wouldn’t. Dare.”

 

“Oh, you know I would!”

 

Yosuke set the second glass down, and leapt down to them, descending upon Midorikawa to give him a rough noogie.

 

“Hey! Ow, OUCH! Okay, OKAY, fine! You can tell him, but you can’t keep it a secret forever!”

 

“Yeah, and consider yourself lucky I told you anything!” He grunted, releasing him, and Midorikawa rubbed his head, trying to smooth out his hair again. “I only said so because I’m too damn happy to keep it to myself, and I’m trusting you!” He stepped back to the sink, and grabbed his cups.

 

“Well, as much as I like hanging with you all, I can’t leave him in there… have a goodnight you two, and please, get some sleep. You need it.”

 

“Goodnight Yoyan!” Midorikawa grinned, seeming more happy to have some dirt on his friend. 

 

“Night Yosuke.” Kuga bid, politely. He would miss Yosuke too. He would miss seeing him and Midorikawa playing their immature games, and Izumi rolling his eyes, and joining them anyways. He’d miss the three musketeers that they were. They were a package deal, and were very special.

 

Yosuke closed the door behind him with a soft click, and then it was back to normal. 

 

Yuma wasted no time.

 

“So, Yosuke has a thing for Miwa?”

 

“Oh, yes, oh dear god, he’s been chasing him like a dog for years. Kinda sad, really.”

 

“Seriously? I had no idea…”

 

“Well, how often do you hang around him and Miwa?”

 

“Fair point. I like Yosuke, but I don’t want to anger Miwa. Why? Was he really obvious?”

 

Midorikawa sniggered. “Maybe just a little. God, he was the whole deal… over protective, possessive, supportive, caring, following him, complimenting him… I thought that Miwa knew and was just letting it play out, but who knew? Turns out he actually IS that socially unaware…”

 

“I’m glad it’s all worked out for them though… But I feel that maybe loving somebody like Miwa might take a lot of effort.” Yuma said, frowning in thought.

 

“Yosuke loved him more than enough to do whatever he needs too… you saw him just now. He was more saddened over the fact that Miwa has to go through with this, and didn’t have support before than he was about being woken up… he didn't seem mad about that in the slightest.”

 

“You’re right.”

 

“Night terrors though? On top of everything else? Miwa’s got it rough…”

 

“He’s not all bad.” Yuma said, thinking back to his past encounters. “He’s a good kind of stubborn, and I’d bet you anything that his first concern in life is protecting his loved ones…. He’s very devoted and loyal with his friends…”

 

“You mean ‘friend.” Midorikawa frowned. “Yosuke’s really the only one.”

 

“Well, all the more reason why all those good things won’t change now.”

 

Midorikawa nodded. “You’re right. I guess I’m just worried about Yosuke making the right choice… I’m being paranoid.” He looked back out at the stars. 

 

“He know’s what he’s doing.”

 

And silence lapped at the edges of their vision along with the stars. Nothing moved after that, and all was still and quiet.Yuma liked it this way... Nice and silent.

 

Midorikawa looked about ready to fall asleep when he sprung another question.

 

...

 

“Yuma… knowing you’re a neighbor, and in the condition that you are… how long do you think you’re going to last?”

 

...

 

Yuma swallowed. Midorikawa was really good at unknowingly asking all the wrong questions. Or all the right questions? Yuma was unsure.

 

Yuma hated lying… hadn’t he said that already?

 

“Midorikawa… I don’t know how long I have left…” He sighed. “I haven't a clue… why?”

 

He shrugged meaningfully. “I guess I’m still just scared…”

 

“That’s okay.”

 

“What’s that?”

 

“It’s okay to be afraid.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Of course… but the only thing we can do is either conquer the fear, or avoid it as best as we can, while staying positive. Those are the only cures for fear.”

 

Midorikawa nodded. “I guess…”

 

“So which one’ll it be?”

 

….

 

There was another prolonged state of silence and tranquility, and Midorikawa stared intently at a star before finally finding his voice to say:

 

“I guess I want you to help me get over it… and avoid it after that.”

 

Yuma nodded. “Good choice. How do you want to start?”

 

Midorikawa shifted, embarrassed, and Yuma could already tell that he had a prepared answer.

 

“I want you to name a star.”

 

“What?”

 

“When we get back to earth. I want you to name a star after yourself, so if I outlive you, I won’t feel so alone, and when I look up at the stars, I know you’ll be there for me, a billion miles away.”

 

Yuma took a moment to consider the idea before laughing. 

 

“What? Is that lame? I just like space, okay?”

 

“No, I’d love to name a star for you, it made me happy to hear, that’s all…”

 

“Oh, thanks, I’d like that alot…”

 

…

 

“Midorikawa.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Star or not… I want you to know something.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“ I’ll always be with you, no matter what, no matter how long I live, and how soon I die, I will never, ever leave your side. I promise, just because one day, I’ll be gone, it doesn't mean that I never existed at all, right?”

 

He nodded, and looked relieved.

 

“And let me promise you something.” He said, reaching for his friends hand again, and staring out at the largest star he could see.

 

“In the time I have left, we could go anywhere in this universe, I promise you that. Wherever you want to go, whenever, we could do it, we could make it. I know we could…” He said definitely.

 

“Really?”

 

“We could make it anywhere.”


	6. Distance Makes The Heart Grow Fonder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this is an unpopular ship, I just kinda like it... I dunno, I doubt I'll ever write these two ever again, they just seemed to fit into the story well

"Distance makes the heart grow fonder.”

That was a peculiar phrase that had always really spoken to Kodera. He was fond of the saying, and saw both the honesty and dishonesty in every letter each time the phrase met his gaze, or resounded in his ears.  
Then again, there was many things about love that were contradictory, and a completely and purely honest statement about love, he believed, would never exist.

Kodrea knew that love could be destructive, and distracting, so he never tried to think to hard about it.

However, he knew that distance didn’t make the heart grow fonder, it made the heart wish to close the gap between comrades. Maybe that only worked if the heart already wanted something. Or someone.

The ship trembled and bounced a bit, and Kodrea looked up from his work in abject horror. He was zoning out, but that made it all the more terrifying to have his thought interrupted. He was afraid of the velvet infinity that now surrounded him, and at the moment only a thin sheet of glass protected him from a royal, glittering doom. Space was a tad bit terrifying, and, unfortunately for Kodrea, got even more intimidating the more you read into it.

Kodera had certainly done his fair share of research on space. It scared him even more now. Go figure.  
He had been hunched over piles of some rather crude paperwork, with charts and diagrams showing the popularity, assess ranges, and duration of views of Border broadcasts. A favor for Netsuki of sorts. He accepted the challenge, as he was away, to productively busy himself on the trip, figuring he wouldn't have much else to do. Besides, he knew how overloaded the Arashiyama squad could get, and was the least he could do to help them. He didn’t talk to them much, other than Satori, but they were all very kind to him, and didn’t speak down to him, which made him accept and appreciate their presence.  
Originally, he wasn't even assigned to the cross dimensional expedition. However, Narusaka had gotten very sick at the last moment, and Kodera had been thrown into the fray last minute, as Narusaka stay home, being cared for by Toma.

…

Why was he not surprised?

He felt out of place for that reason, that he hasn't even made it on board in the first place. He avoided talking to the others for this reason, and tried to practice often, so maybe, just maybe he would be of some help when they got there, because as of now, he wasn't quite sure whether or not he was a waste of space, and he had a creeping feeling that maybe he was, and that the rest of the crew agreed.

Oh well. He leafed through his intimidating stack of papers, in an attempt to find the duration of listeners of a new talk show, surprise surprise, run by Izumi. It had only had three sessions, and was already one of the most popular extra curricular Border broadcasts. Kodera had only heard a few minutes of the first one, a session he was sure would be awkward and stuffy because, well, wasn’t the ‘first’ episode of season of entertainment always like that? However, Izumi was a ham, and it already sounded like he had been running the show for years. He was witty, and relaxed, and had to many stories to tell, a few of them admirable, some were to be expected of a guy like him, but most of them stupid in that ‘I can’t believe he did that once, oh god, I want to hear more about this.’

Kodera smiled to himself as flipped through the papers as he recalled tuning into some ludicrous story about Izumi and Yosuke throwing a washing machine into the garbage dump of a nearby zoo, only to accidentally throw it into the otter tank. And he wasn’t sure how to feel about the fact that he didn’t doubt it. Same thing he always seemed to be doing.

The door opened.

He looked up again, he hadn't expected anybody else to be awake for another half hour. Last morning had indicated that the majority of the crew were anything but early birds. But there she was, standing in the doorway, her sweet smile of surprise spreading across her face. Kodera was unsure if she was the first, or last person he wanted to see at the moment.

Usami.

Her hair was clipped back, and her glasses shone in the light. "Kodrea! Hey, good morning!" She chirped. Kodera vaguely felt his shoulders tense up, a nervous habit. "I didn't expect you to be up yet..”  
She smiled. "I was going to wait for you, but you beat me to it, I need to talk to you!”

“Um, yeah, good morning! Need to talk to me?” He mumbled quizzically to himself.

Usami walked up to him, her ever-present fuzzy socks, purple today, muffling her footsteps. "Uh, can I help you?" He asked, voice going up in pitch as she came closer. Real smooth.

She bit her lip. "Yeah, actually... you can." She sat down beside him, looking unsettled. And Kodera, who was already pressed up against the armrest of the sofa tried to do it even more, to try and put some distance between them. She was right there. Dear god, if he couldn’t hold himself together, this was going to get messy.

"Hey, what'cha workin’ on?"

He felt himself losing grip on the rationale that he clung to like an animal. Why were girls so… I dunno, perfect sometimes? It was hard to explain. He knew he was maybe more than a little desperate, judging by a search history filled with links results of behavioral experiments about human interaction and infatuation. Three cheers for the lonely. His chances with Usami, currently, were a 7/100 chance. A rather pathetic statistic.

"Kodera?"

"Huh?"

He was lost in his own head again. "Oh, uh, sorry, I was helping out Netsuki and Arashiyama out. Seeing the most accessible, most popular and view durations of our media. Comparing it all, and calculating the ratios of all-"

"To see what we should do more of." She finished for him, peering down at his work. "Interesting."

“...Yeah, something like that."

Everything seemed to get so awkward when Usami showed up. The other gender was like the other side of the moon to him... Or maybe he just wasn't good with women.

Whatever.

He tried to tell himself that he didn't care, but got worried as Usami began to check his math. Thankfully, after a minute or so, she found nothing wrong with his work, saving whatever small morsels of pride he had.  
Temporarily. His heart ached a small bit. Kodera had no idea how to carry himself around her.

Lovesick was the word for it. Right? Like-sick? Crush-sick? Who cared?

Without noticing, his hand was grabbing at his heart. The feeling, it was madness. He was unsure of whether or not he loved it, or loathed it. It certainly frustrated him, though. Something so powerful that couldn't be controlled or calculated.

"Kodera?"

"What? Sorry." He was doing it again. Another one of his nervous habits. His anxiety was unrivaled.  
"Oh, nothing. You were just spacing out."

"Oh, okay then. Anyway, what is this about helping you?" Kodera wasn't one to slack without good reason.

"Yeah... about that..." She looked away, sheepishly averting her gaze.

"I wanted to know if maybe you..." she covered her mouth with her hand.

"Doyouwannabemysecondforthemission?” She squeaked.

It took Kodrea a moment to decipher that. The sacred way she had said it, good heavens he wasn't making her say it again. He may be clueless when it came to her, but he had respect and common sense. He did allow himself to admit to himself how bashful and cute she looked like that.

Wait.. What?

"Would you wanna be my second for the mission?"

Hold on a minute… that is what she said, right?

His eyes widened a small bit and his heart skipped a beat. How did ANYONE ever handle themselves around the people they liked? Not his focus now…

"What? Me? You're second?" He shook a small bit. "Why me?"

"Oh, so you don't want to?"

"Huh? No! no, no, no, I do, it's just that, oh god, um, there are so many better options here!"

Usami frowned. "What do you mean by better options? What are you on about?" She shifted a little closer.  
"Kodrea, I couldn't think of anybody more suited for the job, I really wanted somebody who could double check my answers, and is a good friend." She leaned over, her side brushing Kodrea's. "Please?"

Kodera tried to conceal his heated cheeks, but it came to no avail.

"I mean, yes, of course, but only if you're really sure you want to have me..."

Was this really happening?

"Yes!" she smiled. "I was so worried you would turn me down!" She sounded rather excited. "Oh, Thank you!"

-And Kodera had to catch his breath as Usami's arms wrapped around him.

She was hugging him.

He twitched and his stomach turned. Yes, he was certain that lovesick was the word he had been looking for. Why couldn't he make thing easier for himself? Maybe he really was distant. most other people would have a much better-

"Hey hey, what's the occasion?"

Kodrea looked up to the door again. His prediction of when everybody would be up had been seriously off. Miwa and Yosuke stood in the entrance, Miwa hunched behind him, as if hiding. The intrusive comment had been a courtesy of Yosuke, obviously. Usami removed her arms from him, and wished them a good morning. Kodera barely heard them. He was in a muddled state of temporary mental disorder. Maybe he should do more research into anxiety after all.

"Kodrea just agreed to be my second on my mission!" She sounded very pleased. Kodera had no idea why.  
"Oh! Good for you two!" Yosuke beamed. Kodrea looked up at his teammate, his face pleading a silent, small Help me! Yosuke understood, but just shrugged, winked at his teammate sympathetically, and gave him a look that read:

This is your love life, not mine, you can figure it out.

Miwa just nodded at him, not wanting to say anything, but acknowledging what was happening for his friend.  
Something had been different about the two of them, and Kodrea knew why. Just two nights ago he caught the two of them on the couch... cuddling. Yousuke had fallen asleep on Miwa, and Miwa just held him, and kissed the top of his head. Not that he should say anything out loud, but it was odd to think about. Now wasn't the time for it.

There, as Usami told him to meet her in the lab tomorrow, his fate was sealed. He would have to bare the pressure of hours, studying with the girl he liked tomorrow afternoon, and not screw anything up. And for his sake, not make an ass of himself either. A rather tall order, in his book.

X

He stood outside the lab door. Where had the past hours gone? He wasn't ready for this.  
He nervously tried to untangle the knots in his stomach with trembling fingers. Anxiety didn't even begin to describe it. It was odd, normally, he could do work like this with no problem, but the closer he was to her, the harder he found it to focus. 

It was honestly less of anxiety and more of a subdued panic. He could never figure out if he loved or hated the feeling that spun in his gut. Yes, it was pleasant, but more often than not it was frustrating and got in his way. It was also embarrassing, and he was never good at hiding anything like this.

Miwa had called out his crush from day one, and all the others caught on very fast. Even Yosuke, who, as much as Kodrea admired him, could be a little thick at times.

Speaking of which, Yosuke had just come to his room with Miwa, to wish him good luck for today. He knew they were trying to support him, but the sight only multiplied his nerves.

Yet, here he was.

There was no backing out now. Commander Kido's orders had been clear. Cooperate.

-and there was nothing that he could really do. It would be good If he didn't mess anything up. Unfortunately for him, he tended to get physically and mentally clumsy in situations like this, and he doubted his ability to think straight or think at all. Somehow, in his hand, he found the doorknob, and cautiously let himself in. He relaxed at the sight of the room. He was much more relaxed than he anticipated. The pastel colors of the walls were warm and happy, and space looked more like a child's bedroom than a lab, if it weren't for the large control panel in the back. Usami had clearly taken it upon herself to modify the ship's interior design. Kodrea just couldn't imagine Commander Kido creating a space like this.

Usami was lounging on a beanbag in the corner by her extensive bookshelf. She looked up for her manga when Kodrea stepped in. Smiling, she closed her book. "Oh, there you are! ready to get to work? Sit down." She nodded at a small sofa in the middle of the room with a coffee table at its foot. It was more of a larger loveseat in reality, but Kodrea thrust the thought from his mind.

Usami stood up, extending her thin legs in a stretch. "Ahh... I'm so glad to be working with you, Shohei. Anybody else would have been a nightmare, or not as fun, with the exception of Osamu or Jin, but this is still better... Oops, sorry..."

Usami caught the expression on Kodera's face as he unintentionally tread on a fuzzy sock. This really was her room. "So, anyway..." Usami began, trying to distract from that.

"We are going to land on Leques sometime tomorrow... and I have some rather frightening data..."

"What are we getting into?"

"The hardest challenge that Border has ever faced."

"Even harder than the Aftokrator invasion?"

"Yes..." Usami sounded both terrified and mystified by the mere concept. "It's the most dangerous nation we have ever heard of, and Replica couldn't give us much information. They are dangerous..."

Kodrea's stomach dropped. this wasn't sounding good... "So it's danger from the unknown..." he fretted. 

"Right."

Usami nodded, now sounding a little less pleased. Kodera frowned. "So, you activate the first trigger, then we wait for it to set, then I activate the second?" "Exactly, but I don't want any trouble so we need to figure out how long it takes to set."

X

The whole ordeal played out in a more agreeable manner than he thought possible. It could've been focus or luck, but all of his calculations went without a flaw.

He did notice, however, that he over complicated things. Usami would often point out a less complex way to solve an equation. Kodera was maybe enjoying himself too much, because he didn't realize when several hours had passed.

"Here we can take a break now if you'd like." Kodrea looked up from his place hunched over the table, coated with layered up papers. "Why? Do you need me to leave or something?" Usami looked at him in the eye blankly. "No... it's time for dinner." She pointed at the time on her phone 6:13 p.m.

"Oh, that's alright with me, we can stop." He looked down, maybe a minute or two away from the facts and figures would help him refocus. He doubted it, of course, but it was worth a try.

"I think I have some instant ramen in the back, if that's alright with you" "Yeah sure, that's fine." He wasn't terribly picky, besides he didn't want to make it seem like he was judging her and her... questionable lifestyle.

X

The session has been a tad awkward, and despite the attempt to break the ice he was afraid to say anything, afraid of a reaction. They had enough common to talk, but as the silence only thickened, Kodera was beginning to doubt that.

Maybe they weren't compatible after all…

She wasn't going to like him anyway…

Or maybe he was just nervous. Whatever.

Like space, the situation only got more desperate the more he thought about it. He had been literally shaking when he first entered, and even now he could feel his fingers anxiously twitch. He was helpless.  
Yet, somewhere in that data wired amalgamation of thought, he had Sparks of imagination amongst the flickering numbers and facts. He could wish and dream just like anyone else.

The remaining minutes dragged on and flew by all at once. Conversation over steaming styrofoam cups was forced, but not distant. Similar and friendly, but lacking in any given topic. Kodrea felt his muscles and memory fumbling with his chopsticks, and his sense of security was fading with every passing moment. Holding a conversation was harder than crunching the numbers, he found. Not that that has been doing well either. He was relieved as he plugged in the final numbers.

"Almost done, almost done, almost done."

16 minutes 23 seconds.

"Well, there we go." she smiled down at him. "16 minutes and 23 seconds." "You know, that doesn't seem like that long... I was expecting longer." Kodera admitted. "I think we can manage that." Usami looked back at him.  
"Well, you think that for now. Have you seen these neighbors? They are insane!"

Kodera was less concerned about the neighbors than he was caught up in his accomplishment. "I didn't screw the whole thing up..." It was almost a shock.

He shook his head. "No, I haven't gotten the chance to check the files yet, sorry..." but truthfully, because he wasn't going onto the field, he didn't really care.

He faith in his team, and the others. However, now that she mentioned it he was getting more than slightly concerned. Staying true to herself, Usami had the papers spread before him in a matter of moments, and he knew, more than ever, what he was in for.

X

It was strange really, he was terrified of space and where he was but he kept forgetting his location. He had for a moment forgotten about his roommate. The door clicked into place behind him and Kodrea wasted no time in seeking to the floor in a fit of embarrassment, disbelief, exhaustion, and lovesickness.

Distant, he would call it. He was feeling distant. His forgotten roommate also wasted no time.

"Hey are you alright?" Kodera jumped I looked up to see Osamu, captain of the Tamakoma 2 looking down at him.

He had a book in one hand, and his reading light put a gleam in the rear lens of his glasses. He was sitting on the edge of the furthest bed facing star coated window, away from him. He looked concerned, of course, he rarely looked any different, and Kodera would bet that he looks rather pathetic the moment. Osamu closed his book, than shifted over to the closer side of his bed, creaking the mattress as he did.

"What happened? I thought you were with Usami, did you run into any problems?"

He would have loved to say, "Yes, I ran into problems" but Osamu could clearly see that, and he knew what the captain was really asking about.

"No we figured most of it out" his head shrunk behind his hands but between his fingers he caught or sound skeptical expression. "most of it" Osamu repeated. His tone was dry and flat, as if he knew already going on, but wanted the other person to say it. to realize it.

Kodera wanted to die on the spot. There was no way in hell he would say any of this out loud, to somebody he hardly knew no less! However, much to his despair, it was far too late for that.

Osamu had an easier time reading other people that he did his Perpetual textbooks... or whatever it was he was always reading. Behind the glass, Osamu's eyes bore into him and Kodrea concealed his eyes, hiding his face from sight. Osamu's eyes less bore into him, and more saw right through him. And after a long silence the sniper dragged out in the hope of ridding of it, he finally accepted his fate.

"You, uh, know, figured it out... haven't you?"

Osamu nodded.

"Uh... you could have done a better job of hiding it..." He said, as if trying to lighten the mood, only it didn't work at all. "Shut up..." Kodera his face, flushing red. Then immediately regretting the mean-spirited words.

"Sorry..."

"No, it's okay... it's just... I don't know what to do! do the others know? What should I do? What am I supposed to do? I've never done this before! You will have to help me!" He noticed how he sounded, and let silence befall him. Osamu only gave to him a look of sympathy.

"I mean, Kodrea… I'll do what I can but I don't think I will be a great help... Mind if I sit down?" Kodera shook his head and moved to make room for Osamu.

"Here, let's discuss something else for a moment, it's going to be ok... "mmm...okay" came Korea's muffled reply. "Well... okay..." Something told Kodera that he maybe wasn't the most social of people, and maybe struggled with conversation.

"So... how did the calculations go?"

"Well, we arrive on Leques tomorrow afternoon, and we need to stall for 16 minutes 23 seconds. I'll stay with Usami during that time, and we all need to be cautious."

Osamu frowned. "Only 16 minutes? That should be easy! The last Expedition we were on Aftokrator for a whole day saving Replica the other victims... what's the catch?"

" We know from Replica that it's one of the smallest nations in the neighborhood, with one of the smallest armies to boot, but Aftokrator recently tried invading...And they had to retreat.”

Osamu nearly choked. “You're kidding!” “I’m not, I have a bad feeling about this, and to make it worse or bailout system may not work!”

Just 16 minutes.  
“Be careful, okay?” 

“But how is that possible?” Osamu flustered.

“Were Aftokrator even trying?”

“No clue, but I can't imagine them half-assing anything. Something bad is going on, I'm just worried for everyone. Though knowing everyone's skills, as long as we stick together we should all be okay... I hope…” However, his fear was trikling into his tone of voice, betraying his real emotions. 

“I hope so too… So what's happening with you and Usami?” Osamu asked again, softly, trying to ease the tension. “Start wherever, and you can only have to share what you’d like, but it might be good to get it all off your chest. You can trust me, I promise.” 

Osamu was probably right. “I… I… I, I like her alot…” He said, looking down, before realising that love made him sound like an idiot.

“It's the kind of hopeless though... I rarely see her and I don't even know if she single! she probably isn't. I don't know where to start... I've never really had a brain for this kind of thing, trust me I have tried, I have done a lot of Behavioral research on the subject but I… I…” Osamu raised an eyebrow. “You…” Kodrea let out something of a whine. “I can't do this!”

“Yes you can.”

Kodrea looked up at Osamu. “WHAT?”

“Yes you can!” Kodrea flustered. “Were you even listening to me? hell will freeze over twice before I even have a remote chance with her!” Osamu looked confused. “Then consider it winter in hell.” Kodrea blinked confusion.

“You give up too easily, but that's why I'm here to help. To start, Usami is single, and I know that she really admires you…”

“Admires ME?”

“Yeah, you should start small... just start telling her you would like to see her more often and see where things go from there”

Kodera shaking his head in a panic. “No, no, no, there is no way!”

“Maybe that's why you're having problems…” Osamu said thoughtfully. “You give up too easily and move on so fast, Maybe Usami is scared that you don't seem to care enough to go after her…”

Kodera stopped. That very well could be it, if she did like him... which she most certainly didn't.

Osamu stood up. “Well I'm sure you're tired, you should get some sleep. Just remember that your secret is safe with me, I'm always here to talk, alright?”

Then the Milky light of the window, they slept.

Somewhere down the hall, however, a similar scene unfolded.

“Konami!” Usami cried the second she was in the room, door practically slamming behind her. Konami looked up from her phone on her bed. “What? What, what happened? Who do I need to kill? I HAVE A FORK!”  
Usami stopped. “Aah... nobody?”

“Than what’s all the ruckus for, you scared me!”

“Sorry!”

“It's fine, what's up?”

…

“Oh.”

“Honestly, if you like him so much you could try to show him!”

Usami buried her face in her pillow. 

“I try! I do! But he just isn't catching on at all!”

“Well, then be more obvious!” Konami bluntly stated. “It isn't that hard.”

“I don't want to scare him off!”

Konami frowned. “If he hasn't caught on give him a little more to catch on.”

“is it really so simple?”

“Who has a boyfriend?” Usami bowed her head. “Right, sorry.”

“it's fine I'm still not used to it myself…”

“I just feel like I'm under thinking this! We are talking about... you know…”

“Kodera?” Konami supplied. “Please, you can't even say his name without blushing!” It was true. Even now Usmai hid her head and face behind her hands.

“OH! Oh my gosh, before I forget there's something I have to tell you! Something juicey you’ll probably want to know! But you have to promise me something.”

“What am I promising?”

“I make you promise after”

This was probably a bad idea but she trusted Konami. “Fine…”

“It'll be worth it!” she promised.

“Well then go on! what is it?” she smiled.

“Somehow, so far on this trip walked in on, not one, but two very unexpected couples!” "Oh my god who?"  
She thought she knew one of them, but not the second. 

“Alright, first one. Okay, so I go to train for a little bit, keep myself in shape, ya know? So I go to plug in your Marmod simulation USB in the operation room, right? And for some reason, the camera is down! So I had to see what was happening…”

Usami had a feeling she knew who this was.

“So, naturally I switch to a backup camera…” Now that Usami had started, she couldn't stop smiling.  
“It was Kazama and Kikuchihara.”

She had not expected that. She could totally picture it, though.

“And get this... they were making out. In the corner.”

“You’re kidding me!” but Usami knows that Konami didn't lie. “I'm not!”

“Details?” “I couldn't hear them, there is no sound on the backup camera, but Kazama had Kiku pinned to the wall and he seemed to be whispering things to him, kissing. Both were blushing like crazy!”

“I always had a hunch that Kiku was into dudes, but Kazama? Oh shit, that's so cute!”

“And what's even cuter is the height difference!”

Usami laughs. She hadn't even considered that. “Who else?”

“This one is super cute! Okay, yesterday morning, I’m the last to wake up, and I hear Yuma and Midorikawa…” 

“Oh?” “Yeah, he was apologizing for something that happened 'last night'.”

“What was it?”

“No idea, sorry.”

“Okay, continue…”

“So Yuma says it was all OK as long as he was safe, and Shun just smiles and says ‘That he can’t wait to see what star he’ll name’.”

“Really now? WHat the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“I have no idea, and Kuga just sat there blushing green!”

“What about Jin and Tachikawa?”

“Who now?”

“They got together too! They fell asleep in the lobby, they're out there right now!”

They gossiped a for a little while longer before Konami finally made her move.

“Now, you have to do exactly as I say, no backing out now!”

“Fine, god, what messed up thing did I sign myself into?”

“You have to make a move on Kodrea before we arrive.”

“WHAT?!”

X

Kodera was in the finishing up his favor, and nervously tapping his foot, not really thinking about it. How on earth could he do this?

But Osamu was right. he needs to focus on the positives of the situation. He thought of Yosuke and Miwa coming to visit him, Yosuke’s big smile and hug accompanied by a “Go get her!” Miwa also giving him one of those rare smiles and an “If I can do it, so can you” Osamu’s uplifting words of encouragement rang in his ears…

“Good morning Kodera... I was wondering if we can maybe talk later?”  
Usami.

“Uh, yeah, sure, of course, do you want to talk now?”  
“Ah, no, later…”

…

…

…

They never got to talk.

…

They landed two hours later, four hours too soon.

…

Liques had been expecting them.

They had company.


	7. Roughing In The Details

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really over this story. Nanowrimo is stressful and it's hard to work so hard only to get no feedback... I guess I should've expected this though... this story is clumsy and unpolished, I apologize... I hope to write you better soon... I story of this sucks, it's the first thing I've ever written like this.

Usami burst through the door in panic. Forget her love life, she needed to worry about her life. Period.

Why the hell were they there so early, anyways?

The thick lab door swung back on it’s hinges and collided with the wall behind it with a crash.

“Usami, Calm down!” Kodera called from his place a few steps behind her, but she didn’t hear him, and was already pounding on the doors that framed the hallway. 

“We’re early. We’re landing! Hurry up! Get in gear!”

“Usami!” Kodera called after her again, but she didn’t yield any response.

“Now!” She cried, and he could see the panic in her eyes behind her glasses from across the hall. He could still see the recurring glow that strengthened and weakened a soft read light, that he knew displayed the words: 

LANDING PROCESS, UNDERWAY.

He finally caught up to her, and the doors opened up after them, confused agents stumbling out. Once they reached the other end of the hall in the main room, Kyosuke, Konami, Jin and Tachikawa were activating their triggers. Usami looked terrified as the other agents were on her heels, and started talking over one another, asking all the questions that nobody had the answer to. 

Why didn’t we have more of a warning?

By the time Kodera caught his breath, the ship jerked violently, like the start of an earthquake, and Usami stumbled into him. He caught her in his arms, trying not to think to much, before realising..

We’ve entered the atmosphere.

“Are you okay?” He asked her, letting her right herself up before letting go.

“Damn it! We need to hurry!” She yelped, which he interpreted as a yes. Everybody looked okay from the split second glance he had to see them, so that was reassuring. Usami was pulling him away, her hand in his. 

“Looks like we’re landing right now…” He muttered, still trying to internalize the situation, so he didn’t rely on instinct, and could maybe think it through a little. He instead focused on Usami’s hand. Warm in his palm, fingers quaking, before she stopped dead as the ship gave another grumble of turbulence.

She squeezed his hand, almost cowering. 

Usami was also scared of space.

Well, not scared of space, but scared of all the things that could go wrong. Two very different things.

Moments later, she was clinging to his arm, and he was leading the way to the lab. 

If he couldn’t believe it before, this really wasn’t helping.

He didn’t dislike it, it just wasn’t contributing to his attempts of grasping his level head and clear mind. 

“You can do this, Kodera… Come on… Just a little farther…”

“It’s okay…” he ended up saying, and the ship refused to stop shaking as they set foot through the heavy trion door. “I’m scared too, but do you think Kido and Rindo would’ve put us on this ship if it weren't as safe as it needed to be?”

Usami didn’t respond, but Kodera was convinced his words lessened the tension in both of their shoulders. It was nice to hear somebody say something positive out loud. It made it a little better than simply thinking it. Other people help situations like this, plain and simple, just being there. He was frightened, but that wasn’t going to stop him. Hopefully. It just might at this rate. 

They got their way to the control panel, and Usami let got of his arm, and he only realised how tightly she had been clinging to him once she had let go. She didn’t however, let go of his left hand, and she didn’t mention it either. She must’ve needed his physical reassurance badly, because holding hands while trying to activate landing mechanisms on an elaborate and touchy control panel, making both people one handed wasn’t a very good idea, and she had never been somebody to inconvenience productivity without good reason.She looked to be beyond help at this point, and Kodera was getting anxious to see how much she could contain.

This was going to be insanity.

Kodera followed her muddled instructions blindly. The control panel had unlabeled switches, knobs and buttons, but it’s layout told Kodera about what he needed to know. He could figure it out, it was a pretty standard layout. He tended to the engines and landing gears, and Usami made sure the descent was going smooth, and that the impactors were at the ready. Usami was so scared looking, eyes hollow, as she frantically tapped at buttons, checking then double checking what she had entered into the lifeless machine, as he did the same, before she pulled him along by the hand again without another word towards the other side of the wall. 

The huge contraption. The supplement technology to ‘Barriers’, and there, in an open, protective case, were all the triggers.

“Barriers…” He breathed. 

She nodded, and pointed to the first one. 

He understood everything she was trying to tell him, without a word exchanged between them. It was as if all of the sudden, they just… clicked. Like two beings in one. Kodera knew that wasn’t romantic in the slightest, but so long as they survived this, he didn't care. It showed that they could work as a team, and that would be productive, and enjoyable.

 

Being a team was enough.

_____________________________

Miwa held onto Yosuke's arm. These people were so damn loud. Well, they were always making a ruckus, but ALL of them, causing a fuss simultaneously? That was pushing it. 

Miwa had learned a great deal of the course of the away ship. Yosuke and him were closer than ever, and he learned some things he only dreamed he would’ve known the answers to. He didn’t regret a thing. Yet, somehow he was saddened that their journey was over, because the trip back was instant, and he had suddenly gotten a stone in his stomach. 

“Hey princess,” Yosuke whispered down at him, “You’re shaking… are you holding it together fine?”

“Actually, I have a really bad feeling about this…” Miwa blurted out, not even trying to hide his suspicions.

“About what, the Neighbors?”

He nodded, trying not to contribute to the orchestra of loud voices. He probably was hard to hear over it anyways. 

Yosuke shrugged. “I’ve got your back, we’ve never failed as a team before… Well, okay maybe once or twice, but this is nothing we can’t handle. You’re a great leader, and I’m your backup. Right? That hasn’t changed… nothing has, it’s okay, we’ll be safe.”

Miwa looked down. “What if one of us gets hurt…?”

Yosuke looked at him strangely. “Honey, how would that happen? We had a bailout system installed. Besides, I’m here to help protect you, and I know you’ll protect me… Or, keep me from doing something reckless and stupid. Like always, right?” 

Yosuke’s words put a better spin on the bad feeling that spiraled in his chest, but he still wasn’t convinced. Not wanting Yosuke to get frustrated with him though, he simply nodded. 

“Yeah… I guess you’re right… Still I-”

 

He seemed to freeze completely. He didn’t breath, his heart seemed to stop.

“What is it, princess?”

Miwa pointed out the window.

“Oh, shit.” Yosuke breathed. 

“That’s no good..”

___________________________

Tachikawa had Jin in the corner. 

“No, don’t try to! I’m begging you, if you so much as think about trying to see into the future, that’s where I’ll kick your ass. Into the future.”

“But, Kei!”

“No! It’s to dangerous, we can’t risk it… hey, how are your contacts doing? Keeping everything out?”

Jin nodded. “They feel weird though…”

Tachikawa smiled. “Oh, boo hoo, I’m Jin, and I wanna complain about the uncomfortable contacts my boyfriend found me because I’d rather be driven insane by a misfiring mental state that lies to me, and makes me paranoid, and literally drives me insane!” Jin laughed. 

“That’s you, that’s what you’re telling me!”

Jin looked away. “Sorry.” He said playfully, though, obviously he was not really too sorry. 

“What are you smiling about?”

“You’re cute when you tease me… you get this childish annoyance on your face, and it’s really cute.”

“I’m not cute.” Tachikawa pouts. “That’s your job.”

“You’re doing it again!” Jin groan, exasperated. 

 

“Doing what, charming you? I’m irresistible, I’m well aware…”

“No, being annoyed.”

“Damn you.”

______________________________________

Kikuchihara tugged at Kazama’s sleeve lightly.

“Yeah?”

Kikuchihara pointed out the window.

“Kazama, I don’t know if…”

“Oh god.”

They were landing. The planet's surface was like a broken desert, cracked and crumbling along the dusty tan surface. It looked like a child’s drawing of a canyon scene, it was so over dramatic, except the barren emptiness of what a wasteland it was was interrupted.

Kikuchihara had to squint for a bit before he had realised what it was.

“Uh, guys?” Kazama said, loud enough so that a few of the others heard him. 

“I think we may have a problem here…” He gulped. “A big one.”

______________________________

“What do you mean we have company?!” Usami almost shrieked, the sound rooting it’s way into Kodera’s head.

He pointed out the window in horror.

“I meant just that… there's an army of trion soldiers headed this way!”

“But how?” Usami cried, grabbing him by the shoulder, and pulling herself up to the window. 

“Oh, shit…” She swore lightly.

“That’s no good…”

“What are we going to do?!” Kodera tried to put on a brave face, but his voice was drenched in fear. 

Usami pushed up her glasses, and took a deep breath. 

“The only thing we can do… this is why we brought the rest of those hooligans on board with us, they were there in case something like this happened. At least there doesn’t seem to be to many of them…”

 

“But.. how did they know we were coming? We are only landing to be still in a proper position to activate Barriers, we are only stopping for 16 minutes? Why are they here?”

“I don’t know!” She said, sounding panicked. “But they are hopefully ready for it.”

“Aren't you concerned?” Kodrea asked, like this was blasphemy It kind of was. “This is the planet that took out Aftokrator with a fraction of the army we had!”

“Yeah, well, I’m trying not to think about that!” She called, squeezing his shoulder before racing back to the control panel. He fingers were still now, and she seemed to be thinking straight. 

She tucked her hand behind the control panel, and suddenly pulled out a microphone. A small one, like on that should’ve been connected to headphones, but weren't.

“Okay, everybody!” He voice ran through the rooms and hallways behind them, and Kodera could hear the echo. “We are about to land. These Neighbors are said to be very dangerous, so please, work with your squad members and friends, or else you’ll get hurt. You need to stall for 16 minutes… now, who wants to see what these guys can do?”

“Why didn’t you tell us you had an intercom?” Kodera asked, once she had finished speaking.

“Do you really think I wanted those idiots knowing, then constantly interrupting us to get to it, so they could yell something along the lines of ‘boobies’ into the microphone? Yeah, I don’t think so.”

“I mean… that’s fair.”

“Well, who's it going to be? I need somebody to get in there first to give everybody a warning…”

_______________________________

“I’ll go.”

Yosuke stood tall. He spoke proudly, and definite, like it was set in stone. “I can go in first.”

“Yosuke, no! You can’t!” Miwa yelped. “You’ll get reckless, and you’ll do something stupid, and… I don’t want you going in their first!”

“It’s the least I could do, besides, it’s not very dangerous… we have a bailout system, and it’s only a few neighbors… that’s child's play!”

“Did you not just hear Usami? They’re dangerous!”

“What could go wrong?”

“A lot of things, Yosuke, and you’re to thick to realize how possibly harmful this could be!”

“I can do it!’

“I don’t want to run the risk of you being hurt! We’re trillions of miles away from earth, I’m not letting you get injured, unlike you, I actually give a shit about your well being!”

“Shuji, I promi-”

“NO!”

Miwa looked around at the surrounding agents, all in pairs. 

 

“Is anybody else willing to go in?”

 

Nobody answered. 

“Tachikawa? Jin?” 

“I have to keep my eye on him…” Tachikawa said, giving a friendly elbow to Jin. “I’m sorry.”

“Kazama?”

 

“Konami?”

“Shuji, I’ll just do it… it’ll be fine…” Yosuke said. “It’s not that big a deal.”

“Yosuke, no! I’m not letting you! As your captain, I forbid you from going out there alone! I’ll go in your place if nobody steps up.”

 

“Oh my god!” Yosuke sighed, his patience running out. “Could you not let me help you this once?!” 

“I’m sorry, what?” Miwa snapped. “I thought, Yosuke, that I told you that you wouldn’t be going out there.”

 

His voice grew dangerously husky and dark, layered with anger.

“You won’t be going out there alone.”

“Shuji! For the love of god, do you not get it!? I just want to help you guys out, okay? You’re always the one saving me on mission, stopping me from doing something stupid, I just want to return the favor. Please. I need to do this so that I can say that, yes, I did repay you for all those times…”

Miwa shook his head. Attempting to ignore the uncomfortable silence that held the room up in an unshakeable tension. “No. I’m still not letting you!”

“Shuji-”

“No! I do those things because we’re a team! We are a team. You have my back just as much as I have yours, and I’m just trying my hardest to uphold that now, because this is an awful idea.”

“Shuji, I’m not going to-”

Miwa looked at him with a vicious, vile stare that made Yosuke stop without half a sentence passing his lips.

It was the kind of glare to scratch into your brain, or burn down a house, they were so intense.

 

“Fine.”

“What?”

“...On one condition.”

“Anything!”

 

Miwa growled.

“I’m going with you.”

_____________

“We are landing!” Usami called, voice echoing over the intercom. “Everybody, hold on tight!”

She hung up the microphone in it’s concealed place from behind the board.

“So, Miwa and Yosuke?” She asked, looking up at Kodrea, while her fingers slid some switches up to prepare the last of the landing functions.

He nodded. 

“Actually, I’m glad they're going together… puts me at ease a little bit… I’m really concerned about this… Well… any last words before we land, and chaos ensues?”

Kodera stopped.

This seemed like a golden opportunity, to a brave soul, to confess your love. It was the kind of thing he could do to please Osamu, and give himself a sense of closure. Maybe… at least, end it once and for all.

Kodera wasn’t a brave soul.

“Well, I would like to know what you wanted to talk to me about.” He said, smiling weakly.

She blanched, before remembering the promise she had no choice to break. Even if she’d enough time for a confession, the aftermath could interfere, and mess with their ability to work together properly. She wanted to do anything but.

She bit her lip before finally saying “If we make it out of here in one piece, I swear, I’ll tell you then.”

“Is it something important?” He asked curiously, anxiously eyeing the window, and his place in the ship that was plummeting towards the ground.

“Uh, depends on how you look at it, really.” he offered helplessly, grabbing her trigger tightly. “Tell me when to land.”

“I’m on it.”

…………..

“Now?” She asked, feeling like maybe she was already too late. 

Kodera shook his head. 

“No, we have a bit, trust me.”

…………….

“Now?”

“No, not yet, You’ve got to trust me on this!”

“No, I- I know, I’m just anxious, I’m sorry…”

 

“Now…?”

“Almost…”

“Okay, sorry.”

 

“Now!” He cried, and Usami pulled down on a very prominent lever, as she felt the landing gears activate.

In moments, the ship jerked, and she stumbled, fuzzy socks sliding across the floor, as she gripped onto the panel, and Kodrea was grabbing at the wall. 

Then, in a rumble, they were on the ground.

They were anything but safe.

___________________________

The door in which they entered opened. 

“We’ll be right behind you two.” Tachikawa smiled encouragingly. “Don’t be afraid, you guy’s got this.”

“It is okay to be scared though…” Kazama said, a more welcome voice to Miwa’s ears. “But we know you can do this.”

Miwa said nothing, still frustrated that this was the way it had panned out, but Yosuke thanked them, before he grabbed for his hand, and dragged him out into the open, neighbors closing in fast.

“Come on…” He scowled, bitterly, before they had marched a few dozen feet away from the ship. The neighbors fast approaching. 

“Shuji… look I’m sorry, but really, why wouldn’t you let me help? There seems to be no risk!”

“Yosuke, I just… I don’t want to risk it.” He sighed. “I’m sorry for getting angry, but you weren't listening.”

“Yeah.”

“You’re still not listening, that’s why we're out here, I know.”

“I’m sorry, I just can’t let you shoulder all the work yourself! You're just… too damn perfect, and I love you… and, I dunno, I want to be on somewhat even grounds with you. It know it’s hard… but still, I want to try.”

“Yosuke…” Miwa said, giving him a ‘bullshit’ glance.

“Yeah?”

“You are such an idiot sometimes.”

“That’s fair… but you are the better of us.”

“That’s bullshit, that’s what that is.”

“Uh, no it’s not? Honestly, I don’t get you…”

“Well, right back at you, you are 10 times the person I’ll ever be! Why do you think I’m out here with you? I wouldn’t risk my life for somebody less than perfect.”

“Now that’s bullshit.”

“WHat?”

“You would risk your life for about anything, honey, that’s one of your flaws… low self esteem… which, again, makes literally no sense? You are such an idiot!”

“I’m just not worth very much.”

“Then why do I love you?”

“Damned if I know! You tell me!”

“Because you’re amazing!”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are!” Yosuke pushed. 

“Uh, looks like whe have company.” He sighed, manifesting his spear. “I love you.”

Miwa hesitated for a moment and he reached for his gun.

“It’s okay.” Yosuke said, before he could open his mouth.

“You don’t have to say it. I know.”

____________________

 

Usami held onto the trigger tightly. Just the thought of how much power she held in the hands was scary. She was legitimately encasing her entire home planet. It was insanity. 

 

She didn’t really have the time to contemplate it though, because Kodera was having some difficulty figuring out which of the switches he needed to activate. 

“The one to your left.” Usami bade, quietly. Her mental state was already a scrambled mess, and she had just about given way to the stress of their current position.

“Okay. this one?”

“Your other left.”

“Oh! Sorry, this one here?”

“One down.”

“This one.”

“Yes, that one.”

“Okay.. so tell me when?”

“I mean, now preferably, I want to get off of this place.”

“Okay, you give the word.”

SHe nodded. 

“Trigger, on!”

________________________

 

“Fuck!”

“Yosuke!” Miwa yelped, slicing an eye out of a Marmod. “What’s wrong?”

Yosuke was clutching his cheek, were the very same marmod had scratched the surface.

“Yosuke?”

 

Yosuke took his hand away and Miwa couldn’t form words as two scarlet drops met the dusty ground with a light tap.

THat can’t be…

“Are you-”

Yosuke looked down at his hand in horror, and sure enough, blood coated his fingers. Miwa pulled out of the trace in time to skewer another Marmod.

“I don’t understand.. how are you bleeding?”

 

“I’m sending in the others.” Usami called through their headsets.

“Wait! No, not yet!”

“WHat? Why?”

“Yosuke’s bleeding!”

 

“Bleeding? What?”

“I don’t know!” Miwa said, panicked, but he saw the agents rushing out to meet them.

Yosuke was biting his lip. He knew it wasn’t a fatal wound or anything, but having half of your cheek sliced out, hurt like hell.

“Hey, Yosuke, are you okay? Talk to me damn it, what happened?”

 

Yosuke was seemingly at even more at a loss for words as he was.

“Yosuke?!”

“I don’t know…” His voice quaked. 

“Shuji, I’m sorry, you were right, this isn’t safe, we have to get you out of here…”

“Get me out? Why? I’m not the one who’s bleeding from the cheek because I was being careless!”

“I’m sorry…” he choked again. “I didn’t mean to scare you, I just…”

“You what, Yosuke…?”

“I don’t know if-”

“Bad news everybody.” Usami forced out from their headsets, just as the other agents had reached the two of them, hunched over and one of them bleeding. 

“Lequis has surpassed the system.”

____________________________________

“Surpassed the system?” Tachikawa asked in astonishment. 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Exactly what you think it means!” Usami croaked, and she sounded like she could’ve been on the brink of tears.

“They bypass the trion coding!”

“Speak our language!” Tachikawa said, his voice cutting out when he saw Yosuke, and understood.

“They hurt your living bodies.”

________________________________

Kikuchihara’s step faltered. “Wait, we’re going to bleed? And feel pain?” He suddenly felt panicked, like something was pressing into his gut and his lungs, pressure crushing him from the inside. “Is this some kind of suicide mission?”

“What if we get our heads cut off?”

Kazama felt a blade twist in his chest. Kikuchihara was right. THe reality clubbed him over the head with a blunt force.

We could die.

Such a dazzling reality never set in well, and Kazama felt the hairs on the back of neck rise slightly, and a tingle shoot up his spine. He felt nauseous and sick. 

This isn’t what he had planned for.

“Stay close to me.” He commanded. “Come on… I’ll get my head cut off before I’ll let yours. Don’t be reckless, stay close, and please, I beg of you, don’t try anything new.”

Kikuchihara shook his head. “I won’t.”

Kikuchihara wanted run. He wanted to get out. As fast as he possibly could. His anxiety was pulling the strings, he needed an out, this was too much. And fast. He needed to run. He was scared, he was so, so afraid. This was a recipe for disaster, it… this wouldn’t end well, no matter what.

Kazama grabbed his hand, clutching it with a pressure that seemed to lessen that of the one on his windpipe.

“I’ll protect you.”

_________________

Everybody was fighting around them, keeping them safe. Yosuke still could hardly stand, and MIwa gently cupped his cheek with one hand. It didn’t hurt as much anymore, but the shock of finding you could die, as well as feeling it, and to be the first one too, it was the shock that immobilized him. 

Miwa didn’t give two shits if the others found out now. He didn’t care. In his eyes, this was a fucking suicide mission, and he just wanted to keep Yosuke safe. No matter the cost. 

Their foreheads were lightly pressed to one another's, and Miwa’s fingers held tightly at his shoulder, and the other tentatively brushed away the blood that had slowly streamed off his face. He looked Yosuke in the eye, and the surprised and fearful look that he wore was reflected back again. 

“Hey, Yosuke, pull yourself together, it’s okay…” He whispered gently. “Come on, focus. Focus for me, can you do that?”

Yosuke nodded blankly, as if trying to, but still without any margin of a result.

“Come on, You’ve got this… it’s just a scratch.. I’ll patch you up later, okay? I promise….”

He remained stoic, no response leaving him. 

“Okay, here, can you stand on your own? Come on, we really need to help the others…”

He nodded, and stumbled a little as Miwa released him, before righting himself. “Try to walk.”

“I’m sorry…” He forced out. “I just… I don’t know, we need to get you out of here.”

“Why? You’re the one limping in shock!”

“You matter more! You can’t risk your life here!” he cried.

“Yosuke, I’m not going to die…, unless you start moving your ass, anyway.” He said, and lead him toward the outskirts of the nearest fight.

“Miwa, No! I can’t lose you!”

“You stupid fucking idiot!” Miwa yelled. “Do you think I’m not worried too? THere is no way in hell that I’m going to let you die either. You’re also in danger!”

“That’s different!”

“No, it’s fucking not! You could die! And I’m am so terrified you are going to get hurt, I’m not losing somebody else, Yosuke. I can’t let you die too! Okay? But you know what? I’m letting you go anyways. If you don’t want me dead, see to it that I don’t. You are far more important.”

“Shuji…”

“I swear to god, if you get yourself hurt… I’ll…” Miwa stopped, voice faltering, suddenly unable to finish the sentence.

“I don’t know what I’ll do.” Miwa admitted softly. “I’m not sure I could handle it if anything ever happened to you.”

Yosuke bowed his head. 

“Fine. I understand, but if you do something stupid to save my ungrateful ass… I’ll also… do something… that I can’t think of right now.”

Miwa let out half of a chuckle.

“That’s my Yosuke.”

He took a deep breath, ready to back the other up, and jump into the fray.

Yosuke smiled down at him, before leaning down, and pressing a kiss to his lips.

“For luck.”

“Damn it.” Miwa swore lightly.

“WHat?”

“I was hoping we wouldn’t be those movie characters you see that always kiss on a battlefield, despite the war going on around them.”

“Did you?” Yosuke hummed. “Well, too late now.” 

“I guess…. come on, Kazama looks like he could use some help.”

 

“Stay safe for me.” Yosuke whispered, following him. 

“You should do the same.”

_____________________________

Kikuchihara was trembling. 

Kazama was concerned.

What the hell was this planet playing at?

There only seemed to be marmods, but it was enough to set them on edge. They had yet to sustain any injuries, but knowing that these people were capable of bodily harm was unnerving.

They were at the front of the fight, slashing at challenges as they showed themselves, Kikuhara doubted that any of the other squads could’ve pulled this off. Only him and Kazama were this synchronized. Besides, Tachikawa was doggedly following after JIn. After their hushed words had met his ears, Kikuchihara had felt a little disgusted. It was fine that they were in love, but did they really have to say it out loud?

In their defense, Kikuchihara knew that they had been whispering, but it was still nasty, and Kikuchihara could hear it, meaning they were too damn loud. 

He had done as he had always done, and would always do, and had gone to Kazama to complain afterwards. He would always go to Kazama, grumbling over one thing of another, but in all honesty, he didn’t really give a shit about the things he heard. Having lived with it for his whole life, Kikuchihara had grown more than accustomed to it, and used the opportunity to revel in keeping Kazama’s attention. Besides, it filled the silence. And if you think Kikuchihara hated loud noises, it was nothing compared to the void screech of silence.

Kazama’s brack was brushing his own, as they took ‘have your back’ into a literal manifestation, looking around at the small squadron they had flattened entirely. 

Kikuchihara huffed. “That seems to be the last one.”

Silence.

“Kazama?”

 

“Kazama?”

 

“Kiku…” He breathed, before pointing to the horizon. 

THere was a black hooded figure, gliding over the ground. It had ghostly hunting features, and was closing in on them, quickly.

“What the fuck is that thing?”

________________________________

“No…” Kuga said, squinting at the figure over a pile of flattened marmods. Kuga would give it to him, Midorikawa had been improving in leaps and bounds very fast.

“Is that what I think it is?”

“Yuma, what’s wrong?” Midorikawa’s light voice penetrated his thoughts. 

“That… thing, that’s approaching Kikuchihara and Kazama…” Kuga whispered.

“That moving black thing on the horizon, look.”

He squinted his eyes too, and sure enough, there it was.

“Oh… a humanoid?” Midorikawa asked. Before it finally sunk in what that could entail. “You don’t think It’ll hurt your living body… do you?’

Kuga looked at it hard. 

“I think It might.”

“What? How do you know?”

“I’ve fought that guy before.”

“Wait… Is he?”

“Damn it!” Kuga swore. “I knew that they were trying to conquer Lequis too but..” 

“Now, hold on a minute,” Midorikawa said, raising his hand, as they began to pace towards it, “Isn’t that just too big of a coincidence? I mean, out of the infinite people in the universe, we just happen to stumble upon the same guy who killed you?… that’s a little farfetched, don’t you think?”

“Well, in most cases, yeah.” Yuma growled, impatiently. “However, the county that killed me and my dad were looking for ways to mass produce black triggers.”

“But, you can’t do that! Black triggers are supposed to be unique!”

Kuga shrugged. “My dad said that somebody with great potential was given some weird tech to create black trigger cases, and prisoners would fill them up… or something like that.”

“But.. that’s awful!”

“In a war, sympathy is one of the first things to die.” He said dismissively, picking up the pace.

“Hey, Yuma, wait, are you going to go fight that thing?!”

“Better my body then yours!” He called over his shoulder, setting off at a dead run now. 

“Yuma, wait! No, I’m coming with you, you can’t do this alone, you learned that the first time around… right?”

“I guess the lesson never got it’s point across.”

__________________________________________

 

“Don’t turn your back on it!” 

Kikuchihara remembered the first time Kazama had ever told him that.

He had spent the next few days getting very good at running backwards in a trion body.

They did the same now, backing away as fast as they could from the hooded approach, trying not to really mention out loud that they were gaining on them. 

“What do we do now?” He called to Kazama, who appeared to be very focused on finding a way out of this situation. 

“I don’t know!” he said, blunt honesty not helping Kikuchihara’s anxieties in the slightest.

“Well, gee, thanks, I love to know that my great captain is so on top of things.”

“Well, Kikuchihara,” Kazama smarted. “You can’t spell ‘sass’ without ‘ass’, and your being one.”

“What was that?”

“Focus on maybe not dying so I have time to save us both, you dipshit!”

Kazama sighed, feet working fast.

 

“And I say that with love and affection!”

“Help!”

Kikuchihara stopped dead, step faltering. 

“Kiku?”

“Wait.”

“Kiku come on, we need to get out, we need more support!”

“No, stop.”

“Kiku, come on, do you want us to die-”

“Shh!”

...

“Help me!”

Kikuchihara felt his insides wither away.

…

“Please! Anybody!”

There was no mistaking it.

That was a child screaming. For help. 

He suddenly felt a cold chill tumble through him. The cry was distant and stretched out. He couldn’t leave it alone.

“KIKU!!”

“I’m sorry!” He called, but he was already racing towards the sound, and there the kid was. Kiku knew that this was a bad idea, but something just… pulled his feet in the directio to help it. Something about that scream just… echoed. Some neighbor child, just… calling for help in the middle of a war field. That was so wrong. 

“KIKU, STOP!”

And he saw it. 

A marmod looming over the child. A black silhouette closing in.

He was close enough that he could…

The child was scrambling to get away, as far as he could, away from a fight that would cost him his life. 

“WAIT!” Kazama’s scream nearly split his ears, and Kikuchihara didn’t think twice before he threw himself between the child and the Marmod’s claws, just in time.

_____________________________________

“Yuma!” Jin called after his companion, Tachikawa at his heels. “Do you really think you’re going to fight that thing alone?”

“Not with Midorikawa right behind me and you following us as well.” He grumbled, sarcastically. “But, really, I appreciate it. “

“That guy looks like a nasty piece of work…” Tachikawa grinned. “How strong is he, do you wanna say?”

 

“We are in the middle if a life and death battle Tachikawa, and that’s what you're worried about?” Midorikawa rolled his eyes. “You sure don’t change.”

“What can I say? I’m a battle junkie! Besides, my future is smaller than Miwa’s happiness with my intelligence!”

“I think Miwa’s been pretty happy scene the trip began…” Midorikawa said, knowing that Yuma would know. “You’re not gonna die here… besides, nobody could cut you down without a helluva fight… You’re unrivaled!”

 

“Um, excuse me?” Jin asked, begging to be considered. “I’m a pretty damn good rival, if you ask me.”

“Fair point.” Midorikawa conceded, looking up to Jin with a happy expression. 

There was a brief moment of silence were they felt the ground rolling under their feet.

“Hey Jin,” Midorikawa said finally. “How good do I need to do in this fight to make you proud?”

‘Oh’.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Tachikawa smiling at him, and Jin’s thoughts cut off, and he grinned. This kid was too much of a good thing.

“Midorikawa, I’m so proud of you already.” Jin said, and Midorikawa looked beside himself. 

“Really?” 

“Of course, and I’ll tell you more about it when you survive this.”

“Look what we have here…” Yuma muttered, before stopping. 

The hooded figure loomed over them, stopping once they were before it. 

It was long and lanky, looking like… well, it was hard to describe, but it had long arms with large claws, and it looked to be a monster from a 5 year-olds nightmares.

“Well…” Jin spoke up to it. “Don’t you look like a barrel of laughs…”

It was dark, and hunched over, floating, rugged, yet smooth. It was so other-worldly, Jin hardly knew how to describe it. I was such a strange thing to behold. 

Tachikawa smiled. 

The insane world began.

 

_______________________

“What?” Usami yelped. “What do you mean?”

“I meant exactly what I said I mean!” Kodrea fumed. “They need to last out 11 more minutes!”

“But, they’re in danger! They’re already struggling, Kodera, I don’t want to lose any of them!”

“That won’t happen.” He said, as firmly as he could muster, which, for Usami, was to a decent degree. 

“Kodera, I’m scared!” She confessed. “They’re all scared, they might not make it out of this, what do I do?”

“Usami, they’ve trained for years and years and years, they can do this, you just need to trust them! Okay? They won’t let themselves die so easily…” 

“I’m still scared…” She whispered. “I can’t believe…”

Kodear stared blankly at her, before realising.

“Usami… are you going to cry…?”

 

She shook her head vigorously, before she swiped a sleeve across her eyes to dry the drops, pussing up her glasses in the process. 

“No, It’s okay if you need to, I just… we need to make sure we’re alert and…”

The moment the first few words escaped him, she broke out into tears.

“Usami!” Kodera exclaimed, but before he knew it, they were side by side, he had his hands hovering around her, not touching her, but giving her the option, as she hunched over the control panel, fingers digging over the edges, tears collecting in the crevices of buttons. 

“I’m sorry.” she shook as she spoke, and she accepted his offer, standing close to him, her arm gently prying themselves from the board, and around his waist. 

Her grip was so light-weight, it was almost like she wasn’t even there, but it was perfect. It was so nice. She lightly shifted around, trying to find the perfect position, and he didn’t try to hold onto her, he just laid his arms about her torso as a calming reminder that he was there, no matter what was happening beyond the walls.

“It’s just that…” She hiccuped. “Everything has really started working out for everybody, they all have so much to live for…”

“Hey… I know it’s sad, but we just have to believe in them, they’ll be okay… besides. They have a bailout system, so if they feel that they're really in danger… they can get out. Have they let us down before?”

“I mean… not really…”

“Then we have nothing to worry about…”

She nodded, her face lightly brushing his shoulder. 

Kodera had forgotten about his attraction of whatever, and was more focused on calming Usami down so that she could maybe assist the others. He felt like that might be a good use of their time. 

“Hey… are you sure you’re going to be okay?” he asked. 

She swiped again at her eyes, backing out of his grasp, which he respected. He eyelids were puffy, eyes still bright. Her light gray sweater sleeve was damp, Her glasses askew, Kodera took the tips of the red frames in his fingertips and straightened them out on the bridge of her nose.

“I-... thanks.” She smiled, lightly. “No, I… I guess you’re right. They haven't let us down, and they have more on the line than ever… You’re right… they’ll fight well. I’m sorry, I was being over dramatic.”

Kodera shook his head, she was still close to her.

“It’s okay… honestly, I’m scared to, I just know that being scared won’t help us…”

 

“Kodera?”

“Yes?”

“I… wait… what was it… that something you kept muttering to yourself…”

“Pardon?”

“Distance makes the heart grow fonder.”

____________________________

Kikuchihara didn’t think this through properly, did he?

He was about to die, skewered in the spine by a Marmod claw, the child in his arms. His back was turned to the beast.

“Kiku!”

Kazama.

If Kikuchihara had died, Kazama would’ve been the only thing he would be missed. But he would’ve missed him so dearly.

He was hunched over, back to the monster preparing to be inhaled. It wouldn’t be the best way to go, but it was on another planet, so that was kind of cool.

However Kazama had other plans. 

“Kiku! Take the kid and go!”

Kikuchihara looked up. He should be dead by now, right? But no, looking behind him, Kazama stood.c

Scorpion in hand, Kazama had made it in time, The gap in the sword had caught the claw, and Kazama knew that the blade would break once he started to move, so he held it in a temporary stalemate. 

“Kazama…”

“Shut up and move!” he growled. 

“But-”

“I love you too, now get out! I need you to survive this!”

“Thank you.” He called. And he picked up the kid and ran away from the scene. The words echoing in his mind. 

“I love you too…”

______________________________

“KEI!” Jin screamed, but it was too late and the damage was done.

The hooded man was lashing out, attacking flaring up in a random succession. When one long range attack came flashing ut at Tachikawa and…

Contact.

Tachikawa cried out screaming in agony.

All Jin saw was blood. So much blood, and three little lumps falling to the ground.’

It took a lot of strength to not throw up.

So much blood, and… his fingers… were just lying there…

Three fingers.

Tachikawa had lost them.

Midorikawa stumbled backwards at the sight of Tachikawa falling to his knees. Jin felt his own knees buckle. 

Was this happening?

Tachikawa was screaming. It must hurt, it must hurt so badly. Having three fingers sliced off at the base. Jin fell to the ground beside him, losing all awareness to the battle that he had now thrown entirely on Yuma and Midorikawa.

“KEI!” 

“DAMN IT!”

“Kei! Goddamn it, oh my god… no, no, no, it’s okay, Kei, do you hear me? Are you there?”

Tachikawa was crying. 

“Oh my god, oh god, oh, fuck! Kei, oh fuck… shit, bail out!” He cried.

Tachikawa barely heard him before he was gone in a streak of glowing neon green, Jin following him.

___________________________________________

Usami’s hysteria was back in a heartbeat.

She was crying again.

Tachikawa, the best there was on the mission, the top attacker in Border, lost three fingers, and had bailed out, Jin following him. The reset room were their own assigned bedrooms, so they landed on the bed, and Jin scrambled to grab the first aid kit. Tachikawa was losing a lot of blood, what the hell was this?

Why was thing happening? 

Tachikawa was crying. 

Jin had never seen Tachikawa cry. 

There was blood, so much blood, and tears… too many tears for comfort. Tachikawa was in danger, he was so scared, and Tachikawa appeared to be borderline delusional.

He was sobbing, and choking on his own gasps for air. Looking down at the first aid kit, Jin didn’t even know where to begin. Paper cuts was one thing, glass injuries and the sort, but this? Tachikawa had lost the majority of his left hand. His pinkie, ring and middle fingers sliced open. They were flat topped and bleeding, and Jin would’ve killed, actually killed, just to see the future. He wasn’t trained for the sort of thing, and he knew that Tachikawa was in excruciating pain, he needed to do something fast. Jin was unaware whether or not Tachikawa was still screaming. That fact had faded out a while ago. It was empty. Blank and numb. He needed to know what to do, but he decided that maybe he should take some of his own advice, and be indulgent for just this once.

He collapsed beside Tachikawa on his bed, ignoring the red stains that plagued the white sheets. He gingerly placed his fingertips under the palm of his hand, raising it slightly, inspecting the damage, and Jin fought tears.

This wasn’t meant to happen.  
_______________

Kikuchihara stumbled. 

“Hey, Kid, where's the nearest town? I need to get there quickly.”

The child pointed to his left, at a little bit of an angle, and sure enough, is Kikuchihara squinted, he could make out the outline of a town. But it was so damn far, could he make it there and back in 16 minutes? 

Less than 16 minutes…

How long had they already been out there? Would Kazama be alright?

Kikuchihara took a rain check on that last question as he repositioned the child in his arms. Kazama was the one saving him from near death just then, hopefully he would be okay.

It was awkward as he started running with the child in his arms. Being in a trion body, picking it up was easy, but for a child at least 8 years old, it was odd to be carrying them in your arms across a barren, bloody warfield.

Anything so save a life, he supposed. 

He was being dangerously spontaneous, and he wanted to get the child all the way over to the next town, but was there time?

He needed to be fast.

Kikuchihara doesn't think he had ever run so fast, he was skimming the ground, and large bounds, he just wanted to ensure everybody’s safety, however, the situation was bleak. 

He briefly on how the others were faring against the black trigger.

Midorikawa and Yuma seemed to have been heading towards it, and Jin and Tachikawa had been headed over to help them, so hopefully they were doing alright.

“I’m sorry…” The neighbor kid said, piercing the reality of thought. 

“It’s okay… so are we headed to your home? Or to just a nearby town?”

“I live there.” Said the kid. 

“Good…”

“The guy who saved us, are you married?”

Kikuchihara nearly choked. “What!?”

“Are you married? I know you're from another planet… but you’re old enough to be married over here…”

“I mean… we are in love…” He told him. “Isn’t that strange to you though?”

“What?” The kid asked, curiously.

“Two boys… in love?”

The boy looked confused. 

“Most marriages are of the same gender over here… it controls the population.”

“Does it now…”

...

 

“So you’re not married?”

 

“What? No. No we’re not.”

“But you are in love.” The kid asked, seeking a confirmation. 

“I mean, I guess, yeah.”

“Wow, your planet is strange.” He said, wrinkling his nose in disgust. “You’re in love and not married? That’s weird.”

Kikuchihara was curious, but didn’t ask. 

“Why were you out there?” He asked instead. 

The kid hummed. “It doesn’t really matter.” He said.

“It kinda does.” He disagreed. “Why the hell were you in a battle zone? You knew it was dangerous!”

“I said, it doesn’t matter… your… uh… fri- partner saved us, right?”

“I mean, yeah…”

“Well, that’s all that matters then…”

“I guess you’re right.”

__________________________

Miwa geared around. This wasn’t right. Nothing here was ‘right.’ Not even in the slightest.

Midorikawa and Yuma were attacking and he and Yosuke were primarily a diversion. 

Miwa had heard Tachikawa’s cries, and while he disliked him, Miwa wasn’t heartless. It scared him. 

Yosuke could die if he got careless.

Any of the others could to.

The black figure was lashing out desperately, but he seemed to be winding down. The creatures adrenaline wearing off, and the exhaustion sinking in. Yosuke kept flanking him, and Miwa would swap positions with him, holding the... monsters reluctant attention, as Midorikawa and the neighbor would come in.

Miwa was tired. His adrenaline had been replaced with fear long ago, and the rush and heat of battle was something that would impact you negatively in the end without fail. 

The creature was heaving, final attacks become desperate, and Miwa wanted to relish in the neighbor's death, but found no victory in him. Only emptiness. It lashed out, and Yosuke barely dodged a long slice. Miwa bit his lip, and wanted to pull out now. They probably could get out now, and Midorikawa and the other would have it under control, but he didn’t want to risk it. The creature could be faking the status to lower their guard after all. 

If heavy loss and fighting taught you anything, it’s to not be confident of your victory until your enemy is dead, or defeated. 

A simple rule, really. Fundamental. 

Finally, Midorikawa had it pinned down, Scorpion to it’s throat. 

“It’s over.” He said simply, and Miwa took a moment to realise… this kid was still in middle school. And here he was, in an open wasteland on another planet, fighting for his life, not batting an eye at killing another living creature with his own bare hands.

Thinking about it like that, it felt wrong. Wrong, so very wrong indeed, if only Miwa hadn’t done the same. They really were no different in that way. Only, Miwa had been slightly older, and had a heavy loss. 

There was silence.

It was still, and nothing moved.

But that’s not how it was supposed to happen.

Midorikawa was unmoving.

Nothing budged.

...

Miwa stepped closer.

“Midorikawa?”

It was Yuma’s voice, but Midorikawa had no response.

“... Shun?” Yuma asked again, using his first name. “Do you-”

“Shit!” Yosuke swore, seeing it a split second before Miwa did. 

The neighbor saw what was happening, and lashed out again, Yuma pulled Midorikawa out of the way as fast as he could, but a generous slice was taken from his shoulder. 

“Midorikawa!” Yosuke cried, as he fell into Yuma’s arms. 

“Shun, goddamnit, I told you this was too dangerous…”

“Yosuke, look out!” Miwa cried, barely having enough time to shoot at an outstretched claws to protect his distracted team member.

“I’ve got it!” Yuma called to him, and pulled him a few feet away, giving Miwa and Yosuke some space to move. 

“I guess it’s on us now, huh?”

“And you have me.” 

Miwa glanced back. 

“About time Kazama, … wait, where’s Kikuchihara, was he hurt?”

“No, thank god, he’s uh, less talking more fighting!” He called, as Yosuke got another small cut on his arm. 

Yosuke was littered with small wounds, and was bleeding quite a bit, but they were shallow, and while Miwa insisted he bail out, he refused, claiming that if he wasn’t dying, he wouldn’t risk leaving, making it more likely for somebody else to die. 

“Kazama, what happened to your ear?” Yosuke called. 

Miwa didn’t know what he was talking about, but as Kazama circled the demon, his other ear was bleeding to much for unconcern. 

“Stalemate with a marmod, long story!”

“Well, at least we’re not alone.” Miwa called out to Yosuke, unsure if he would hear. 

“Miwa, you’re never alone.”

______________________________

“Midorikawa!”

“Midorikawa, can you hear me?!”

…

“Shun!”

“Yuma… I’m sorry…”

“Sorry, Midorikawa, what are you sorry for? You did nothing wrong!”

“I couldn’t kill it.”

“Midorikawa, you-”

“I can’t fucking kill anything anymore, okay? I’m afraid of death, and I think I’m scared of killing now too. It’s not right, I just… can’t anymore, okay?”

Midorikawa looked like he was about to cry. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Hey, no, it’s okay, it’s okay that you can’t. It’s braver to admit what you can’t do, then boast about what you can.”

“I’m still weak.”

“No, Midorikawa, you were never weak, look at you now, you just risked your life for the greater good, against everything you wanted to do, you’ve done more than enough…”

“Not yet…”

“No, Midorikawa, damn it, you’re bleeding really bad, that must hurt like crazy, you need to bail out.”

“But Yuma-”

“Bail. Out. Now.”

“...”

“I’m sorry.”

“Bail out.”  
____________________

“Why is the alarm going?!”

Kodera was having one of those moments.

He was having a moment were he was questioning what he was doing, were he was, and what his entire life had been. 

It was one of those overly philosophical moments you get when something unexpected happens, one after another, and nothing seems right. 

Usami was back in his arms, she was clinging to him in fear, as the seconds slid away too slowly for comfort. She was broken, pouring out every secret to him that wasn’t hers to tell, all her fears, everything that was running through her head, including how helpless she felt as all of their friends were on a battlefield they might never return from.

She was so scared, so afraid. She had tried to go help Tachikawa, but she didn’t even make it to the door before collapsing. 

Kodera didn’t think she was weak, it was a shock to be fighting for your life, and she was an operator, not a combatant like him, the reality of battle is different for those who fight, and those who don’t.

So many good things had just begun to happen, Miwa had seemingly found reason to be happy, Konami and Kyosuke stopped dancing circles around one another, Kikuchihara was being honest with Kazama, and while Jin had gone insane, Tachikawa was there to fix what was broken. Midorikawa now had somebody to confide in, and actually see eye to eye with, instead of constantly trying to impress them, like Jin, or Yosuke and Izumi. And, well, Kodera had gotten more out of the trip than he ever had expected. He didn’t want any of those things to end now. 

The sirens and red glares had interrupted them. 

“I don’t know what they’re for!” He confessed, hold her a little closer to his chest, looking up. 

The classic red flares came in and out, fading into intensity and a state of absence in rapid succession. “I don’t think It’s good though!”

Usami was still clutching on tightly, and while he wanted that to last, finding out what was wrong was far more important.

“Hey, we need to find out what’s happening, okay?”

SHe nodded reluctantly, grabbing onto his arm instead, and allowing him to lead the way. 

He stumbled over to the control panel.

They still had 4 minutes left on this damned planet.

“Warning, outside defenses under attack”

 

“Son of a-”

_______________________

Kikuchihara set the child down.

The town was a about a half a mile away, and Kikuchihara hoped they would be safe from here. 

Kikuchihara couldn’t see the people from between their oddly shaped buildings, but he could hear the chatter.

“Here, are you okay from here?” Kikuchihara asked, brushing some hair behind the child's ear back.

He nodded, “I’m sorry for the trouble, but uh, thank your pre-husband for saving me, okay?”

Kikuchihara was too tired to argue, and to much in a hurry to correct him. 

“Sure thing.” He smiled. “Do you know where to find your parents?”

“Yeah.” The kid smiled.

“Take good care kid.”

“Wai, sir, what’s your name?”

“Kikuchihara.”

“Kikuchihara, I hope we meet again.”

“Me to kid, me too.”

 

____________________

The creature was defeated.

Miwa slumped to the ground, mentally exhausted, before stumbling his way over to Yosuke, who was similarly hunched over the cracked earth. 

Kazama was a ways away, but Miwa had already forgotten about him. 

Yosuke opened his arms, and Miwa wrapped himself in them without hesitation. 

“You fucking fool.” Miwa spat, as his fingers trailed along the small cuts that coated Yosuke’s entire body.

“You were so damn careless, I’ll be honest, I shouldn't have let you come out here in general…”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, just don’t get hurt, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to understand.”

“Hey, you got a little banged up yourself…” Yosuke commented, tracing his fingertips along broken shin on Miwa’s outer left thigh, where there were claw marks.

“That’s nothing…” He said.

“That’s no ‘nothing’, honey, that’s bleeding pretty badly.”

“At least I’m not about to die!”

“I’m not about to die, calm down!”

“I do worry though…”

“I know you do.”

They lapsed into silence, an Yosuke kissed Miwa’s forehead a few times.

“What are you doing?” Yosuke asked eventually.

“Counting the scars that you won yourself…”

“Oh.”

“Congratulations, there are fiveteen scars, also known as fiveteen reasons that you’re an idiot, and need to maybe try to care for yourself more.”

“Honey, I’m sorry, I just-”

Yosuke was promptly cut off with Miwa’s fingers gripping his shoulders, and kissing him hard. 

Still unaware of their audience… of Kazama… Miwa felt Yosuke’s hands grabbing at the curves in his hip bone. Their lips moved together, coming together and peeling apart, but no more. 

Pulling away, Miwa leaned in, placing a chin on his shoulder, and groaned.

“Seriously though, that’s fiveteen scars to many… I liked you the way you were, damn it!”

“I’m sorry, it was just…. Better me than you.”

“Uh, no it’s not!”

‘Those two need to get a room.’ Kazama thought darkly,

_______________________________________________

2:30 

It felt like an eternity.

Most of the neighbors were defeated, of attacking the ship.

 

Too many were attacking the ship.

When Tachikawa had heard the sirens go off he was barely conscious. 

Jin had given him three tourniquets to stop the bleeding. Jin told him that the sirens could mean anything, but there was nothing they could've done about it anyways. Tachikawa didn’t even have to power to speak and agree, his throat was so dry.

Had Jin felt like this a few days ago?

The reality of what had happened was sinking in. It was unimaginable.

Tachikawa didn’t know what was happening, only that he couldn’t change the outcome. He was powerless.

He just resigned himself to whatever was directly before him. Whether it was medical attention, crying, or kissing. He had done all three so far, and in the dreary layer of cloud that clotted his mind, Tachikawa could reach out for Jin. that was the only thing he could do, except, grabbing him was a whole lot harder.

_______________________________

“Damn it!”

Kodera swore, before wishing he could take it back. 

He never was one to swear.

Usami was looking intently at the timer, as it reached one minute, thirty seconds.

“What is it?”

Kodera wished that he could've said ‘nothing’ or ‘nothing you need to worry about’ but…

“There are more neighbors attacking the ship then we thought!”

 

Usami was past her breaking point.

“Okay, but how many is ‘more’?”

“Enough to-”

There was a chilling screech from behind him. Kodera didn’t have to look to know what it was.

They were already there.

It was like nails of a chalkboard, or a fork scraping the bottom of a pot. Usami almost screeched.

Kodera caught the movement in the corner of his eye, and he stumbled backwards, gaze hazy as he saw a Marmot attacking the window.

It was made of trion, but they knew it wouldn’t last.

“What do we do?” Usami yelped.

“What makes you think I know?” He called, not intending to increase the panic, but doing so anyways.

“You’re the combatant here!”

“Well, we should start by assembling everybody back here!”

Usami nodded, a shakily reached for her intercom, which helpfully was also connected to everybody’s receivers.

Kodera manifested his rifle.

“Okay, well. We’ll just have to hope the trion window holds out.”

Usami nodded. 

She shouted commands into the microphone, but Kodera could barely hear what she was saying.

His head was swimming, and he couldn’t see straight. 

His head hurt like nothing you could ever imagine, and it took a generous amount of willpower to not lay down on the floor.

He was unsure how Usami was handling it. She herself must be feeling twice the stress he was, and yet she was still in… partial control. She was still leading, though, he doubted that she was hearing what she was saying either. 

There were three agents already with them, but two were in pain, and all three had bailed out, therefore, trion bodies were in need of repair.

Then there were two.

A second Marmod, claws striking the barrier with such vigor, Kodera wasn’t surprised as the window began to crack.

“GET DOWN!”

He cried, Leaping away from the window. If he had any hopes of shooting, he needed to be at a bit of a distance. 

He crashed into Usami, making them lose their footing, and they were in a panicked pile in the back of the room, when the window finally shattered, and gave way.

The two marmods were upon them in moments.

Forty-five seconds.

Forty-five seconds was too damn long, and Kodera tried to shoot, but ther Marmods were already to close. 

They were no less than a foot away, when he deactivated his sniping trigger, and threw up a small, hasty shield to protect them from a swiping limb.

“Are you okay?” He asked, as he summed up a shield to surround them. 

It was air tight, but he needed it to both cover them, and be as dense as he could possibly make it. 

“Are we going to live?”

Kodera shuttered as a strike shook the entire shield.   
This wasn’t going to last very long, that much he could say with confidence.

“I’m not sure, actually!”

“Oh, well, that’s reassuring, isn’t it?”

Another strike, and another.

Kodera was already wiped, and yet, he was pouring so much energy and trion into the forcefield, it took a huge amount of strength to maintain this. 

But if he didn’t, they wouldn’t survive.

“Usami…” He shuttered. 

“Yeah?”

He voice was strained, and anxious, both of theirs were. It was the sound of helplessness and desperation, anxiety unparalleled. 

“I… well…”

Kodera wasn’t thinking clearly, but that’s how it was going to be. 

If he was being forced to be a brave soul in what could very well be his final moments, then so be it.

And you know what? He was proud.

“I love you.”

____________________________________

Kazama scrambled upwards. 

“Do you need help?” He asked Miwa, who was supporting Yosuke, who, as light hearted as he was acting, was bleeding heavily. 

Miwa, who normally would’ve refused help if any kind, actually nodded. 

“Let’s just hope we all make it back there in one peace.”

The started hobbling back to the ship, quickly. 

Nobody wanted to be there longer than they had to. And even from across the plain, they saw hordes of Marmods, still fighting Konami and Kyosuke, and Kuga was still active.

“Kazama, are you alright?” Yosuke asked, taking a good look at him. 

“Well, compared to you, who is in the process of bleeding out on a foreign planet of aggressive aliens billions of miles away from home, yes Yosuke, I am fine.”

“You know what I mean…”

“Well… It’s nothing.”

“I wouldn’t call Kikuchihara ‘nothing’.” Miwa frowned. “That is what you’re worried about, yes?”

“I mean, I, how did you know?”

“You literally refused to tell us what happened to him, and we are fighting for our lives, it was obvious something bad happened.”

“Kiku? Damn it, not him too.” Yosuke groaned. “Is he okay? What happened to him?”

Kazama looked at the ground. 

“He, uh, he was trying to get a neighbor child to safety.”

“Why would he do that?” Miwa growled. “If that kid was that foolish, he deserved to die.”

“Shuji!” Yosuke snapped. “Neighbors are humans too, you sick bastard.”

“Sorry…”

“I’m just worried he might not make it back in time.”

“In time for what? It’s not like we’re going to leave him here!”

“What if he got attacked? What if it was a trap?! I… I guess I regret letting him go, nobody know’s where he is, and we are on this dangerous garbage dump if a planet!”

“I see…” Miwa murmured gently. “I’m sorry… but Kikuchihara is a very smart man, he’ll be fine.”

“Actually, it was pretty stupid of you…”

“Yosuke!”

“No, it’s fine… I know it was.”

___________________________

Eighteen strikes in total.

Kodera felt sick. At this rate, he was going to pass out from maintaining the shield then having it break, and he wondered how much longer he could hold on.

Usami had said nothing. The clock was counting down, and he wondered if he would be dead by the time it reached zero.

He was debating lowering the shield so that he would only protect Usami, because she was more important than he was. The rest of the crew wouldn’t make it back home alive without her, and Kodera was only good for bending numbers around.

He would’ve too, at this rate, but the shield wouldn’t last if he dies before help came, and he decided he would only resort to that if the shield broke and he had been stabbed. Saving Usami took priority.

She still had yet to respond to his declaration, and Kodera was more than content with that. He would try to have a positive outlook, and he could die in peace knowing that he had finally put himself out there, and hadn’t lived through rejection.

That would be more than enough.

She was clinging to him, her hands wrapped around his wrists. SHe was behind him, on her knees and panicked, and Kodera dare not look back, worried that what he would see might break his attention, and he wanted to maybe survive this.

10 seconds.

They dragged by.

Kodea felt the ground slipping out from under him, draining away.

It was over.

He felt his consciousness slipping away.

9 seconds.

He was queasy, and he falt ready to die.

It was to much, he was about to lose.

Usami was clutching him, she was shaking so badly.

8 seconds.

There was regret. 

Kodera would’ve done anything to save Usami right now. To stop her panic, to get her out of the situation safely. The others needed her. He regretted not telling her sooner. He regretted being so isolated, never enjoying the presence of his friends, of his squad, or her, anybody. He regretted old mistakes, but not as much as he thought he would. He more regretting all the things he had left unfinished. 

7 seconds.

This really was the end. 

That was starting to sink in now. This was the end. What would death feel like? He was facing a stone wall. It was the rising fear of dread that he would be gone forever, permanently. There was no coming back. None. It was impossible.

6 seconds. 

Kodera was questioning the whole endeavour.

What would death really be like? Why did it end like this? What else could he have done?

5 seconds. The seconds went by faster. 

He had expected time to slow before death, but the time spread up, along with his quick train of thought. 

The shield cracked. 

Two more strikes should do it.

If even.

4 more seconds.

Kodera stopped. 

Do you know how they say that before death, your life flashes before your eyes?

Kodera would disagree. 

It was more like walking into a candy store, or shop, every single memory you have lining the shelves. All your accomplishments, all your failures, and you get to pick out a few to savor before you’re gone forever. 

Kodera remembered the first mass invasion, he remembered being accepted into Border. He had never done anything very remarkable before then, He remembered finding Miwa and Yosuke, how happy he was that he could help, so glad for their appreciation.

He perused the happy times, and ignored the foul.

And as it was time to leave the store, he took one last look back.

This was his time, and this was what he had done with it.

3 seconds.

 

And it was over.

Kodera opened his eyes.

He had three seconds left, did he not?

Movement.

THe shield fell.   
______________________

“I can’t believe you.” Usami panted, clutching Kodera around the waist from behind.

THey hadn’t moved from their spot.

Kodera couldn’t process this. What was this?

The Marmods had collapsed. Sprawled out over the floor.

“Konami… Torimaru…” She choked. Kodera could say with confidence that she was crying now, though he didn’t dare look at her. 

Hell, he was crying too. 

“You are assholes.” She gasped, voice pitched. 

Neither Konami or Kyosuke moved, just huffed, and looking blank, unbelieving that they had made it in time.

Konami suddenly jerked out of her state of stone, and looked around the floor, before spotting the case that held Barriers. 

She tossed the trigger to Kodera, who, still in shock, almost didn’t catch it. 

He fumbled with his fingers, struggling to even hold it. He was trembling more than he thought possible, and his fingers were numb.

He raised his arm slightly, and from the floor, wheezed the command. 

 

“Trigger, On…”


	8. The Long Way Around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So what happened to the others, when they weren't taking center stage?

Konami opened her eyes. Her neck smarted, and her eyes were blurry.  
She was laying in her bed in the ship’s room, which, to be perfectly honest, she still wasn’t adjusted to. 

 

She blinked a few times, before everything came into an agreeable focus.

 

“Karasama?”

 

Kyosuke stood above her, looking down at her, his face red.

 

“What happened?”

 

She sat up, slightly stiff back giving its complains, and he shuffled his weight about.

 

“Sorry, I mean, you fell asleep in the common room, and I carried you back because we were the last ones out there, besides Tachikawa and Usami and it would be wrong to make them do it…” He was visibly embarrassed. His voice portraying the tone of “This isn’t what it looks like, I swear,” to her.

 

Instead, she nodded understandingly.

 

“No, I get it, it makes sense, really.”

 

“Really? I know it’s awkward I just…”

 

“What?”

 

“I don’t know…”

 

He genuinely seemed at a loss, and Konami twitched in confusion.

 

“Here, sit down…” She said, patting the side of her bed as a mutual invitation to sit.

 

He obliged, still looking slightly shaky.

 

“I think we need to talk.” Konami admitted. As his eyes slid back and forth.

 

“About what?” His voice was uneven, as if he knew what exactly, but wanted to ensure they were on the same page.

 

“About us.”

 

He nodded. “Yeah, I think that’s in order.”

 

“Well, I think so too…”

 

…

 

There was a silence.

 

Kyosuke was more than uncomfortable, and Konami looked at him as if she expected the words to come like magic to them.

 

“So….” She began, after the watery sound of nothingness had traveled on for a bit to long.

 

“Yes?”

 

“What do you think we should do?”

 

Kyousuke sighed. He was afraid she was going to ask him about this, because frankly, he hadn’t the slightest clue what was in order to keep her happy. He wasn’t entirely sure what he wanted himself.

 

“I’m not sure.” He admitted. “I don’t know, I want to make you happy, I guess, but like, it’s not that big of a deal to me? Not like that, you know that you matter a lot to me, I just… I don’t want anything serious. Personally, I think just getting my confession off of my chest is enough for now.”

 

One look at her indifferent expression, and Kyosuke was set on edge. 

 

“And I know that you probably want something out of me, I guess it just depends on what it is… Personally, I just… I think I’m satisfied staying as just ‘friends who admitted their crushes to one another’... I don’t think we’re at the ‘dating’ stage yet.”

 

Konami took a moment to contemplate his offer, and nodded.

 

“I think that sounds reasonable… yeah.”

 

“Wait, you’re really okay with that?”

 

“I mean, yeah, I think I am. Love is kinda counter productive, and it’ll be nice to not try to force anything big just yet… I like the idea of just… not having to worry. It may even spoil what we have if we try to force a big show.”

 

Kyousuke smiled, grateful that she understood.

 

“Yeah, I think so too…”

 

…

 

“Hey Konami…?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I just-” Kyosuke stopped for a breather. He wasn’t to great at this, now was he?

 

“I just want to say that I’m sorry if I act like an idiot about this, I just… I dunno, it’s weird for me… It’s worth it and everything, don’t get me wrong I just… I don’t know, it’s strange.”

 

“No, I get it… it hard to swallow, and we have other responsibilities.”

 

“Something like that, yeah.”

 

“Mhm…”

 

…

 

Kyousuke looked away.

 

…

 

“Uh… so, are we done here?” He asked sheepishly.

 

“Yeah, I think we are.” She smiled.

 

“Great, thanks.” He said standing up.

 

“Wait, one last thing.” She said to his retreating back.

 

“Yes?”

 

…

 

“Don’t worry too much about this, okay?”

 

“Did you think I was going to?”

 

“You’d better believe it, buddy.”

 

_______________________

 

Tachikawa had his light on.

 

He had been hot headed and naive.

 

It had only been a few hours scene Jin’s episode, and as Tachikawa had hunted Usami down, and they had dug up some eye moisturising contacts for Jin to wear to avoid the future, Jin had fallen asleep. Finally.

 

Tachikawa had come in, happy that everything was resolved, to a disaster face to face.

 

Jin was calling for help in his sleep again. There was glass and blood on the floor. The apple remained untouched. 

 

Tachikawa spat. He hadn’t done jack shit to fix this.

 

Tachikawa clambered his way over small translucent shards, and made a note to disinfect the bathroom floor. As he made his way to his bed, and sat on the enge, looking at Jin hard.

 

He was twitching a little, and it felt as weird to watch him in his sleep today as it did yesterday, maybe even more so. But it really wasn’t a risk he wanted to take. 

 

Tachikawa had a feeling spinning in his gut that no matter what he did, Jin would succumb to nightmares for a long time.

 

He didn’t want to wake Jin quite yet, because these seemed mild compared to the ones he had been having yesterday, but that was just him. Tachikawa shook his head. He was still happy, yes, but this wasn’t the way he had wanted the sinaro to play out. 

 

Jin was tossing and turning, and Tachikawa began thinking:

 

How can I help him?

 

That was a question that, to say the least, had a few too many answers.

 

Tachikawa felt saddened that this is what Jin was going to have to deal with for… who knows how long? The rest of time?

 

Tachikawa had always been aware of Jin being an insomniac. He avoided sleep at all costs, staying in trion bodies until either Tachikawa or Rindo convinced him that he needed real sleep. 

 

Jin would climb into bed, then deactivate his trigger, asleep before the simulation was even done swapping bodies. Horrified was an understatement. 

 

Tachikawa knew that Jin always like having music playing when he woke up. He imagined it grounded Jin to reality faster, and away from any nightmares that might plague him.

 

Beyond that, Tachikawa really had no idea. Jin didn’t talk about his weaknesses. It’s just… not something he’d do.

 

Jin tended to be an affectionate person, however, if he wasn’t afraid he was in an environment in which he’d be thought of as weak to do so.

 

Otherwise known as, Jin is far more comfortable when it’s them one-on-one or it’s him and Arashiyama one-on-one.

 

Not a ton of opportunities there. 

 

But in those situations, especially after a nightmare, he tended to be clingy and worried.

 

Tachikawa guessed there was no way to go about this than to simply be there.

 

Jin was a tough nut to crack.

 

Tachikawa watched in fixation as Jin’s sleepy fingers clenched a few times, and Tachikawa wondered if maybe it was this bad all the time.

 

He didn’t think it was. Sure, Jin came out from his nightmares pretty messed up, but it was never anything like this.

 

If Tachikawa could help shoulder the pain, he would. He would do it in a heartbeat.

 

But INSANITY? What was he supposed to do about that?

 

Tachikawa honestly didn’t have the best grip over what that even really meant in the first place.

 

And sure, the futures may be gone, giving some peace of mind, but the paranoia was still there, and Jin’s mind would still be as deranged as before. He doubted there was any way to take it back.

 

SUddenly, a dark thought clubbed him over the head like a ton of bricks.

 

What if this was my fault?

 

If I had been faster, more forceful, less intimidating, more insistant with the doctors, maybe Jin could’ve been treated sooner, and nothing of this degree would have happened.

 

I’ve done it.

 

It was a realisation so powerful, Tachikawa’s head spun.

 

He had done it.

 

He felt cold, the warm tingle of life falling out of him. 

 

Jin bared his teeth and a small ‘Help me…’ escaped him, and Tachikawa couldn’t stand it any longer.

 

“Jin, Jin, Jin…? Jin, JIN!” Tachikawa probed, gently tapping his cheek.

 

Jin when ridged, eyes flying open with a small squeaking sound that came from the back of his throat.

 

“Hey, you’re awake, are you-”

 

Jin extended his hand out from under the blankets.

 

Tachikawa looked at the trembling fingers, as Jin sniffled.

 

“Son of a bitch.” Jin cursed under his breath, looking away. He didn’t seem too intent on saying much else.

 

Tachikawa held his hand as Jin hiccuped into the pillow fighting off tears.

 

Tachikawa placed a second hand over his first, fingers brushing his palm.

 

“It’s okay baby… It’s okay, you can cry, it’s alright… I do want you to eat this… then you can talk, or don’t… that’s also okay... I’m here…”

 

Jin tilted so his eye peeked out from the crevice in the pillow just enough to look over his shoulder.

 

“I got you something… these should help. And help is better than nothing, right?”

 

Jin squeezed his hand.

 

____________________

 

Kikuchihara groaned, shuffling in the doorway and flopping down on the bed. 

 

It was so… unnatural. He always hated unfermiler beds… hotels, away ships, it didn’t matter. No matter how soft the y were, they always seemed stiff, and uneven Like something was poking out at you.

 

No matter how petty it was, Kikuchihara always found something to complain about. It was like, when you start doing something to get attention, and then suddenly you become known for it, so you’re not allowed to stop. Kikuchihara wasn’t allowed to stop, no matter how tired he always got of complaining.

 

Maybe that’s what made him so happy to have Kazama. He was somebody who saw past his piss-poor attitude, and could somehow extract the real Kikuchihara without the blink of an eye. Something about the way Kikuchihara ticked just, let him open up a little to him. It was like it was already in his programming. Strange was one word for it, concern was another.

 

Kazama was on his bed, reading a book.

 

Kikuchihara stopped. 

 

“Hey… when did you get reading glasses?”

 

Kazama looked up. His glasses were thick at the temple, but the frames of the lenses were a reasonable width. They were square, and black. 

 

“Two days before we left actually… I’m not to fond of them, why? Do you not like them?”

 

Kikuchihara rolled off his bed and sat beside Kazama on his. Kikuchihara looked at him carefully, and the one hand that Kazama had been holding his book open with sagged down as his focus dropped.Kikuchihara noticed how thick the lenses were, and he didn’t know what that meant. He pushed the glasses up the bridge of Kazama’s nose for him, relishing in how flustered he looked.   
“Nah, I think they suit you. You chose well.”

 

Kazama stared hard back at his book now, eyes not scanning the words on the page, but holding still as he tried to hold it together.

 

“Oh, well, uh, that’s good to hear I guess.”

 

Kikuchihara smiled. Kazama was way cuter than he should be. Forget him being 21 year of age, he was as cute as a child. Pouting while focusing, arily humming when he thought he was alone. 

 

“So, what’s happening?” Kazama asked, distractedly. He really wasn’t to much for conversation right now, and he much would rather hear Kikuchihara’s voice.

 

Kikuchihara wrinkled his nose as his boyfriend reminded him to complain.

 

“Well, I’ve been listening to two very special someone's all about their love life… so that’s fucking disgusting.”

 

Kazama hummed. This was what he wanted. “Who? Konami and Kyosuke?”

 

“Tachikawa and Jin.”

 

Kazama stopped.

 

“Those idiots stopped dancing circles around each other?”

 

“Evidently.”

 

“Oh, well, I mean, that’s a good thing. I was starting to get concerned. Nobody, not even Tachikawa should’ve been so socially unaware as to not notice Jin had a massive crush on him.”

 

Kikuchihara felt his face grow warm. There was something about hearing Kazama talking about somebody else’s relationship that made him blush a little. Not that he would let himself be caught.

 

“Well, from the sounds of it, Tachikawa confessed first still unaware.”

 

Kazama sighed. “Why does that not surprise me?”

 

“I dunno, because he’s an idiot, and you know this from elongated first hand experience.”

 

“Careful Kiku, let’s not use the words we don’t know the meaning of, okay?”

 

“Shut it.”

 

“Seriously though, what’s the problem?”

 

“The problem is that they won’t shut the hell up about it! Like ‘Oh, baby’ this, and ‘Oh, honey…’ that. It’s nasty!”

 

Kazama sighed. He loved to hear Kikuchihara speak empty words. It was reassuring to know how his lies were so easy to see.

 

“At least they’re happy.”

 

“Evidently they made out in the VT room after confessing their ‘undying love’.”

 

Kazama flinched. He had a feeling but…

 

“Okay, that’s slightly distasteful.”

 

“No kidding…”

 

Kazama shrugged. With Kikuchihara beside him, he couldn’t really read anyways. It’s not like the book he was reading had been particularly interesting anyways.   
He set it aside and cast a sideways glance to Kikuchihara, who now appeared to be uncomfortable and shy now that Kazama had set his distraction to the sidelines.

 

“What are you saying though, Kiku? Are you not into our little romance?”

 

“What?!”

 

“You heard me…” He mumbled. “Do you really mind dating so much?”

 

Kikuchihara’s nose tip was pink, and his cheeks were colored as he figured what Kazama was playing at.

 

“Well, I mean- you-” He sighed. “I hate you.”

 

Kazama smiled. He wasn’t coming out the other side of this conversation without hearing what he wished from Kikuchihara. It was breaking the barriers that solidified more and more every moment, that Kazama had to keep knocking down, day after day, every day getting weaker. Wearing him down until he was honest.

 

“Really now?” Kazama said, leaning in, and Kikuchihara tilted back, clearly afraid. 

 

Or at the very least, caught off guard. Most likely both.

 

“I’m hurt Kiku… I thought we had something.” 

 

Kazama dragged out his voice, pour plus fully teasing him. And it worked. One glance at Kikuchihara and you could tell how flabbergasted he was. 

 

“I know what you’re doing.” He breathed, from between his hands, which had come up to cover a flushed face.

 

“Then why don’t you play nice and tell me what I want to hear?”

 

“What do you want to hear?”

 

“The truth… why do you hate me?”

 

Kikuchihara looked down.

 

“I hate your stupid laugh.”

 

Kazama smiled.

 

“And your dumb face. It’s too damn cute, stop it.”

 

Kikuchihara sounded serious, so damn serious it made Kazama want to die. Instead, he just leaned on him, trying to see what could thicken the plot. Because there was nothing like a flustered Kikuchihara.

 

“I hate your pretty eyes. And how smart you are. And your cute little habits, and your fidgets. I hate how you always know what to do, and how you’re always right.”

 

“I’m not always right.”

 

“You are always right.”

 

Kikuchihara was finding himself at a loss for words past that point. He was about done lying for the day.

 

…

 

“Would you freak if I put my arm around you?”

 

“Not at all.”

 

___________________________

 

It was dark. 

 

Black spirals tucked at the corners of Miwa’s vision.

 

He was cold, so dead, drained of happiness, drained of energy, or life and everything that told you that you were awake.

 

It was… oblivian.

 

Void of hope, of love, of compassion. Every good thing was dying with the man in his arms.

 

Yosuke was dying.

 

Bleeding out, it was over.

 

Miwa clutched him tightly. He thought they were safe, he thought they had done it, that it was over.

 

He thought that they had won.

 

He felt like the young child that he was. It was the exact same scene.

 

Clutching Yosuke in his arms like his sister. Sobbing out, refusing to believe the reality that was set before him. His blood was pouring out, he was too late.

 

Yosuke looked up blankly and helplessly, in a manner that conveyed one thing to Miwa.

 

‘There is something I want to say… but I can’t’

 

Miwa cried out, and sobbed, begging, praying to whatever asshole in the sky would listen. 

 

“Oh god, please god, it can’t end like this, I’m not ready yet, you can’t take him away!”

 

Yosuke shook, and trembled, and he looked as if he was trying to force out the words.

 

Humans are so fond of leaving words behind, words to remember them by.

 

But it was no use, and Yosuke slackened, and closed his eyes without another sound.

 

“Yosuke?” Miwa asked, but he already knew what had happened. It was over.

 

“Yosuke!” He was sobbing, and he held him closer, burying his face in his neck, just like he would do if he was scared, if Yosuke was alive. He didn’t smell right, either. He smelled cold and of blood. It was rank, and Miwa ignored it as his head throbbed, and his world spun. 

 

Yosuke was alive, alive, alive, alive, alive.

 

But he wasn’t. He was gone, and the feeling of… weight in his heart told him that.

 

Yosuke was gone. What was the point of living anymore?

 

Why did the world continue on without him? It was like he didn’t matter. But he did, he did matter.

 

Suddenly, In a flash Yosuke was being torn out of his arms. 

 

Miwa screamed after them, he didn’t even see them, he didn’t see anything properly.

 

Yosuke was still warm, his body still held heat, and he needed to savor that as long as he could. He wanted to keep him in his arms until it was positive that all life had drained out of him. 

 

He needed to stay with him. It was too much…

 

He was gone.

 

Miwa opened his eyes. 

 

Everything was still.

 

His eyes were wide.

 

He touched a hand to his face.

 

He was awake.

 

It was another fucking dream. Another one.

 

He felt tears rise up.

 

Fuck this.

 

He took a fistfull of sheets, and pulled them over his head, creating his own little caven out of finely woven fabric.

 

This was insane… this was the second one he had had all trip, the first one was on the very first night… that one had not ended well.

 

However, he had managed to keep it a secret. The last thing he wanted was Yosuke finding out now. Yosuke was probably overwhelmed with his flaws, and he didn’t want to ward him off. Not yet, anyways.

 

Miwa gripped tightly, frustration and fear rising. He was so scared,, so afraid. What if something bad happened to Yosuke when they landed? What if he did die unfairly?

 

Miwa honestly didn’t think he could handle two losses like that. And if his sister’s death had given him depression and suicidal thoughts, having Yosuke go too, well, Miwa would be as good as dead.

 

He felt a few tears spill over. That dream had been worse than the ones he had been having in a long time. He wanted to confirm that Yosuke was still with him. 

 

Realistically, Miwa knew that he was back on the ship, and it all had been a dream, but after a moment of muffled hiccups, Miwa wiped away tears with boney knuckles, and raised enough energy to turn around, and uncover his head.

 

“Oh thank god.” The words slipped from him before he could think twice. 

 

Relieved didn’t even begin to describe the emotion that coursed through him. It was more, more, so much more. Even in the dark, Miwa combated his lack of proper vision, and traced the outline of Yosuke with his eyes. His messy hair, he resting eyes, his small little ears, his cheeks, lips, a pointed chin, a thin neck, broad shoulders, a stiff chest under a baggy shirt. His hands all curled together, like a child, his soft little breaths, toeing on snores. Miwa looked at it all thoroughly, then twice, before he was a sniffling mess again. 

 

What would he do if he were to lose him? He really didn’t know.

 

He felt so heavy, like lead filled his veins, and he was still cold and numb, the emotions and taxing atmosphere from the dream had yet to wear off. But, he knew what he needed to do, it just took a minute or more of crying into his pillow, and dreading having to stand, before finally sitting up.

 

God, even that was hard to do. He remembered the first few days after his sister passed, and the heavy loss of energy was something he knew well. It was devastating, and limiting. Still, if he wanted to feel any better, he needed to. 

 

It took what felt like the power of a small army to hoist his legs over the side of the bed. His foot was asleep, and Miwa was glad he wasn’t. Night terrors had this was of always changing, and always coming back to surprize you, and drive you closer to madness. 

 

Miwa pressed his hands down to stand up, and he stumbled forwards and, though he tried to be gentle, collapsed in Yosuke’s bed. 

 

He knew it was wrong, but he didn’t feel like he was falling asleep anytime soon, not after that, and Yosuke seemed to be a heavy sleeper, so if nobody knew, that was just fine by him. 

 

He shifted around awkwardly, trying to position himself just right, causing a minimal disturbance to Yosuke, but still being able to snuggle. He curled up under Yosuke’s arm, tucking in under his chin, Miwa’s forehead resting on his chest.

 

His breathing, his heartbeat, the slight twitch of his fingers…

 

The feeling of love came pouring in, only to turn bitter as he thought ‘what will I do when he dies?’

 

Yosuke, like every other creature on the planet will die eventually.

 

The thought, the feeling, he would have to do it all over again.

 

The very notion made Miwa’s heart stick to the roof of his mouth, and stubbornly stay there, unmoving. 

 

Before he knew it, he was crying again. 

 

He was so weak, so fucking pathetic. It was nothing more than a dream, his mind fucking with him, just like everybody else seemed too. Why did he feel the need to cry again? He was so fucking sad. Why was he like this? Miwa didn't even have time to think, before he had his arms wrapped around Yosuke properly, fastening around his waist, a strong hold that he couldn’t back out of. 

 

It didn’t surprize Miwa, but it did put him to shame as the reading light above head flicked on, and Yosuke blinked sleep out of his eyes. 

 

Miwa didn’t say anything, only tried to wipe away tears. 

 

He felt like a high-maintenance whore. He didn’t need all of this extra help, he wanted to be able to function like a normal fucking human. He didn’t go asking for trouble, he had simply drawn the short end of the stick. It was hopeless.

 

Yosuke didn’t speak. 

 

Neither of them did.

 

Miwa loved Yosuke for that, more than words could convey. He didn’t want to speak just yet, and Yosuke didn’t press him too. 

 

Yosuke began to kiss the top of his head, top arm grabbing back over him, and his bottom hand twirling the ends of his hair, and occasionally brushing that special spot where the hair meets the nape of your neck.

 

Yosuke was so warm, so close to him. He was breathing, and beating and moving, and alive. It was more than he could’ve asked for. 

 

There was a few minutes of serene silence, before Yosuke shifted downwards to be eye-to-eye with him. 

 

He ran fingers through his hair, and kissed him softly. His nose, cheeks, the corners of his mouth, he kissed at his eyelids, and a few to his lips, pressing them to him with care. 

 

Miwa was about done. Yosuke was alive, he was right there, and he needed to calm down. 

 

Yosuke wiped the tears from his eyes for him, before finally breaking the silence.

 

“Hey Princess… what can I do to help you…? Anything?”

 

Miwa nearly choked because Yosuke was too damn sweet.

 

“I’m… I’m sorry…” Miwa finally said, words silvery and thin.

 

“I… I have night terrors… I’m sorry to wake you…”

 

…

 

Yosuke froze for a moment, deadpan and unresponsive before:

 

“Oh, oh, oh Honey… I’m so sorry…”

 

The hand began tracing circles on the back of his neck again.

 

“I’m sorry… what can I do to help? Please, I’ll do anything...”

 

Miwa couldn’t even answer. He loved that Yosuke would never push him for answers. He loved that this dork wouldn’t question being woken up in the middle of the night to this, only talking when Miwa was clearly comfortable enough.

 

“I just-” He almost choked, before trying to form the sentence once more.

 

“I just want you to stay with me… and maybe some water…”

 

“Water and sharing a bed?” Yosuke asked softly, foreheads brushing, the tips of their noses skimming the others. “Of course.”

 

Yosuke was about to get up, when Miwa reached out for his hand. 

 

“Yeah princess…?”

 

“I just, I need to thank you.”

 

“Anything for you princess…”

 

“Be back soon.”

 

“You know I’ll be.”

 

And Yosuke shut the door quietly.

 

He tread down the hall in silence.

 

Miwa had night terrors, dear god, the poor baby had it so hard, Yosuke already wanted to hold him again, and he was barely out the door. 

 

He came into the main room to see Yuma and Midorikawa looking out at the stars.

 

“Have you spoken with Yosuke or Izumi yet?” Yuma was asking, and Midorikawa shook his head.

 

“You haven't? Oh, come on Midorikawa, you’re doing what your friend did. You have to help yourself before you can accept help from others. Those two would be great for you to talk to. They love you, and they know you well, and I know that they will help you through this… It’s a process, but trust me, it does get better. And I know, death is scary at first, but you have to be patient, and think this though. I believe in you, you can do this.”

 

Yosuke smiled. He really did have a lot of friends here to help him.

 

“Yuma, you know I-”

 

"Well well! What have we here?"

 

___________________

 

“Hey Yuma!” Midorikawa chirped, jumping into the seat beside his on the couch.

 

They were back in the spots they had been in a few hours ago, only it was morning now.

 

Yuma hadn’t moved. He had watched the stars all night and all morning, leaving only when he heard Kodera come out of his door, and he had a gut feeling that maybe the glasses wearing sniper wanted to be alone, he headed off to train a little. 

 

Midorikawa had fallen asleep beside him, so Yuma had carried him back into the room, and continued watching the stars, thoughts floating in and out of his head with the same consistency as a cloud.

 

Training had been nice. Kuga had an instinct that maybe he should step out for a moment, and training was a great excuse. When he had opened the door back into the hallway, Kodera was picking up papers alone, looking ready to drop dead, and Kuga had a good idea of what had happened.

 

Kodera struck Kuga as a very similar type as Osamu, only Kodera lacked a backbone. Kodera didn’t have the confidence drive and belief that his captain did, which made Kuga pity him, rather than root for him. 

 

But, Osamu seemed to like him, so Kuga remained polite, and the first time Kuga had admitted that outloud, he got a stern talking-to, Osamu saying that ‘this was what you did the first time we met! You lack empathy!’

 

Kuga had stepped in, looking to reclaim his spot on the sofa. 

 

“Good morning.” He had greeted simply.

 

Kodera had looked up, not even noticing him at first.

 

He was nervous and flustered, and Kuga noted, very easy to question.

 

He almost called him out on his oh-so-obvious-crush, but Kodera had left him before he could.

 

It was about noon now, and it seemed like nobody wanted to come out of the confines of their room, when Midorikawa finally stumbled out.

 

“Good afternoon man, you slept the day away!’

 

“Mmm… that I did…” He mumbled. “What time is it?”

 

“About 1pm… Contrary to the last question, are you sure you slept enough? You were back in the room by 4:30… I’m not sure that’s healthy…”

 

“Really? That’s about twice as long as I usually sleep.” Midorikawa said, yawning, and stretching. “No wonder I’m disoriented…”

 

“I don’t think that’s healthy, buddy.” Yuma warned, wearily.

 

“Well, what would you know?”

 

“Fair point.”

 

…

 

“So what were you up to all night?” Midorikawa asked airily. “Not anything weird I hope?”

 

“Weird?”

 

“I dunno… you and Osamu-”

 

“Okay, I think I’ve heard enough now!” Yuma cut him off, and Midorikawa sniggered.

 

“You jerk…”

 

“Come on Yuma, you know I’m playing!” 

 

Kuga sat back, and let the tension fall out of his shoulders. “Yeah… ‘course I do.”

 

Midorikawa hummed, unconcerned, and Yuma rolled his eyes.

 

…

 

There was a brief pause in which they let themselves melt the happy mood, and become more in tune with reality.

 

Midorikawa was the first to voice it.

 

“So… uh, about last night…”

 

Yuma looked up. He knew that it was hanging over their minds, but he didn’t know exactly what about it had put him on edge.

 

“Yes?”

 

Midorikawa seemed to force out his words.

 

“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable… It was probably strange… but your efforts weren't wasted… It was weird, I know… but thank you.”

 

Yuma nodded. Midorikawa was one to worry more for others than himself.

 

…

 

Yuma took a raincheck on that thought as he recalled how Midorikawa and himself had first met.

 

He’s considerate… most of the time.

 

“It’s okay… feel like you needed it.” Yuma said nodding. “I needed it once too. It’s hard, I know.”

 

Midorikawa admittedly grunted. “Something like that.”

 

“So, what are you going to do today?” Yuma asked, hoping that Midorikawa wouldn’t fixate on it any longer.

 

“Well, I want to see if I can talk to Yosuke about it…”

 

Yuma smiled. “Wow, you don’t stall, do you? That’s good, that’ll get you places.”

 

“I try.”

 

“Anything else?”

 

“I mean, not really… no, why?”

 

“I mean, after you talk to Yosuke, we could always have a spar or three.”

 

…

 

“Or five?” Midorikawa asked.

 

“Or twenty.” Yuma said smiling. “I have nothing to do today. Come on, it’ll be fun. Train up our last little bit before we get there.”

 

“Sounds great!” Midorikawa grinned, springing to his feet. “I’ll go see if Yosuke can talk now!”

 

________________________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NaNoWriMo is now over! And I have abused so much caffine, I'm sick, and I've been more sleep deprived than I haver been in my life, but I endied up wriing 51,132 words in the month of November, and I know that nobody will read this, but I won't finish this story for a few weeks. I need to play catchup on my other project, Ema birthday fic, Worldtrigger Secret Santa, finish up Rubix cube, the works, but I want to thank the one person on the planet who will read this for somehow surviving. I need to go sleep, I have never had so much trouble keeping my eyes open. have a goodnight.


	9. Clear Fog

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, time to finish up this price of shit and gtfo.
> 
> Can't wait for this to be done.

Everybody had just about stumbled up the entrance ramp of the ship. Kuga effortlessly slashed away at some Marmods that tried to follow him, and they closed the doors.

The sound of the neighbors striking the legs of the ship wasn’t promising, and the whole structure was shaking in a nerve wracking tremble. The enemies on the ground, accompanied by those on the roof put everybody on edge.

They all collapsed in the living room, Midorikawa was already carrying out the first aid kits from all of the rooms in wait for them, bleeding shoulder still untreated.

Yosuke flopped down in a chair with a heavy sigh, chest heaving, bleeding badly, all contributing to the lead that filled his eyelids, and the throbbing in his head. He felt weak, and could barely move, despite the brave face he was putting on, he knew he’d gotten to reckless.

Miwa knelt before him, snatching a kit off a nearby desk and popping it open. It had a generous heaping of medical supplies, and Miwa was thankful that the Border staff had done some packing in case of emergency like this. However, Miwa was sure they hadn’t been expecting or prepared for anything on this scale.

Yosuke closed his eyes, and his posture slackened, hunching over as he felt Miwa’s fingers lightly rolling up a pant leg to uncover a wound. It stung, oh, his cuts and bruises hurt like hell, but he didn’t want to worry him, so he held his tongue.

Although, Miwa was already worried past the point of no return. 

“Yosuke!” He snapped after a moment.

“What?”

Miwa bit his lip, finding a small tube of alcohol and a cotton ball. 

“Don’t... close your eyes.” He grumbled quieter, realising how over dramatic it sounded as he said it.

“Shuji, calm down… I’m not gonna die…” Yosuke said, smiling in a vain attempt to reassure him. Even though Yosuke knew Miwa thought it was more mild then it was.

“You’re bleeding a lot, I know it’s irrational, but it scares me.”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry.” He conceded. If anybody was scared of losing a loved one, i’d be Miwa.

“It’s okay, I just, I don’t even want to think those things.”

Yosuke nodded, Miwa was going to get his way no matter what he did. Miwa poured some of the rubbing alcohol out into the cotton, and looked up at him. 

“Hey, this is probably going to sting pretty badly, but I don’t want to take any chances, and it’s really our only option… we don’t know what those claws had on them.” Miwa told him, his fingers lightly tracing up and down his bare leg. “We need to be careful… please, try to be tough, this is hard enough as is… it’ll be over quick.”

Yosuke nodded. He bit his lip. He knew what Miwa had really meant was ‘Don’t cry, or make this worse, because I’m already worried sick about you.’

Miwa slowly pressed it into a small scrape on his shin.

“Damn it!” It slid out before he could contain it, and Miwa flinched, driving the chemical further in. He knew that he had almost died, but he had to do this 14 more times? 

Now, if you’ve never pressed alcohol into an open wound before, you wouldn’t know, but it is agony. Yosuke knew what was coming, and still yelped in pain, The frosty burn that shoots through you like a bullet, scorching pain, like a cool inferno. It aches, and stings, and throbs all at one, killing the cells it touches. 

“I’m sorry!” Miwa called out to him, and retracted the cotton. “I think that’s enough.” And very quickly began unraveling a roll of bandages. “Fuck, sorry to be a wimp.” Yosuke said, shaking his head. “I’m okay… I promise, It’ll all be okay.”

The words sounded hollow to Miwa, but he knew that Yosuke wouldn’t lie to him about something like this. So he hummed, his fingertips dancing over the exposed skin, raveling it in that finely woven elastic. 

Yosuke smiled. He would be fine after all, he thinks.

There are worse places to be. 

“Kiss it better?” Yosuke asked devilishly, as Miwa secured the first of many bandages.

“What?”

“Come on Sunshine, you heard me, kiss me better.” He grinned.

“Yosuke I’m not gonna-” Miwa sighed as he saw Yosuke leaning in, smiling. Despite that fact he was almost killed, that they both were, despite the stress, the adrenaline, the pain, he was still smiling. 

Miwa smiled too. Because, Yosuke was so beautiful when he smiled. It was a look that suited him, and knowing he always looked that way, well, it was unreal.

“Fine.” He huffed, leaning down, and kissing the outside of the bandage. 

He felt like an idiot, having to stoop so low, literally and figuratively. Yosuke’s smile when he looked back up was worth it though, he decided, even though his nose felt warm. 

Miwa rolled his eyes. “I hate you…”

“I love you too…”

Miwa started prepping the next cottonball.

“Awe, what, again?” Yosuke whined, and Miwa nodded. 

“You earned yourself these 15 wounds, and that’s on you.”

Yosuke sagged, doubling over. 

“Look I know I made you worry, and I’m sorry… I just, I dunno… I needed to keep you safe. That was more important that keeping myself safe.”

“That’s such a stupid deal!” Miwa complained. “Could you maybe use your head for once?”

“I know… I’m sorry…”

Miwa looked away. “Okay, ready for the next one?”

“I guess.”

 

Miwa felt the outline of the deep gash with his fingers, and looked away. He couldn’t bare to look at this pain close up for to much longer, and hearing Yosuke’s gasp of pain as he pressed in the fluids, only upset him more.

He was still bleeding, but cleaning the wound was a start, and Miwa peeled away the second cotton ball, and began encasing sliced skin in the bandages.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Miwa asked quietly, as he reached for a third.

“It really- yeah, I’m sure…”

Miwa leaned down, still rolling his eyes, and kissed the outside of the bandage.

Yosuke leaned back, remembering to loosen his shoulders.

“Thanks.”

Miwa softened. 

“Anything for you… or, whatever.”

Yosuke opened his mouth to make some sarcastic comment about ‘really feeling the love’, but he knew even that passive-aggressive comment was a step forward for him, so he closed his lips. Frankly, it had been a hell of a day, and he didn’t want to ruin anything with a tactless mumble, so he whispered a small “I love you.” Instead, to show that he truly appreciated the effort.

Midorikawa and Yuma had gone to help Jin and Tachikawa in their rooms. Jin was at a loss of what to do, and wouldn’t stop crying. Tachikawa was no longer in tears, but Jin being unable to patch up the injury hadn’t been a great help. 

Jin and Tachikawa were still on the bed, they had been there since bailout, and nothing had been done.

He was bleeding badly, and JIn didn’t seem to be consolable, even in a fit to try. Yuma wondered why he was really so shook, Jin should’ve seen it coming, he must’ve, and Yuma wasn’t saying that Jin had no right to cry if he could see the future, only that he shouldn’t be so broken over a few lost fingers. Tachikawa was still alive after all. It seemed odd to him that he was suddenly so helpless. Maybe that’s what love did to people.

Yuma, however, carried the knowledge that they lacked in the field of first aid. Yuma quickly sent Midorikawa for ice and towels, and Yuma began to cut off the circulation with a tight bandage, and raised the hand above his head, making less blood flow up to it. It was the least he could do, and Jin choked out thanks, between kisses to Tachikawa’s cheeks. He sounded so lost, and Tachikawa said nothing, trying to put on a brave face, and was holding Jin’s hand as tightly as he could. Midorikawa came back with supplies, and was horrified to see Jin in such a deranged position. It was… so cruel. The atmosphere of the room was heavy, yet the air was thin and cold. Truly, a loss. 

It was a scrambled fog, blood drenching the sleeves of them, and sheets of the bed. The reality taking shape, that nothing about this would change.

Midorikawa was still bleeding himself, only a shoulder wound was far less concerning, so he bared his teeth, and made a movement to help Jin and Tachikawa at any cost necessary. 

Kazama was doing no better.

Usami couldn’t stop him, not one bit, as he hung onto her, begging, pleading her, they had to stay. They had to. They couldn’t leave without him.

Usami had Kodera’s hand on her shoulder blade, supporting her, letter her know that he was right there, within arms reach. He was telling Kazama to remain calm, but he wouldn’t. He was screaming, crying hard, the water stealing from his eyes, dropping to the ground. Usami wasn’t hearing anything beyond ‘Kikuchihara’, ‘missing’, and ‘we have to go’.

The Marmod claws shook the ship, there was a huge pool beneath them on the ground, she knew. Without any agents they attacked the ship, and they couldn’t stay. 

Every moment they stayed, they risked not being able to leave at all. The gravity of the situation hit her all over again. But now, it wasn’t an ‘avoid minor injury’ this is a ‘we risk all of our lives, or abandon a teammate who we know could very well already be dead.’

Kazama was pleading, begging like a child, not a word reached her ears, and she could see that they were only reaching one of his own. Kazama’s ear was bleeding so badly, he had no doubt lost it’s use completely. Kodera was trying to contain him, but it was no use. Kazama never lacked loyalty, that was for sure, and he would undoubtedly lose his mind if anything happened to Kikuchihara. If he hadn’t already. 

They could all die here, but Usami couldn’t bring herself to leave now. Not like this. Worst of all, they wouldn't know how much damage they could sustain before it was too late. They had no way to gauge it. 

Nobody was in shape to fight all the neighbors either. The only unscathed agent there was was Yuma, and he would be swarmed and would be killed without question very swiftly if he ventured out alone. Besides, he was helping Tachikawa and Jin, another huge point of concern.

He was sobbing hysterically, begging they stay. Usami couldn’t bring herself to move or speak, part of her told her that this was her old captain, and he knew best, and she should follow him without doubt, but on the other hand, she knew very, very well he was blinded by his love and devotion to his team, and that it may not have been worth it. Wait to long, and you die, leave, and you die, fight, and you die. It seemed so unfair, that there was no way out of this hellhole. 

Kodera was pale, Usami struggled to stay upright, and there were only three functioning ears between the three of them. She couldn’t move herself towards the control room, and knew that Kazama would stop her by force, need he see fit, which he appeared to. 

Kazama would do anything for his team, and wouldn’t be past possibly harming her, if he thought it would spare his team mate’s life. 

To top it all off, it just might.

Usami was teetering, and staggering, and Kodera grabbed her with both hands from behind, to help her stay standing. 

 

“Come on, let’s head to the lab and you can sit down there, okay?”

Usami nodded vaguely, the first truly clear words she had truly heard scene they had landed.

Kazama cried out, and Usami felt guilty she knew not what he was saying, but felt grateful for that fact too, because he could only imagine the hate and bullets that were slipping from his lips, devastating and harsh. She didn’t know if she could handle it if she could hear him.

And sure enough, after what felt like years of stumbling to the lab, supported by Kodera, Kazama was blocking the door. 

She seemed to be able to hear again. 

“No.” He was sobbing.

“I’m not letting you leave without him.”

“Kazama, We’ll wait as long as we can, but I’m sorry, he could already be dead, and we might be dying for nothing!”

 

“Why would it be fair to abandon him though? If he died here, then so should we!”

 

“Kazama, that’s ludicrous, I know you care about him, but you need to think about this!”

“We aren't leaving him behind!” He cried. He wasn’t going to give up hope.

“Well, Kazama, we can’t stay here either!”

“It’s better than leaving him here for dead!”

“Kazama, please, you have to understand-”

 

“NO!”

Usami wished she could go back to not hearing this. Kazama was sobbing hard, crying out in desperation, her brain failed to even draw up an image of what this must be like for him. So soon, too. He was so desperate, it was inconceivable, he cried, and that alone should indicate the pure emptiness that overcame him. It was upsetting, and so sad that it had to be this way, but there was nothing she could do. Kikuchihara was gone, and that was that.

“Kazama,” she croaked. “I don’t want to leave him either-”

“Then stop!” He pleaded, a sore, rough whimper entering his throat “Don’t do this!”

“Kazama… I’m sorry-”

“I knew it! I knew you never cared you ignorant bitch!” He swore. His reasoning was askew, and his mind was foggy.

“Kazama, I do care, but we can’t wait here forever!”

“Shut up!” He screamed. “I would wait here forever if I had to!”

“Kazama you know we can’t!”

“Yes we can!”

“Souya! Stop this, I-”

Kazama stumbled, before sinking to the floor in a puddle of tears. 

“Two minutes, and a look out the window.”

“What?”

 

“Give him two minutes and if he’s not here by then, look out the window. If not, then we leave.”

“Kazama-”

“Please!” He was begging, so helpless and pitiful.

Usami’s head spun.

“Okay.” She agreed.

“Usami, are you sure about this?” Kodera asked, releasing her to help Kazama off the floor.

“Not necessarily, but I’m not changing my mind now…” She sighed. “If Kikuchihara is alive, he’ll be back to us in that time. 13 minutes is enough time to get the child out of danger and back. He’s good at managing time. If not he’s-” She stopped, warth draining out of her. 

“He’s…”

Kazama choked on another sob as he struggled to stand.

“Dead.” 

Her voice came out empty, hollow, and small, without life in them. Every letter clear and pathetic.

Kodera held Kazama at the waist, and opened the door to the lab. 

“You need to sit and rest, okay? I’m sorry it has to be this way, but please, don’t strain yourself… I’ll tend to your ear, I’ll-”

Kazama shook his head sharply, and somehow found the strength in him to throw Kodera off.

“I need to be in the main room when he gets back.”

“But, your ear-”

“Forget about me.” Kazama growled, swearing under his breath. “Who cares about me?”

And with that, he slunk back to the lobby, fearing like nothing he’s ever feared over before.

Usami was clearly shaken, and grabbed at Kodera’s arm protectively. 

“We should fire up the engines, and make sure we do what we can to last out these two minutes.” Kodera whispered.

Usami nodded in agreement, trying to not break down. That wouldn’t help them in the slightest. 

“Yeah… I think I know how we might be able to shift the landing systems… maybe that’ll help… maybe.”

Kazama threw himself in a seat, wiping away tears. Kikuchihara wasn’t confirmed to be dead yet. He’s not dead, he wasn’t, he couldn’t be. They didn’t know for sure, he shouldn’t cry. That was weak, foolish, and accomplished nothing at all. 

It was okay, for now.

How long would ‘now’ last?

“Hey, Kazama…”

Miwa was speaking to him. Yosuke was in a seat to his right, and Miwa was bandaging a cut on his arm. One of many. He looked concerned for him, which made Kazama want to die, or kill, he was uncertain which.

“Are you going to be okay? I’m sure Kikuchihara is safe, I know he is…” Miwa soothed him, temporarily stopping his work to really try to reach him.

“We don’t though.” He choked. “We won’t know if we leave, unless he gets back.”

It was useless, the tears didn’t seem to stop no matter what he did.

Miwa was close to Yosuke, their hands finding each other's, pressed close. It was scary to see, terrifying, really. Miwa squeezed Yosuke’s hand tightly, knowing that could’ve been him. It could’ve been any of them, Kazama simply ended up with the short straw. 

 

Miwa couldn’t begin to imagine what Kazama must be going through. If Miwa even thought for a second that Yosuke could possibly be dead…

Well, he didn’t know what he would do.

Yosuke seemed to echo his thoughts exactly, as he too looked far more concerned than Miwa had seen him in a while.

And by ‘a while’ he meant scene Yosuke had found him in his home and they had their… episode.

“Kazama… I’m sure Kiku is fine. I don’t think he would get himself killed…” Miwa tried, testing the waters.

“Well what the fuck would you two know!?” He cried, his pitch nearing a screech that send a chill down Miwa’s spine. He remembered the same tone coming from his lips as he screamed at Jin when he was 14 years old. “You two still have eachother!”

Miwa stopped breathing. His shoulders tense and chest empty. Knuckles heavy, and spine shaken, he nodded.

“You’re right… We still have eachother, and I promise you that you will have Kikuchihara back in no time.”

Kazama couldn’t even reply. He just broke off into a fit of sobs. Trembling, his hands covering his face, totally broken. 

It hurt to see, badly. Miwa felt stung and hollow as he shifted to reach out for Kazama’s shoulder, only to have a hand resting on his, and Yosuke’s soft voice in his ear.

“Leave him be…”

Miwa wanted to help him so badly, but realised that as his hand faltered and dropped, that Yosuke was right. He shouldn’t mess with this. They would have their answer soon enough, and there was nothing to do but hope. 

“I know you want to help… but I don’t think we should interfere here…”

Miwa ducked his head. Yosuke really was right, but Miwa thought back his past self, calling for help with a desperation like he had never known, and the crushing, draining, taxing reality of death and depression that hit him head on when the only answer was silence. He didn’t want that for Kazama. 

It was a little different, he supposed, but it still didn’t make it any less tempting of an option.

Yosuke gripped his palm tightly.

“Hey, come on, finish patching me up, okay?”

Miwa looked back at Yosuke, who looked bleak, and desperate to distract him. 

“I mean-” Miwa gritted his teeth. He was more than a little hesitant.

“I know…” Yosuke whispered. “I know, but we can’t do anything about it, please...”

Miwa looked back, And Yosuke raised their clasped hands, and carefully kissed the back of his.

“Come on, fix me up, princess.”

 

______

 

“Hey… Kazama-” Yosuke began suddenly, as Miwa tightened the last bandage around his collarbone.

“Is that-?”

Kazama looked up, and out the window, and sure enough, there was a black figure in the distance, closing in on the ship, fast. 

“KIKU!” Kazama cried, leaping up, and scurrying towards the window. He was still crying, but now, hopefully with a warmer feeling in mind.

“Oh, thank god…” Miwa whispered, and Yosuke wrapped his arm around his waist.

“Thank god is right…”

They relaxed at the sight of that. Anybody would. It was heartwarming, and reliving. Only three of them in the room, with Konami and Kyosuke headed off to help Yuma and Midorikawa with Tachikawa, and Midorikawa’s shoulder wound.

“Looks like this might turn out okay after all…”

And just as he said that, the ramp creaked open a small bit, and Kikuchihara was nearing the ship. The ramp lowered slowly, a swarm or Marmods at the foot of it. It couldn’t touch the ground, it was flooded.

Kikuchihara was close, so close, closer, closer. 

He leapt up, scurrying to the base of the ramp, jumping to get at it, out of reach of the marmods, and raced up. 

 

Kazama looked defeated, yet so fucking grateful, he stood at the top of the ramp, not daring to move, when finally…

The two minutes was so long.

It hadn’t even been two minutes, but it had felt like years, however long it was too damn long to think Kikuchihara was dead.

The ramp shut, and with Kodrea bearing an acute witness from the back of the hallway, the engines fired up, and the ship gave way to large complaints. 

The was a panicked pause when everybody had one last thought.

‘We waited too long, we can’t get out’

But, The ship jumped to life, and Usami and Kodera somehow managed to get them airborne. 

The Marmods fell off the smooth sides of the ship, as the awayship made it’s way away from the surface.

And they flew up.

They needed to make it out of the atmosphere before they could form a proper gate from there, but before anything, Kikuchihara slumped to the floor. 

Instantaneously, Kazama was on his knees beside him.

Kikuchihara was panting, chest heaving, on his kneeling on the floor, and Kazama, already with a first aid kit in hand, began touching his face and wounds, as if not believing he was there.

It was suspiciously quiet for a moment, as Kazama stared at the long, bleeding gashes up Kikuchihara’s sides.

He was still, frozen for a moment, before he pulled Kikuchihara into a quiet hug, suffocating on his own tears.

“I-” He sniffled. “I just- how?”

Kikuchihara couldn’t even answer his captain’s words.

He was crying, they both were, first aid kit lying there forgotten. They clung onto each other, trying to form words, but there were none. There was nothing to be said, and every broken syllable uttered was their brand of saying “We made it, you’re safe, oh thank god that you’re safe, I don’t know what I would do without you.”

However, as clean as the moment was, crying and hugging did nothing to help Kikuchihara, who was bleeding badly, and after Miwa relaxed for a moment as they reunited, he noticed that Kikuchihara was bleeding onto the floor. 

He gently tugged at Yosuke’s hand as a sign to follow him as he lead their way towards the two of them.

They sat down beside them, legs crossed, and Miwa opened the case, finding what Kikuchihara needed, before starting to dress the damage, without Kazma having to move a muscle.

________

“Kodera!” Usami called to him from one side of the lab. “We just left the atmosphere, in our state, this is our best shot at making it home alive.”

“Okay!” He called back, hunched over the other side of the extended control panel. “Should I slow us, and you open the gate?”

“Sounds good.” She said, smiling as her co-pilot could practically read her train of thought.

“Great.” He mumbled, showing that they both were responsive to the command, and his fingers worked quickly to decrease the launchers, and support the suppressors.

There was a tense moment of silence, and the only sound was the slight ticks of the machine. There was chaos outside, they knew that for sure, but nobody was going to die, and that was more than enough for them. 

Usami was more worried than she had been in a long, long time, and even though everything ended up alright, she knew this would be her last away mission. Fuck doing this again.

“You ready?” She asked, fingers hovering over the button that she needed.

“You know it.”

She smiled wider, “Awesome, activating gate.”

And then she hit the button.

…

…

“Oh no.”

Kodrea’s heart skipped a beat, and his head whipped around to face Usami.

“I- uh- excuse me, ‘oh no’ what?” He asked, feverishly.

“Well, uh… I have some good news and some bad news.”

“Good news first?” Kodrea suggested, and Usami nodded, reaching behind the headboard for the microphone. She pulled it out, and turned it on, looking shaky and pale.

“We have a gateway back to earth.” She announced. 

“Except for one part that got a wee bit damaged, so, uh, bad news is that..”

She looked over helplessly at Kodera, even though he was unaware of her next words, therefore unable to help.

“We can’t control where exactly we will land on earth, and it’s an emergency gate.”

And she hung up the microphone.

Kodera stared at her, dumbstruck. 

“What do you mean we can’t control where we’ll land?”

“I mean just that.” She grumbled. 

“We could end up anywhere, but it’s end up anywhere, or never make it, besides, we’re already headed towards it, so… let’s hope the gate will treat us right.”

And everything stopped.

_________

“I- I know you said emergency, but…” Yosuke frowned, as Usami came to join them in the living room. “A gate in the middle of the main lounge? Why is that a thing?”

zIt was a small gate, but the unmistakeable black portal, however small, was still quiet a sight to see in a modernized looking living room.

Usami shrugged, staring at her cousin, taking note that his hands was fasted tightly to Miwa’s. “Don’t ask me… We can only go through a few at a time, technically it could hold all of us, but it’s unstable, and I don’t want to take my chances. We should end up in the same place though…”

“Who goes first?” Konami asked, eyeing the active gate a few feet before her warily. 

“Tachikawa and Jin need the most help, we need to get them to a hospital as soon as we can, so they should go first, just incase there’s one in sight.” Kodrea suggested, looking to Usami for approval. “Right?”

She nodded, it was a good idea, bleeding people brought attention, and that would be a good thing to get fast. 

“Right… Kyosuke, could you grab them?”

 

“Of course.”

And he didn’t have to knock on the door twice, as Yuma flung the door open, worried to the point of frustration and anger, and stomped outside, dragging MIdorikawa along, who pulled Jin, who led Tachikawa, in a very concerning, deshelled, bloody train. 

Jin looked scared about the sudden gate in the entryway, but didn’t say so aloud, but he and Tachikawa were in no doubt in a state of shock, not really rendering what was truly happening around them. 

He took a few steps forward, tugged by the sleeve, and Tachikawa was disturbingly unemoting as he followed him. 

They were in mass amounts of pain, and the look on their face clearly implicated a state of being shell-shocked, but yet, they trudged onwards.

Technically, Yosuke was in worse danger of bleeding out, but Tachikawa’s injuries were more jarring, with Jin now out of commision once more alongside him, the intensity thickened. Unnerving.

And before long, they stepped through the small gate, unprotected, and wounded, and were gone.

Usami was holding her breath, and she looked horrified at the prospect of going through a gate without being encased in a ship of some kind.

“Who’s next?”

Miwa shuffled his feet, he had traveled by wormhole before minorly, and it hadn’t been to bad, he remembered Mira, that bitch, and how aggregating it was, but he could do it again, besides…

“We will.” Miwa said, taking a hold of Yosuke’s hand, not giving a shit who put two and two together at the moment. “Yosuke needs medical attention.”

Usami gave them a slight nod.

“Good luck.”

And Miwa, pulling Yosuke gently by the hand, lead the way into the gate. 

Kazama and Kikuchihara went next, seeking to get out of the hellhole.

It was only when Kyosuke and Konami had disappeared into the black pits of the wormhole, but the alarms begin to blare again.

Usami jumped, but couldn’t move.

“Wh- what’s it now?” She asked, fearfully, feeling numb, she would kill to be safely behind her monitor at the moment, and not in the middle of the action.

Kodera had to bit on his lip from containing a strangled yelp.

…

“We’re gonna lose the ship.”

“What?!”

Kodrea jerked his head at the gate. “Get out.” He commanded Yuma and Midorikawa, who jumped in without hesitation.

“I’m going to see if I can salvage it, before we go out of range.” He told her, voice definite.

“Wait- no, I’m not going to let you do that!” Usami cried. “It’s a suicide mission! Looks, I know we only have one ship, but with Barriers, we don’t need it anymore!”

“We might.” He called, turning, toward the lab, but before he could head off in that general direction, Usami was pulling him back.

“You are not risking your life on my watch!” She called, and pulled him back, and Kodrea stumbled, losing his footing, before Usami’s hands pushed him into the gate, alone.

______________

They are distant. 

They can tell.

They are broken. 

They are aware.

As they come spitting out of the wormhole, both Jin and Tachikawa are still virtually helpless, 

They stumble, and almost trip, yet are grabbing onto one another with silent fists, unsure how to verbalize the thoughts they share. If you could even call them thoughts. 

They’ve been taken to a familiar allyway, bricks lining the outlet, old fashioned buildings, the harsh sun blinding at first. 

Jin helded Tachikawa limp over to the wall, arms around shoulders, before they collapsed under their own weight, helpless.

And their they stayed, still wiping tears off each other, waiting for time to pass, and relive the shock that seemed to echo inside of them. But time is the most stubborn thing in the world. It makes it’s own rules, and no matter how much you beg it to speed up or slow down, it never will.

However, they were not the only one’s who ended up in the alleyway. 

The black hole appeared again, spitting out unstable energy in little shocks. 

It appeared, and Miwa, completely wrapped around Yosuke, came out, falling on Miwa’s back hard, Yosuke atop him, clinging to him in fear.

Yosuke sprang off of him, immediately, helping him up, asking hurriedly if he was alright, and If he hit his spine to hard. 

“I don't think so…” He said, grumbling. “But look at us, we did it!”

Yosuke’s posture slackened, leaning back into a comfortable back slanted stance, the hands he had around MIwa’s elbows retracting. 

“That we did…” He laughed. “That we did…” He sighed, repeating it to himself, trying to believe it. 

“Never again thought.” He added. “Traveling through a wormhole with no container? How did you do that during the invasion? It was like, the most warped, sickening, cross dimensional waterside ever!”

Miwa chuckled under his breath. “Yeah, you don’t look too good… here, let’s sit down.”

And he pulled Yosuke towards the back wall of the alley to lean against and sit down. 

Tachikawa couldn’t make out what they were saying, his whole head was feeling a bit disoriented, but he could see Miwa smiling again, like he had in the hallway. They were so cute, it was practically nauseating. Like little kittens sleeping on the same pillow, too much of a good thing. 

When the wormhole opened again, Kazama and Kikuhara came through. 

 

Kikuchihara was thrown out with little grace, face first, and Kazama, still bleeding at the ear, stumbled out, and almost tripped coming out the other side. 

“Kiku! Are you okay?” Kazama blurted out, helping him off the ground the moment he regained his footing, not yet noticing the others,

Kikuchihara grumbled, being helped up, a new cut on his cheek. He rubbed at it, bleeding a little, but in comparison to what they had just gone through…

“It’s nothin’...” He shrugged. “We should be more worried about your ear first.”

“Kiku, you’re hurt!”

 

“And you’re being irrational.” Kikuchihara pushed back. He had a point.

“Who cares?!”

 

“I do, you imbecile!”

Then suddenly, without anytime for anybody to warn them, the gate opened again. 

And Kyosuke and Konami barreled into them.  
They crashed back to the ground with a yelp, a mass of limbs…

At least the members of the Tamakoma 1 had their fall broken.

“Sorry!” Konami was apologizing profusely, but nobody was listening as they all finally asked the same question…

… why were they not all spread apart on separate sides of the universe?

Kuga and Midorikawa came through, the only agents able to land on their feet, and they voiced the same question.

Why were they all here?

There was a pause.

“Where’s the next wormhole?” Yosuke asked fearfully, after a minute, addressing everybody. “Usami and Sohei… they are coming, correct?”

Kazama ducked his head. “I’m… not sure…”

“Didn’t say anything, I thought they were right behind us...” Midorikawa offered, unhelpfully.

“That’s not good-” Kyosuke muttered, nervous. “Where the hell could they be…? Were they taken to a separate place?”

 

“That would be strange.” Kikuchihara reasoned. “For all of us to make it to the exact same place, to the exact same spot, not a centimeter out of line, only to have them be warped elsewhere?”

“Are you saying they’re still on the ship?!” Yosuke choked. “Usami- Sohei, they’ll be okay, right?”

Nobody had a real response to that, and nobody said anything. 

Silence was the answer.

Then, a gate opened, and Kodrea tumbled out. 

Yosuke was on his feet in record time, seeming to apparate to his friend’s side to help him off the ground. 

“Sohei! Thank god- are you okay? What happened, where's Usami?”

“She’s back there!” He choked out, She’s still on the ship! She’s trying to fix the warping panels to save it but-”

“Speak our language damn it!” Tachikawa called from the sidelines, eyes glassy and empty.

“She might die!”

“Wait- for the ship!?” Yosuke cried, desperate, “No way in hell- how do we help?!”

 

It was a dumb question, he knew, but if there was any way-

“We can’t help-” Kodrea’s raspy voice barely came out. “She’s alone in there…”

He was ready to burst into tears, and Yosuke took Kodera into his arms. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay…” He told him, as Kodera began to sob openly. 

Miwa rose to his feet slowly, and as Both Yosuke and Kodera sunk to the ground, Miwa moved beside them, and put his arms around them. 

And right there, in the middle of the dark alleyway, three members of the Miwa squad, tearing up, shared their fear. 

“It’s okay…” Yosuke kept telling them, the only one strong enough to even speak, the entire allyway was silent, save for the hiccups of tears, and his hushed words. “We’re not alone, we’re safe… she’ll be okay…”

Nobody said anything, nobody wanted to. 

Nobody asked anything, they didn’t have to.

Nobody had the answers, nobody had solidified reasons.

This was the madness you came to read, correct?

________

Nobody know’s how long it’s been. 

Nobody necessarily cares, either.

And while Tachikawa and Yosuke feel lightheaded from blood loss, they say nothing as they lie in wait. 

Nobody knows how long it actually was.

It could’ve been 5 minutes, and it could’ve been an hour. 

Nobody wanted the answer, nor the drive to find out.

She wasn’t coming back.


	10. The Long Road Is Behind Us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Barriers:
> 
> The longest, most boring fic ever.
> 
> I don't care.
> 
> Started on: October 13th 2015
> 
> Ended: January 18th (12:09 am) 2017

She came through battered, and crying.

 

But there she was.

 

The gate eventually opened up, leaving everybody in a shocked silence. 

 

She looked torn, and when nobody said anything, she meekly confessed. 

 

“I lost the away ship.”

 

Still, nobody said a word, holding their breath, as if once they exhaled, she would be gone.

 

It was seemingly impossible. She was on that ship the whole time? Sure, nobody knew how long it had been, but it felt to long for her to survive.

 

At that point they truely thought they were humouring themselves.

 

It was quiet for another moment, and she looked around, worried, like she had made some mistake, like maybe they would rip her to shreds. Maybe somebody had died, and her speech was disrespectful.

 

But no.

 

Yosuke was the first one on her. 

 

It took a moment, but after the inicial shock wore down, he clambered upwards, Miwa’s head raising to follow him. 

 

He jumped at her, and pulled her into a rough hug. 

 

“Fuck you!” He tried to cry, but there was happiness bubbling over in his voice. “We almost fucking lost you, holy shit, you made it, you made it!”

 

He was laughing, and Usami had windblown eyes, hand quivering. 

 

“You did it, oh god, never do that again, but oh god, you did it!”

 

Kodera stood, wiping his eyes, and looking on in disbelievement. 

 

What was he seeing?

 

He almost wanted to join Yousuke but he, A. Cannot bring himself to move, and B. Didn’t want to be more of a third wheel then he was.

 

It didn’t matter though, as Yousuke was forcefully pried off of her by Kazama and Kikuchihara, who also enveloped her. 

 

“Screw you.”

 

Now, Kazama, unlike Yosuke,  _ was _ mad, but it was within reason, and it was evident that he didn’t have the guts to tell her off properly, after he had been begging and crying, and threatening her, only a few moments ago.

 

Kikuchihara had no comment, only looked distressed, still bleeding on her, though nobody cared at this point.

 

Jin was next. He stood with help from Yousuke, and after he mumbled his thanks, Usami when to go hug the both of them again. 

 

“Do you know how scared I was?” Jin warned her, though he looked more relieved it was over then anything. 

 

“You and Tachikawa both in the same day?”

 

“I know- I know, I’m sorry!” She pushed him. 

 

“I had no way of knowing what would happen!” He reminded her, and it seemingly worked, seeing her flinch.

 

“We were all so worried about you…”

 

Kyosuke had joined them, Konami too, as they took their time to greet her.

 

Kyosuke simply whispered something in her ear as he gripped her tightly. 

 

Konami, however, took the route nobody had enough balls to take. Launching into a huge, loud stream of vulgar swears, crying out to anybody who would listen, demoting the two of them to tears, as she cried out about how stupid she was, putting herself in danger, how selfish it was, the whole nine yards. It never seemed to stop. 

 

She went on and on, and once Usami was thoroughly broken, held her close, the way two best friends would. 

 

Finally releasing her, they gasped, and Konami choked out the last of the venom she could dream up, before leaning back into Kyousuke's ready arms once she was sobbing to much to speak. 

 

Yuma came up, ready to give a high five, and call that good enough, but Usami wrapped him in a bone crushing hug.

 

He gave a little yelp, still not used to such touchy-feely… customs. 

 

Midorikawa, who had been standing behind Yuma, as any loyal partner in crime would do, was quickly snagged by Usami’s hand, and pulled in with Yuma, the two of them small enough to hug at the same time. 

 

“I knew you could do it.” Yuma grinned happily, eyes dry. “I never doubted you.”

 

“Uh, I call bullshit.” Midorikawa teased. “He was asking me what it was like to cry. He was worried.”

 

“Not like you didn’t cry either!” Yuma retorted, nose and cheeks green. 

 

Usami giggled as he listened to the kids in her arms bicker like the best buddies that they were. 

 

“I didn’t cry!” Midorikawa growled, playfully defensive. “My eyes were sweating!”

 

“I would’ve missed you.” Usami admitted. “You little trouble-makers’...”

 

“I’ll miss you too…” Yuma admitted slowly. “It really would never be the same without you…”

 

Finally releasing the two of them she took a deep breath. 

 

And finally, Kodera was in front of her. 

 

He was shuffling his feet awkwardly, fidgeted, playing with his hands.

 

“You- You made it-!” He cut off with a noise that could only appear to be a small yelp.   
  


Usami practically threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck, knocking their glasses out of place, and pulled him in. 

 

“Of course I did!” She pushed. His eyes were puffy, clearly from crying to much. “I had you waiting for me, didn’t I?”

 

Kodera swore, his heart almost stopped beating. “Yeah-h…?”

 

She squeezed him again. “You were the best Co-Pilot ever! And- and you saved me! You saved me from the Marmods! And you helped me so much- I… Of course I made it!”

 

He took a moment to remember what she was talking about. “I did- I mean, you did, who cares, that was easy! You made it, that’s the real amazement!”

 

His mind was a scattered mess, he wasn’t even sure if his sentences were forming properly, but out they came. 

 

“I’m sorry I left you in there, you- you almost died!”   
  


“You didn’t leave me! Kodera, you refused to leave me, I literally pushed you out! There was no other way!”   
  


“Still..It was wrong!”

 

“I lost the ship-”

 

“Who cares!”

 

“I do!”   
  
“You’re alive!”

 

And with that, Kodera finally unfroze to put his hands around her waist, hugging her back.

 

“I’m so glad…”

 

“I’m pretty glad too…” she admitted. 

 

She blinked as she finally realised that everybody was watching. 

 

And not only was that surprising because she was embarrassed about what she would hopefully get to do in a few moments, but also because…

 

“Why are we all in one place?”

 

Kodera released her, but Usami didn’t fully let go, letting her arms trail down his back and shoulders and downwards, until she was holding fast onto his forearms, and he followed her movement. 

 

Kodera took a step back with one foot, and was grateful when Kazama started talking behind him, a nice reason to look away, and to not blow it. 

 

It was almost too late, with his fingers trembling just from touching her this much. 

 

“I think it was the guidance beacon.” Kazama said, smiling. “We all came from the same coordinates, and we all ended up here.” 

 

Kazama held up his phone, Google Maps open. 

 

“Right here, within Mikado city.”

 

“You’re kidding.” Jin said, grinning. 

 

“Nope!” Kikuchihara sighed. “Just checked, forbidden zone is a few blocks back.”

 

Usami’s shoulders relaxed, and Kodera’s did too, not having realised the tension he was carrying until that very moment. 

 

Usami suddenly squeezed his arm, and he turned back to meet her even gaze. He felt a telltale blush creeping up his cheeks and nose. Dear god, he just couldn’t keep himself together.

 

Usami smiled, and Kodera felt weak. Why, dear god  _ why _ was he this socailly impared?

 

“We did it.” SHe said quietly. 

 

“It’s over…”

 

Kodera blinked.  _ It really was over. _

 

Usami suddenly gripped him harder. “It’s over! We did it! We made it, we did it, we did it!  _ yes yes yes! _ ”

 

She bounced up on her toes, gripping tightly and he broke a smile. 

 

Here he was, with his squad, and Usami, they made it, it was over, it really was…

 

“Can I kiss you?” Usami suddenly blurted. 

 

Silence.

 

Everybody was watching. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


“I- what?” He asked softly. Suddenly stopping. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears. Surely he had misheard her...

 

“Can I- oh, fuck it.” SHe grumbled, as if realising a few moments later how dorky that really sounded. 

 

Suddenly, she pressed a small kiss to his nose.

 

He practically jumped out of reach, face a cherry red mess. “The hell?”

 

“I asked if I could kiss you…” She told him. “And then I did.”

 

Kodera was shaking at this point, staring in shock. “No- what?”

 

“Honesltly, Kodera, it’s not rocket science!”

 

The group around them chuckled. 

 

“I just, I don’t understand- wha- how?”

 

Yosuke suddenly came up behind him, and patted his back roughly. He yelped in surprise, instinctively gripping onto Usami tighter. 

 

“I think you broke him.” Yosuke admitted her. “He so had it in for you- you’re like, breaking his reality at the moment.”   
  


“Yosuke!” Kodera cried out in protest. Though, Usami would’ve found that out for herself sooner rather then later.

 

Usami laughed quietly to herself. “Gosh, Kodera, you flatter me..”

 

“I- wait- hey!”

 

“Wasn’t my fault you-” Youske cut off his witty comment with a slur in his words, and a slight cough. 

 

Miwa was by his side in an instent.

 

“Yosuke.. are you okay?”

 

Yosuke sniffled and swallowed, righting himself. “Yeah, I should be but...-” He flinched, and his stance faltered. 

 

“Yosuke?” MIwa asked again, but he was already stumbling, trying to regain his standing position.

 

He fell right into Miwa, who struggled to support him. 

 

“Hey, Yosuke, are you okay?!” He asked once more, voice tight.

  
  
  


Yosuke blinked lazily up at him. 

 

“Yeah, you.. kno’... I’m feeling a little lightheaded- is’ okay thought…”

 

“Yosuke? Yosuke!” Miwa called, but it was too late, he had passed out cold. “Dammit!” he swore. “You should’ve said something!”

 

“Kei…” Jin mumbled. “You’re not looking so hot either…”   
  


“What’s that supposed to mean?” He responded, crossing his arms and rasing an eyebrow curiously.

 

Jin huffed, grinning slyly-but worriedly. “You’re hot, but no, you don’t look well.”   
  


Tachikawa huffed. “I’m not feeling to great, but it should be okay…”

 

Miwa’s gaze snapped up. “Well,  _ ‘should be okay’  _ is what  _ this _ idiot said! We need an ambulence. Now.”

 

“Jin, look.. Miwa noticed me!”

 

“Shut up! Kazama, please call one?!”   
  


There was worry tinting his voice, even though realistically, Yosuke should be alright, and bloodless was not the only factor of his blackout, he was set on edge holding what appeared to be a lifeless version of his boyfriend.

 

“Sure thing.” Kazama replied, casting a look at Kikuchihara. “You need to be checked on too…”

 

“As do you!” He protested. “You’ve lost half of your fucking ear!”   
  
“Worry about me later.” He growled, irrational as always.

 

_____________

 

Yosuke remembered hearing something…

 

Something faint.

 

Somebody humming. 

 

He recalls feeling. 

 

Binding, a tug of his skin in multipule places.

 

Something warm in his hand.

 

He remembers the telltale smell of rubbing alcohol, and flinches. 

 

He hates hospitals. 

 

He tries to remeber what exactly happened, and why he was there before he even attemped to open his eyes.

 

He was… they came back in one peice, they were together… they made it… then, oh yeah, Miwa was being adorable and hung onto his arm… and Usami was missing… and there was crying, lots and lots of crying… oh god… then she was back, and they were happy… and Miwa kissed him when nobody was looking, which was rare, and he wasn’t feeling well… and Kodera finally got Usami’s heart, which was priceless… and then he… was out… oh, and Miwa caught him, that he remembered because it was cute as fuck. And then… passed out?

 

Finally, he tugged his eyes open. He blinked lazily, and allowed himself a few moments of silence to adjust to the blinding light of the white walled room. 

 

“Yosuke…?” a soft voice greeted him. Of course. “Yosuke, are you okay?”

 

He couldn’t form a whole sentence so instead, he grumbled out a clumsy: “Hey Shuji…”

 

“Yosuke… oh thank god… are you feeling okay? Do you want me to call a nurse?”

 

He shook his head as he looked around. Miwa was right by his bedside, bags below his eyes even darker then usual… he really need to sleep every once in a while, damn insomniac.

 

It was a classic hospital room, white evrywere, with michmatched white, blue-green and purpule tiles popping in occasionally. He was in a hospital gown, and suddenly felt very uncomfortable.

 

“I think I’m okay…” he mumbled. 

 

He contimplated trying to sit up. He decided against it. 

 

“What happened to me… after I passed out and everything, I mean…”

 

Miwa hummed, letting his other hand join with his first, which didn’t move from Yosuke’s, and began to absentmindedly play with his fingers.

 

“Well… Kazama called an ambulence, and Kazama’s been couped up here with you… he lost his hearing in one ear… and Kikuchihara got a really bad chest wound… Jin is in therapy, and Tachikawa is still here… Uh, and so are you… You got stitches, um… two hours ago, so they might be sore.”

 

“I did?” He cringed. God, he ws squeamish… he hated the thought of somebody sewing his skin together with a needle. It freaked him out badly.

 

“Yeah… but thankfully, you were out for it… I know that you hate it…”

 

“Just a little bit…”

 

Miwa fell silent for a moment, as if picking his next question, his fingers still tangling wtih his own. 

 

“I’m just-” He stopped, and sighed.

 

“I was worried about you.”

 

Yosuke tried, and failed to not smile. “God, I love you…”

 

Miwa smiled right back, dimples and all. “I love you too…”

 

Silence again.

 

“How long was I out?”   
  


Miwa shrugged. “It’s one o’clock… so a little less then a day…”

 

Yosuke gagged. “A day?”

 

“Oh, it’s not that bad…” He smiled. “The few members that aren’t stuck here with you brought you shit.”

 

Yosuke blinked as Miwa pointed to a couple of gifts on the floor with his foot. Granted, there wasn’t many agents that  _ were _ out of the hospital, but that was fine. He smiled at Yuma’s handwriting on a card, and Osamu’s too. He could see that Kodera and Usami had brought him chocolate bars, because there was all of his favorites on the desk, and only they knew them.

 

And flowers, a bright bouque in a vase, an assortment of yellows and reds.

 

Miwa caught him looking at them confused. He never got flowers when in the hospital. (Granted, he was only ever put in the hospital once before this, and that was a story for another day.) 

 

He looked away, and back at the floor. 

 

“I-I got those for you… they wouldn’t let me stay while they gave the stitches… so I ran out and got those- least I could do… and came back the moment they let me.”

 

Yosuke shook his head. 

 

“Thanks… I love them.”

 

Miwa looked back up at him. “Really?”

 

“Yeah.” 

 

“That’s nice…”

 

“Anyways…” Yosuke chipped in, trying his hardest not to comment on how flusted Miwa looked at the moment.

 

“When am I allowed to go free?”

 

“Later today, if you’re feeling better, and nothing reopens… Do you want something to eat? I can go grab you something.”

 

Yosuke suddenly realised how hungery he really was. 

 

“Yes please.”

 

________

 

“We did it…”

 

“You did it.”

 

“Oh come on… it was a team effort!”

 

“Fine, fine…  _ we _ did it…”

 

“Damn straight.”

 

“It took us long enough.”

 

“Didn’t it?”

 

“It was worth it though…”

 

“For what? This?”

 

“No, it was worth the happy ending.”   
  


“Oh stuff it.”

 

“It took us long enough.”

  
THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this story is imperfect.
> 
> But I'm so so proud of it.
> 
> It was my first ever story.
> 
> It was the first multi chapter story for myself that I ever finished.
> 
> The story is bad.
> 
> I'll never change it.
> 
> It's full of mistakes.
> 
> I'll revise it, but it was done for nanowrimo, hectic is in the name. It's handmade.
> 
> It was the first story I ever rewrote entirely.
> 
> I'm sick of the story. 
> 
> I wouldn't have it any other way.
> 
> Nobody reads this story, and nobody commented.
> 
> But this story was for ME.
> 
> My journey through the learning process.
> 
> It's special to ME.
> 
> I'm proud of Barriers. I'm proud of all I've done for it. I'm proud of what it stands for.
> 
> I'm happy with it.
> 
> And yet, it's time to put Barriers to rest. It's over. It had its run. It's little run was full of typos and errors and plot changes an amateur mistakes, and no feedback, and frustration, and rewrites, and effort, and blood, sweat and tears.
> 
> Again, I wouldn't have it any other way.
> 
> I look forward to writing more for you all.
> 
> It's not over quite yet.
> 
> Well~ Barriers is.
> 
>  
> 
> ...
> 
>  
> 
> Thank fuck.
> 
> Have a good day.
> 
> -Dreams


End file.
